"You don't need the thorazine."

"I want the thorazine man."

"Relax."

Ministry, Just one fix

So I'm at Meijers at 2 in the morning tonight, need some tobacco and to get some food. I'm reminded of a piece of observational humor I came up with there at one point.

You see, I realized if you look at credit cards/EBT cards/Debit cards in the right light, its preaty funny.

Now forget what you know about any of those cards and lets look at the basics of it.

You walk into a store with no money in your pocket, but you do have this little plastic card. You load up your cart with assorment of groceries and other items. While in the check out line, you tell the cashier you have no money, but you do have this little plastic card. Not only do you walk out with your groceries and other items, BUT you can also walk out with cash in your pocket all cause you flashed a little plastic card. Now think about this as if you where in a period of time when no one even concevied of the idea of credit cards and the such. Its fucking insane, you mean you are going to take all this shit AND I'm going to give you money JUST cause you have a little plastic card!

heh, just one of many things I think of in a day.

I have come to realize as I have grown, normal shit can be hysterical if you look at it at a different perspective.

Lets look at a few other examples of this.

Hair Driers

Let me get this straight, you went out and spent a small fortune to buy a item that all it does is generate hot air and drys something that becomes dry after a point?

Alchol

Ok, you buy this stuff to drink and quench your thirst. Your thirst, the bodies natural reaction when it requires the life giving water that sustatains the entire body. Although alchol doesn't quench your thirst, it in fact can make you even more thirsty, especially when you are sweating. On top of this, there is a good chance you could regurgatate the alchol, negating any other fluids and life sustaning food you have already consumed. On top of this, it is known when you wake up to make you feel nausated, dehydrated, give you a splitting head ache, and your entire body aches as you desperately try and recollect what activities did you particapate in the night before.

Money

So lets see here. I give you an assorment of little slips of paper with colored paint on it in designs to represent people, buildings, and other assortment of who knows what. So I give you enough of these little slips of paper and I can get anything as long as the colored numbers on the slips of paper equal to or are greater then the number on another slip of paper glued to the side of whatever I want. So you telling me that all the power in this country, the greed that rules so many, the thing that decides your life style and how good of medical coverage you can get is all based on a bunch of slips of paper.

Magic Brownies

Ok, let me try and figure this one out. So you put the hash/resen/weed and such in the cake mix and bake it up. Then you eat a couple which gets you high, but when you are high you get the munchies. So now you have the munchies you eat some more brownies to fix it, but now you are even more high and you have the munchies again so you eat some more brownies and get even more high and get the munchies again....etc. Whoa....sounds like a comercial for doing coke I once saw years ago.

Eh, its funny to me, then again I could be talking out my ass. Which reminds me of another thing I noticed, where the hell do all these sayings come from. Talk out my ass, I don't give a flying rats ass, Get your head out of your ass and listen to me, all you do all day is sit around with your thumb up your ass.

Obsessions with ass....on the next Jerry Springer.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003