Bedazzled

I quote this movie as I was watching it earlier tonight. I know its not what you call a terrific, mind expanding movie, but it has its charms. An ancient tale of morality with a new age spin to it. Classic really, man versuses evil and the moral delima, "is your soul really worth wishes of material possesions?"

The hero, a man of simple pleasures but an outsider from colleges for being different. A man who aches inside for he feels unloved and unwanted, the two things he most cherishes and wants is his least atainable goal. Down in the dumps, a classic role of man bordering on good and evil, easily coarced to evil in the belief its good in the end just so he can reach a level of love and respect he has been craving all his life.

Hence enters the "devil", an omnipotent being with the power to grant any wish our hero's heart seeks. The only catch, he has to sell his soul, but with a serpent's tongue and charming wit, she talks him into believing his soul is excess bagage and she is really doing him a favor.

As our hero blindly stumbles each honey coated trap she sets him up with, the reality of the sitaution comes crashing down around him. As a last resort, he reaches an apiphiney, "if I can't be happy, I will wish the one I love to be happy in my place."

Such a sacrfice shall not go unrewarded as he finds out a sub section of his contract allows him to keep his soul when willingly give up a wish for the wellfare and happiness of some one else.

Ok, so maybe I'm reading a little bit to much in a "feel good but keep you from not thinking" kind of fluffy movie.

Ok, so maybe I have a tiny crush on Elisabith Hurley with here sexy accent, your amazing eyes, and here supple, pouty lips.

Just a little one....

really, only teeny little crush.

Oh, who am I fucking kidding, I worship the freaking ground she walks on.

Oh god, I'm so fucking lame for this.

I can't fully explain it myself why I have such a crush on her. Yes I know she is extremely attractive, though way to skinny, she could gain a good amount of weight, gain some more lucious curves for my tastes. Its more then that, its the voice, its the looks she gives, the mezmorizing eyes.

Just look at her...
I'm feeling weak in the knees just looking at that.

I would be freaking puddy in her hands. She wants something, by god she will have it. Could never get angry with her because the first tears she sheds and uses that weepy little voice I'll be in my knees begging for her forgivness.

I'm fucking pathetic, I tell you.

This crush and the one I have on that red head from Blair Witch 2:Book of shadows, firmly places me in internal geekdom loserness.

Then again I have always had a thing for red heads that makes me spontaneously drool, babble like mental patient after a lobotomy, convulse and fall out of my chair.

And the close color relation of red hair with brunette and black hair, gets my heart a flittering.

Don't get me wrong, I love blonde hair as much as the next computer geek with more porn then you can shake a baseball statidum at, but give me a mysteriously beautiful dark haird lass, prefferbly flaming red, and I'm a weak kneed mofo ready, willing, and able to do anything and everything there hearts desire.

Well, enough of how much of a pathetic loser I am, how about I actually try and reach the whole point of this entry.

Every time I hear that line I quoted above in that movie, then see Brendan Fraser look like he is about ready to cry JUST at that thought, it gets to me deep down inside.

For long times in my life, lasting long enough to hit me even now on occasion, I have felt like that. As if I ache so much inside, but try and put on such a strong front, that I feel I can weep at the drop of a hat or the thought of how I could weep just like that.

I could never understand why I can so easily break down into to tears like that. I know it has a lot to do with feeling like a unwanted, uncared for outsider for the majority of my life, never feeling excepted.

But I could never understand how I could let it get to me so badly when I was left alone and in silence. When my mind wonders and I wonder what is wrong with me, why can't I be loved blah blah blah the usual shit you think when a bout of depression would hit you like a hydrolic sledge hammer straight to your chest.

To this day when I'm alone and my mind wonders, or I see a scene in a movie that makes my throat tense up and my eyes fill with unshed tears.

Of course, when I'm not alone and doing this, I do the typical guy thing and try and blink rapidly to make the tears go away or claim I got something in my eye or I just yawned one of those hard ones that bring tears to your eyes.

Yeah thats it, not me crying...nahhhhhh

Ok, so I'm a little girly man weeping like a school girl with a skinned knee and shit.

But I can burp the alphabet if I want to, so that has to be some credit towards my manliness.

Of course it also makes me a dumb ass, but it seems that manliness and being a dumb ass go hand and hand at times.

I'm a dumb ass, pathetic, weepy loser with a more then uhhealthy crush on Elizabeth Hurley.

Oh yeah, I can see all the ladies come a runnin right now.

I'm going to go lock my front door before the stampede of woman kick it down and rip off my clothes and violate me like the bad boy I am.

Heh, I got one hell of an imagaination don't yeah think.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003