*sighs*

Though thats great news for you if you been sitting there for the past several days wondering, "where the fuck is Chrome!?! I need a fix of that good diary lovin of his damn it!"

Well settle down folks, no need to pop an embulism or off yourself just for plain ol' me...heh

Of course the real humor of me saying that comes from the fact I have seen a severe decline in my hits in the last four days.

Yeah, I've been gone, but its not like its been a full week, and I did give you a quicky wham bam new diary entry Pam kind of lovin during that time. You didn't have to abandon me to the harsh world of internet you selfish bastards!

*runs whaling out of the room, arms flayling back and forth. Finds the nearest corner and weeps like a newborn baby finding out his/her mom is flat chested. After a long term self pitying party, slowly rises from my corner wiping tears off my face.*

Ok..I'm alright now....don't worry about me...I'll be alright *chokes back a sob*

heh, but seriously.

To start off, this isn't going to be a very chronologically sound entry, so bare with me folks.

Tonight I was hanging out with Spanky the bass playing friend and his girlfriend. Which for now on I will be calling her Willow in here cause she has a thing with that name thats borderline sexual attraction to it...so Willow it is.

Well, Willow brings up the fact that she had this dream the other night with floating nines and sixes, and the next day she got her test back and her score was 96. Willow was comenting on how strange that was, and I noted the fact that at least her score wasn't a 69. I shit you not, but after I said that, she looked at me with this stone cold sober look and said, "yeah, that would suck."

I about laughed my freaking balls off, which just confused the living hell out of her.

Naturally for me, my mind was floating into the gutter when I said the number 69.....sexual position....that would suck......oh please don't tell me I need to hold your hand through this joke.

Being that Willow has a thing for math that I swear she could get off staring at a pie chart, her mind wasn't anywhere near the idea of the number 69 in a sexual way.

Personally I wouldn't have said shit about not thinking of 69 in that way after saying that. I would have just sat there and took the credit cause you can only be that witty on purpose once in a great while.

Ok, so this is where chronologically speaking this entry is fucked.

Saturday, me and Icey took a trip to Grand Rapids, a town I have mention in here on occasion. I've been dying for some kind of road trip, an opurtunity to go on one with someone special made it all the better.

Thing is, she isn't from anywhere around here, so preaty much all she knows about Grand Rapids was where the train station I picked her was and how to get from the Airport there to here. So that meant I preaty much had to do the navigating around, which was slightly problematic.

You see, I have been to Grand Rapids several times in my life, but each an everytime I have, I was ridding back seat. Now I could recognize a few things here and there, mostly the places I cared to go to, but I didn't know shit about getting around this town.

Ah, but we do have a map....that seems to be written by some one with ADD....and high as a freakin kite. It took passing five exits into Grand Rapids before I saw a name for one of the exits on the map. There was butt loads of streets just not there on the map at all. So you couldn't count streets on the map to see how far you had to go before you turned, because what would look like one block on the map would turn out to be four blocks. Not to mention they had locations on that map that just didn't exist anymore.

Let me tell you, it was a real hoot when we drove around one block for an hour looking for a mall we can see on the map, but don't see ANYWHERE near where it should be.

And why is that you may ask....cause the damn mall closed down a quite a long time ago and someone didn't bother to update there freakin map.

Seventy percent of the time I looked at that map and tried and compare it to Grand Rapids, I could swear someone miss labeled the map, that it was really a map to a completely different town.

Nope, just a very retarded map.

So we decide to stop at a random store and ask for the location of a few places, marked them on the map then preaty much guessed how far we had to go.

First place we locate, Studio 28. The best damn movie theater I have ever been in my entire life. This son of a bitch is huge, about the size of a mini mall.

Three freakin concesion stands with a multitude of munchies I didn't even know you could get in a theater. A large video game arcade. One of those rides you get into and it moves around with the motion on the screen in front of you. And giant ass theaters with big, cushioned backed seats.

Me being the movie junky I am, I make sure to arrive at Studio 28 an hour before the movie I want to see. Must have my time in the corner drooling like a lobotomy patient, twitching uncnotrolably as I creamed my jeans.

So after paramedics shove a wallet down in my mouth so I don't bite my tongue off, me and Icey went and seen Changing Lanes with Samuel L. Jackson and Ben Affleck. Preaty good movie, not a earth shattering, life changing good movie, but a worthwhile watch none the less.

Ok, quick "this is so cute you are going to puke day glo" alert on this next little part.

Little fact about that theater, since the Spiderman movie is comming out real soon, all the employees where wearing these cool super hero ties with there uniforms.

As we are walking out of the theater, a group of them where ushering us out, handing us coupons for there concesion stands. One in particular was wearing this Batman tie, the old classic black and blue Batman. This tie catches Icey's eye as she moves for a closer look of the tie. Then she turns to me with this bright smile on her face and says, "oh look, the phantom!" loudly enough so that all the ushers could hear her.

I smiled and nodded, then when we got out of hearing range, I quietly whispered to her.

ME: Uh, baby....that wasn't the phantom. That was Batman.

Icey: No no no, that was the phantom.

ME: No, seriously, you gotta trust me on this one. That was Batman. The second most recognizable comic book hero next to Superman.

Icey: I know who Batman is, but that was the phantom. Batman has those long pointy ears on his mask.

ME: Yeah, like the guy on the tie.

With a flat look at me like I'm full of shit, she turns back around and runs to the ushers. She makes her way around the front of all of them, suprising and confusing the ushers while she leans in once again and gets another look at the tie.

Then, she runs back to me and hides her head in my shoulder while giggling uncontrolably.

Guess who was on the tie.....go on, guess it.

Bat-freakin-man.

Yep, I'm the shit, you don't need to remind me...heh.

Cuteness alert has come to an end, you can put away your buckets now and pop a mint in your mouth....try not to breath towards me, I just ate something and I'd preffer not to see it partially digested if you don't mind.

After the movies, we went across the street to Applebees bar and grill. This was my first time I have ever been in an Applebees, so I was quite suprised the sight I saw there. Just all the memrobilia on the walls gives it a sort of club house comfortable feel to it.

The place wasn't all that crowded, especially since it was preaty late at night, so we didn't have to wait at all to be seated. First thing I see at the table, two menus, one on top of the other. The top menu has nothing but steak dinners in it.

Ah meat....must have meat.

So I order there 10 oz bourbon steak cooked so well done it rivals the leathery hide look of Jack Palance's face. And no freakin mushrooms with that. If I wanted fungus with my steak I'd have you serve me a raw one one thats been sitting out for a few days.

As we wait for our food, me and Icey made small talk about the movie and a few other things. I noted the free refills on sodas printed in the menu then proceded to drink glass after glass tell they where weepingly regretting that whole free refills option.

Then, the most wonderfull sounds filled my ears, the crackling of still cooking meat. My nostrils flared when I caught a wiff of that glorious smell of seasoned and charred flesh. Before me the waiter layed me my meal on a small cooking pan resting on a wooden board, my food still cooking as I watched. I could feel the primitive side of my brain unlocking as I listened of that sweet sizzling sound.

OH OH OH!! MEAT!!!

My forehead protruded, eyebrows became one big ass eyebrow, hair sprouting all over my body as my language is changed to simplistic grunts and growls.

I grasped my steak knife and curiously poked at the meat in the pan.

OH OH OH IT SIZZLES LOUDER! OH OH OH!!!

Testment to this glorious meat, I built a monolith out of onion and chives mashed potatos, grabbed the left over buffalo wing's bones and begin bashing them on the table as a angelic chorus played in the background. Out of the corner of my eye I spotted another person in the throws of there primtive mind as he ran around territorly pissing in the corners. Angered by his intrusion on my new found home, I let out an agressive grunt to catch his attention. As he turned around to see where the grunt came from, I slipped my hand down the back of my pants, crapped in my hand then flung my feces at him, nailing square in the face!

OH OH OH VICTORY!!!!

Needless to say, I was asked never to come back to that Applebees again. Thankfully they are like the new Starbucks, they keep poping up everywhere. Just next time I ordering nachos so I don't turn all Cro-Magnon Man at the sounds of sizzling meat.

HA!! Yeah get it! me, Chrome Magnum Man going Cro-Magnon Man on Applebees....do you see the joke!!!

eeehh....fuck it.

As a final note in this entry, we went to a carnival right next door to Studio 28 and I saw what I swear had to be Uncle Fester from the Adam's Family identical twin. Only, this guy was a cop. So imagine Uncle Fester in a blue uniform, shaved head and whacked out look in his eyes like he just shoved his finger in a light socket.

Yeah, the mental image is just as funny as the real thing. Took every once of my will not to walk by him whistling the theme song.

Well, I had a shit load of other little stories about the last few days, but there where so many of them, I have forgotten a few since they have happened. Though if I think of any of them, especially if they can be potentially funny, I let you all know that.

Tell then...

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003