Both men in there mid twenties, a few years removed from college, starting off there lives and careers.

Dexter: Greetings and salutations my friend. My god what a great day it is today!

Monty: Dude shut up, that Victoria's secret comercial is on, and I refuse to let you harsh my grove.

Dexter: My god, you still infatuated with that damn com...

Monty: SHUSH I SAY!!!

*Dexter, grumbling under his breath, clears off a spot on the couch to sit*

Monty: Aaaaaahhhhh, now that my friend is what I call a moment. Now what the hell were you babbling about a few minutes ago?

Dexter: Well, I was over at your parents house and I was fucking your sister up the ass. You would not believe how much she went on and on about how much of a lame lay you are.

Monty: Uh huh, yeah, sounds good.

Dexter: MOTHER FUCK!! I knew you weren't paying attention to what I was saying. First its the Victoria's secret comercial, now you zone out to a comercial for mother fucking Star Wars Episode 2!

Monty:DID YOU JUST TAKE THE LORD AND PARTON SAINT LUCAS'S CREATION IN VAIN!!

Dexter: Oh christ....

Monty: May you grow odd patches of hair on your body tell you look like a paritally shaved Wookie! May a hut mistake you for a toad and eat you like the slimey, green reptile that you are! May At-At's mistake your ass for Hoth and march up your fudge tunnel like...

Dexter: WOULD YOU KINDLY SHUT THE FUCK UP!! I came here in a great mood and now you've killed it with your insane ramblings and your anorexic modles!!

Monty: Alright, chill dude, no need to get your panties in a bunch.

Dexter: *sighs*

Monty: Alright, now seriously dude, what happened today to get you in such a great mood.

Dexter: Ok, you remember that firm I aplied for as one of there five only architects?

Monty: Well fuck me with a broom handle, you got the job didn't you!

Dexter Oh yeah I did. You remember that Harvard prep asshole who was my only competition and worry?

Monty: Yeah?

Dexter: Well, he was suddenly eliminated from the job process when a certain set of junior year photos of him in a very comprimising and naked postion with a goat got passed around the office today.

Monty: Holy shit! How the hell would something like that happ.........Hey wait a minute. Does this have aything to do with that "secret rendezvous" you had last week?

Dexter: *silence*

Monty: HOLY SHIT DUDE!! I can't believe you actually had the balls to pull that off.

Dexter: What!?! Look, these photos were bound to show up sooner or later. I just decided to save the firm a serious amount of embarassment by getting them circulated before they hired him. I was doing them a favor really.

Monty: My god.....I knew that "rendezvous" couldn't have been a booty call.

Dexter: What the hell do you mean it couldn't have been?

Monty: Look, dude, lets face the facts. Its been two years since your last date. Its been god knows how long since the last time you even hinted you got some. Hell, I have no proof you gotten it on at all.

Dexter: I'm just looking for the right girl Monty, back off.

Monty: Dude, let me ask you a serious quiestion....... are you gay?

Dexter: What the fuck man! Just because I'm not out fucking like a god damn rabbit on speed doesn't mean I'm gay.

Monty: I'm just saying dude. I mean it would be cool with me, just don't try and redecorate my apartment and shit.

Dexter: Oh trust me, I wouldn't dare try doing that in this apartment. First off it would have to be clean for like the first time since you moved in. My god man, this place is a pig stye. You got moldy socks in all the corners, you have converted your sink into a fish tank, and you got pizza boxes in this place from that pizza joint a block away and they have been out of business for five fucking years! AND I'M NOT GAY GOD DAMN IT!!!!

Monty: Then you are virgin then.

Dexter: What makes you think that.....

Monty: I don't know dude, just a hunch I had. I'm sure I'm wrong so lets just drop this subject....

Dexter: HA! Me a virgin! The idea is proposterous. How would you explain back in high school when I spent that entire night with Patty Nora...

Monty: Uh, dude, I talked to her like last year. She told me all you two did was cuddle and talk all night long.

Dexter: Well then bright boy, explain to me the night you caught me in my car with all the steamed up windows when I was with Lisa Dela....

Monty: Dude, I hate to break it to you, but Lisa is a lesbian. She always has been, will always be one. Besides, she let everyone in school know the next day that it was just you masturbating in the back seat of the car cause she wouldn't give you any.

Dexter: I did no such thi.....she did not say that in schoo.........she was a lesbian?

Monty: Dude, sorry to let you know this way, but I thought for sure you knew. Especially when she got caught with Miss Morton in the locker room munching her rug like it she was piggin out on Deny's all you can eat buffet.

Dexter: Holy fuck that was here?

Monty: My god dude, what the hell were you doing in school to make you miss out on all this shit.

Dexter: Well, there was that laughing gas incident at the senior bash out on old canyon road.

Monty: My god I don't need to be reminded of that night. I still have the pictures to prove it. You in a dress with more make up then your average crack whore, covered in puke. It wasn't a preaty sight....

Dexter: *sighs* I still once in awhile run across someone from our school and they still offer me five bucks for sucky sucky.

Monty: Heh, I was only joking when I started saying that. Who would of thought it would have lasted tell this day....

Dexter: YOU STARTED THE SUCKY SUCKY SHIT!!!

Monty: Did I just say I started that? No, no dude, I meant Jack Bishop started that shit. I kicked his ass reall good for you too. To this day he's still coughing up pieces of his nike shoe laces.

Dexter: I swear to christ man, one of these days I'm going to come in here when you are sleeping and I'm going to smother you with one of your stank ass socks! I'd probably be doing the world a favor....

Monty: Whoa, dude, that was uneccassarily harsh.

Dexter: Monty....I'm...I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that, you know that don't you.

Monty: Yeah, yeah I know dude, I know.

Dexter: Its just sometimes you can really frustrate me to the point I don't know what I'm saying anymore.

Monty: Heh, I'm multifaceted like that. Now seriously, we have been best buds from that day in kindegarten when Kris Staff shoved your face in the mud and wouldn't let you up. Then I ran up and kicked him in the ass so hard he went flying face first in that giant mud puddle.

Dexter: haha I remember that! He was so fucking pissed at you that entire year. I swear, if he had ever caught you, he would have turned you into a bloody mess.

Monty: Heh, you may have noticed I was getting in pretty good with all the girls that year. They kept me updated on where Kris was at all times.

Dexter: Yeah, you have always seemed to have a way with the ladies. Well, for a week or so, then they always end up smacking you or kicking you in your balls.

Monty: Like I've always said about the ladies and me, dude. I'm great in small doses, but to long and you are goig to want to cut my heart out with a rusty spoon.

Dexter: Didn't your last girlfriend actually and try and do that to you in your sleep?

Monty: Yeah, her and about twenty other girls. Look, enough about my love life. You can trust me dude, I love you like a brother. Now tell me, are you still a virgin.

Dexter: You know how nervous we all were back at that age about girls and sex and shit. Well, I never seemed to get over that nervousness. Then, after a point I just started waiting tell I meet the right girl. Someone I could love and care for with all my heart and would freely give all that back to me. I just never seemed to be able to find that one woman. Then about half way through college I decided to say fuck it, get real drunk and fuck the first willing girl I could find at the party.

Monty: Hey wait a minute dude. I remember that night. Wasn't that the night you meet Sarah for the first time?

Dexter: Uh, yeah, she was the first one I came across. Only instead of getting real drunk, we talked all night long about life and love and poltics. It was the most stimulating conversation I have ever had in my entire life.

Monty: My god dude, you didn't even get into her panties did you......you started respecting her to much to slip her some kelbasa into her pita of lurve didn't you?

Dexter: I wouldn't put it as disgusting as that, but yeah I started respecting her to much to....well, you know. We became the best of friends that night. I still get phone calls from her out of the blue and we talk all night about whats going on in our lives.

Monty: Oh christ, I think I'm going to hurl.

Dexter: Oh don't be a bigger asshole then you have to be.

Monty: So let me break down this unecassarily long story down. So you saying are still a virgin.

Dexter: Uh....yeah.

Monty: Hey, thats cool with me dude. I'm just glad you aren't gay or nothing. Or else I would have started wondering what your true motives were when we slept in the same bed on our cross country trip after college.

Dexter: What the fuck man. You know very well we couldn't afford seperate rooms, and neither one of us could be satisfied sleeping on the floor. It was an sound economical decision I made so we didn't go hungry half way through the trip,

Monty: Yeah, sure, whatever dude. Thats why you always kept trying to cuddle up with me at night.

Dexter: OH HELL IF I DID!!

Monty: Why the hell do you think I was fully clothed every time we went to bed after the first week? I was afraid you would have mistaken me for your favorite blow up doll and try and lube up my ass.

Dexter: The levels of your crudness shall boggle sane minds and psychologist for decades to come.

Monty: That is so bizzare, thats the same damn thing my last three girlfriends said to me before moving all there crap out of my apartment.

Dexter: Don Juan, tell me, how did work go for you last night?

Monty: Well, thanks to miscomunications in the motor pool, all transactions of yesterday where cancelled do to a technical malfunction. Yielding a sudden and unprovoked execution of my contract.

Dexter: Your car broke down so you couldn't deliver pizzas last night, and because of that you got fired.

Monty: That about sums it up....

Dexter: What the hell man! You got a bachelor's degree in computer science and programming. Why the hell do you insist on these shitty fast food jobs all the time? Why the hell don't you finally get a real job. Maybe join the real world and use your degree to get you a career.

Monty: Hey, don't hang up your preasures of "normal" society on me dude.

Dexter: Fuck man! All you do is work these shitty ass jobs and get fired within a month. Then you spend all night in front of this entertainment center, which costs more them my brand new car might I add. And you use your lap top to surf the internet all night and hack all the porn sites.

Monty: 29.95 a month for that crap! If they would be more reasonable with there prices, I wouldn't feel the need to hack there sights then post all there content for free on a geocities account. Really, its there fault for being a bunch of greedy bitches.

Dexter: You are going to get caught doing that shit one day. Then you are going to be stuck in prison and try to explain to Bubba, your new cell mate, how you got put in there in the first place. I bet Bubba will have a real laugh about it the night after he makes you his prison bitch.

Monty: I aint no one's bitch for anything short of three cartons of Pall Malls and a nickle bag.

Dexter: Yeah, whatever man. I gotta go, I have some shit I have to do before I meet my parents for dinner and tell them about my new job.

Monty: You're going to be back around in time for pizza and wrestling right?

Dexter: If I have to fake food poisoning to get away from parents in time. So, yeah, I'll be here in plenty of time.

Monty: How about your super size that yeah to a OH HELL YEAH!

Dexter: heh....Oh hell yeah!

Monty: You see were I think you are gay...you say that like you have a lips and a bent wrist.

Dexter: Oh shut the fuck up....your Victoria's secret comercial is back on.

*SLAM*

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003