Dexter aproaches wearily through a cloud of Star Wars fans lining up with there folding chairs and sleeping bags. Watching the more agressive fans with collapsing light sabers for "sudden movments".

Dexter: Hey Monty, I see you got a position near the front of the line.

Monty: Yeah, had to pay a kid to sleep here for two days straight. Little fucker still couldn't get first in line despite that. I think he excepted bribes of food and water for that first postion...whiny little bastard.

Dexter: So what did you offer him as a bribe?

Monty: I burned him a copy of Episode 2 divx.

Dexter: Wait...does that mean you already have the movie on your computer at home?

Monty: Uh yeah, of course I do dude...I've had it for like a week now.

Dexter: Then why are you sitting here in line if you already seen the movie?

Monty: Dude, you just don't get it do you.

Dexter: Cann't say that I do.

Monty: Its fucking Star Wars dude! You just cann't pass up an opurtunity of seeing it in the theater. Plus, do you have any clue how much the first showing tickets and the free Star Wars at the showing shit will go for on Ebay in a couple months.

Dexter: Yeah, I had a feeling it was something money related.

Monty: Christ dude, its much more about the money! Its Star Wars, the epic of adventure of good versus evil, the struggle of man versuses the demons within. Its an age old story that has kept all of humanity fascinated for eons....plus the special effects are real wicked.

Dexter: Well, Phantom Menace sort of sucked ass...

Monty: You take that back right now or I swear I'm going to shove this Jengo Fett action figure straight up your ass.

Dexter: Damn, you are touchy when it comes to this shit.

Monty: I'll show you touchy when my foots up your ass.

Dexter: My god you have grown quite a facination for putting things up people's asses.

Monty: Yeah, ever since I downloaded Back door babes volume 8. Its amazing how far the sphincter can stretch.

Gasps of suprise from a passing mother and her children. The mother quickly grasps her children, covering there ears while staring at monty with a wide eyed disgusted look.

Monty: Welcome to reality little kiddies, it can only get worse from here....

Dexter: Christ Monty, what the hell has gotten into you?

Monty: Its these crowds dude, I cann't stand these crowds.

Dexter: Yet you still insist on coming to see the movie despite having it on your computer.

Monty: I defy logic, so stop trying.

Dexter: Mother of god...

Monty: What?

Dexter: Look right over there at that woman in the gold bikini.

Monty: Ah, classic Princess Leia circa Return of the Jedi. I wonder if she needs a thinner more computer literate Hut to tie her up and show her who's the lizard king.

Dexter: My god, she is so.....so.....

Monty: Hot that she could be a porno star?

Dexter: I was thinking more along the lines of majecsticaly beautiful.

Monty: I was thinking more along the lines of how she would look after I gave her a pearl necklace.

Dexter: Christ, you can be seriously crude sometimes.

Monty: Hey, I just call them as I see them dude.

Dexter: What I would give to go out on a date with her....

Monty: HEY YOU IN THE GOLD BIKINI!!! Yeah you, could you come here for a second.

Dexter: What the fuck are you doing!?!

Monty: Making your dreams come true...

With a quick shove, Monty pushes Dexter into the aproaching gold bikini clad woman. Dexter fumbles to keep from knocking her over, accidently grabbing her firmly on her ass to keep her up right.

Dexter: Oh my god, are you alright...

Bikini Woman: GET YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF ME CREEP!!

Man: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE!!!

Monty: Oh shit....I think that seven foot tall Wookie over there foaming at the mouth is her boyfriend.

Dexter: Oh christ....I'm sorry...I-I didn't mean it like....I mean I wasn't trying anything....I'm so so sorry....

Monty: Stop apologizing and just run.

Dexter lets go off the woman, dropping her flat on her ass as he and Monty turn around and run while being chased by a large man in a Wookie costume. Fleeing through the parking lot, they make a break for a near by mall where they finally lose the man chasing them. Stopping for a breather, the two of them hide out in the food court.

Monty: Its not every day you can say you're hiding out from a Wookie cause you grabbed his gold bikini clad girlfriend's ass.

Dexter: Why the fuck did you do that!

Monty: Hey, if my memory serves me correctly, you where the one groping that chick's ass, not me.

Dexter: Only because you shoved me into her and I was trying to keep from knocking her over.

Monty: I'd work on that cover story a bit more in case that Wookie ever finds us.

Dexter: You asshole. The shit you get me into sometimes.

Monty: Dude, I was just trying to help you out. You keep talking about how you wish you could date this woman or that woman, but do nothing about it. And quite frakly, the whining was starting to get to me.

Dexter: I don't whine about it.

Monty: So tell me.....was it firm but supple to the touch.

Dexter: You ass.

Monty: No, I'm talking about her ass not mine. I want details man!

Dexter: Tell me again why I remain friends with you.

Monty: Because your life would be empty and meaningless without me. And lets face the facts dude....you love me.

Dexter: I've always been masochistic that way.

Monty: I think the coast is clear. Lets get going before some fan boys take my spot in line.

As they make there way through the parking lot, a close eye out for any stalking Wookies. Monty makes a stop at his car.

Dexter: What the hell are you doing now?

Monty: I just need to take a little bit of the edge off from that chase.

Dexter: Don't tell me you are going to get high in the theater.

Monty: Fuck no, are you crazy. I'm going to smoke it here and ride the waves while watching the movie. Now get in the car.

Dexter: Why should I get in the car?

Monty: Because it would look pretty conspicious if I'm sitting here smoking something as you look all around nervously like you always do. Now get in the damn car and chill.

A few minutes later the car begins looking like a cheech and chong movie as it fills up with thick smoke.

Dexter: *coughing* can't you crack a window open at least.

Monty: And let out all this precious smoke. I'd sooner watch a 24 hour Golden Girls marathon then waste all this sweet sweet smoke.

Dexter: Well hurry up, I think I saw the line move.

Just as the doors to the multi-plex open, Monty and Dexter jump back in line. As the line slowly makes its way in, Dexter stares off into space.

Monty: Hey, keep up with the line dude. You're pissing off everyone behind us.

Dexter: Huh? Oh yeah....I'm with yeah man.

Monty: So....how you feeling there buddy?

Dexter: Pretty god damn good thanks for asking.....excpet my mouth has gotten really dry all of a sudden. I need to get something to drink before we go into the movie.

Monty: Yeah, probably something to snack on also, right buddy.

Dexter: Hell yeah!!! We gotta get some popcorn and some nachos...oh and a big box of goobers and gummy bears, we just HAVE to get some gummi bears!

Monty: heh....sure thing dude, call it my treat.

Ten minutes later, Monty and Dexter stand in line a the concesion booth, a big goofey grin on Dexter's face as he stares off in space. Without warning, Dexter's grin changes into a wide eyed horror filled look.

Dexter: HOLY SHIT I'M STONED!!!

Monty: *cringes* He means stoked ladies and gentlemen....he's stoked to see episode 2.

Dexter: *grabbing desperately onto Monty's front shirt* how the fuck am I stoned, I didn't even smoke your shit.

Monty: Contact buzz dude, it happens when you are near the smoke enough. Especially with the shit I had, real good hydro. You can tell by the purple hairs and all the crystals on the leafs.

Dexter: You asshole, how can you do this to me!!!

Monty: Cause I could never get you to try the shit out at all, so I had to trick you into your first time. I know it was wrong for me to do this dude, but you just had to try it once. Loosen up that damn collar some and maybe you could finally get laid.

Dexter: *looks around a bit, a confused look on his face* what?

Monty: Yeah, I thought so. How about you just go into the theater and I'll meet you there with the snacks and drinks.

Monty, arms full of various snacks, meets up with Dexter in the theater. The lights dim, the screen jumps to life and the adventure begins. Two and half hours later, as the lights come back up and the audience aplauds, Dexter sits slumped in his seat passed out. The carnage of empty candy wrappers and torn up box of popcorn lay all around him.

Monty: Christ almighty did you just see that!!! Holy shit is Yoda one bad ass mofo! Hey, Dexter, wake the fuck up man, its time to go.

Dexter: Huh...wha....what happened.

Monty: See, I told you to take it easy on that shit. Instead you stuffed yourself tell you passed out.

Dexter: I don't feel so good...

Monty: After watching you pour that shit down your throat even I don't feel good. Remind me next time I trick you into a contact buzz to use some lower grade shit....you adviously cann't handle the mean green.

Dexter: There isn't going to be a next time asshole...I can hardly move right now.

Monty: Well, you better find a way to move cause I think I just spotted that Wookie from earlier and man does he still look pissed.

Dexter: *slumps further down in his seat* christ, did he spot us?

Monty: Uh, judging by the fact he is running full bore down the aisle towards us I would have to say definetly yes.

Dexter: Remind me to pummel you within an inch of your life later.

Monty: Yeah, take a number pal.

A mad dash to the emergency doors, our "heroes" escape to live another day and for another misadventure. Tell then....

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003