When, exactly, do you know when you have crossed that line between releaving stress and chronic masturbation?

Really, have you thought about this one.

Sure, masturbation is one hell of a fun hobby to take up. After all, who knows better to please you then you.

Just what signs do you watch for to know you are an offical "obsessive masturbator".

Do you....

Find the use of lubricants to be good because without it, chaffing is bound to happen?

You take the pain staking practices of becoming ambidexterous just for those nights you can use your other hand and pretend its a new woman?

Wonder if your hand would look prettier if you applied some lipstick and a little rouge?

Replace all your photos of past girlfriends in your wallet with pics of your hand in exotic underwear?

Draw little nipples on your knuckles and pretend you are giving it to a porn star with a very strange set of breast implants?

Wash and moisturize your hand on a semi hourly basis to simulate that natural feel of a woman?

Begin seriously contemplating investing money in things with catch phrases like "pocket pussy" and "pump and suck mouth" and "so real you'll swear she will scream out BIG DADDY!"?

Whisper sweet nothings into your hand as you wine and dine "her" while playing some Barry White softly in the back ground?

Send your hand to adult learning classes about how to be a better lover?

Learn to become a ventriliquist just so you can throw your voice and pretend "she" is talking to you?

Give your hand a female name then buy it sexy little outfits so it can tempt and tease you all day long looking all sexy in her daisy duke shorts and lycra mini skirts?

Make up a long list of signs of chronic masturbation and hope no one actually thinks you do any of these things?

Seriously, people, I need to get a girlfriend.

This is getting pathetic.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003