Puddle of Mudd, Control

Ok, you have GOT to see this page here.

Now go read this so my diary entry makes sense to you.

*taps foot and whistles while waiting patiently*

Ok so you have read it???........good

FOR FUCKES SAKES, WHO THINKS THIS FUCKING SHIT UP ANYWAY!!!!

Can you believe this flaming bag of horse shit!! They want to clone Jesus!?!?

and I quote.....

No longer can we rely on hope and prayer, waiting around futilely for Jesus to return.

Its a truely sad state of affairs when this day and age, people feel that technology is the only way to save our souls.

"Dude, this part is preaty fucked up right here."

South Park

So there just going to go against all there belief structure, to pray and have faith in there God. To ignore all they have been taught about God's will and shit. Aint it nice to see people twisting religion to once again get what they want without feeling guilty. Isn't it just so convenent.

So, I sent Gawain the web address so he can have a look at this shit himself. He proceded to laugh his balls off, pick them up, and duct tape them back on. *Which he has got to for when he finally gets some hot sweaty monkey lovin from Ever* Which then we start joking about the possibilities of it. Here is a few ideas Gawain came up with and I extrapulated on *ooohhhhhhh check out the 25 cent word I just used, aint I talented*

COMING TO A THEATER NEAR YOU *Except you Chrome, cause your theaters sucks big, hairy donkey balls*

MUTANT JESUS AND THE TOXIC APOSTLE!!!

A horrible accident accures at the labotoreys of "Christains for a better future while corrupting our entire belief structure as we see fit." I foul up occurs as they attempt to clone Jesus Christ. Now the Mutant Jesus and his side kick Toxic Apostle reek havoc across the world, smiting non-believers and Scientologist alike.

SUPER JEW!

Jesus Christ has been succesfully cloned, but during his birht was bitten by a mutant crack whore, devolping super powers. Now he flys around the world saving the pagons from there blasphemes while keeping that ripped ab look so popular on many crosses.

LOOK IN THE SKY....IS IT A BIRD...IS IT A PLANE....NO ITS SUPER JEW!!!

Good Christian Mother:Oh Super Jew, my child wants to go see a Marilyn Manson Concert and watch Dogma.

SUPER JEW: Well I'm here to save the day ma'am. Just give him this panflet on the evils of free speech and letting people do what they want. And give him a glass of this every night to keep him docile and in control *hands her a glass of water*. Oh wait, I forgot my patented touch to that glass *KAPLOW!!! Water to wine.* Have a good day and may me be with you.

Good Christian Mother#2:Oh Super Jew, my son has denounced you and has taken up budhism. What should I do Super Jew!

SUPER JEW: Well ma'am, your son is going to hell, sorry to say. If you get him to stop wearing his bed sheets and get him to a church real soon, I'm sure he will be just fine.

Sinner: Super Jew! Please help me, I can't stop watching Thats my Bush while masterbating to naked pictures of Beau Arthur and shit!

SUPER JEW: Dude, thats just sick. Get yourself another hobby, and do not shake my hand.

heh heh......wacky religious freaks..they provide hours upon hours of material to laugh at.

Now here is another point we ended up talking about.

DUDES, NO MATTER HOW OLD THEY GET, WILL STILL BE ABLE TO SHOVE YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT UP YOUR ASS!

Now, there a rare few actors who have proven over a long career to be some of the most intimadating mother fuckers on the planet. And we aren't talking large muscled no neck bastards. Where talking about guys who stare at you just right you want to crap your freakin jockeys. The quiet cool, relaying there intimadation with a look in there eyes and squinting of there eyes.

BRUCE WILLIS Now he seems larger then life, a name everyone has heard, and many have loved. He is so big, but they way he is in roles, he seems to be a regular down to earth Joe you can actually see being friends with. Now, if he gives you that squinty eyed cold look, beware my brotha. He is giving you that "Listen, don't fuck with me and I won't be forced to fuck you up" look, you might as well curl up in a fetal postion and pray for death.

CLINT EASTWOOD The king of the look of intimadation. From his days in old westerns to his days as Dirty Harry , he has been putting the fear of god in so many. He is more effective then chocolate laxatives to losen your bowls up when he gives you that cold dead look.

JACK PALANCE Dude, he is just freaky looking, don't try and tell me different.

Any of these guys I wouldn't be caught in a dark alley if my life dependent on it. They could be in wheel chair or using a walker and I will still be scared shitless so much my knees would be knocking like Shaggy in Scooby Doo.

Well, my mission here is done......I'm going to go take a weed nap...eerrrrrrrrrrrrr I mean sleep the sweet dreams of Jessica Alba in stockings and garters and......eerrrrrrrrr I mean........damn I don't know what I mean.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003