Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer

Oh I'm one annoyed, pissed off mofo and you bet your sweet bippy I'm going to take it out on a few people. Oh yeah cause its.....

BITCH FEST 2001! Ranting and Raving just cause I feel like fucking doing it!

Lets start with the Taliban and Ben "bitch boy" slobberalot. Can you believe this shit!! There talking trash and trying to intimadate us....ooooohhhhhhhhhhh I'm so scared I'm pissing myself. So what if the Afganies beat the Soviet Union before, I got news for yeah bitch boy, we aint those fuckers. We, unlike them, didn't go bankrupt and was having a tough time feeding our soliders. We are what you call the MOST technologically advanced military in the fucking world slap happy. We got guns, bombs, big additudes and a inferiorty complex. A mix more deadly then a red neck full of boones farm wine with a hunting rifle while looking for his cheating no good sister/wife! You dont' think we are brave enough to come over there huh dick pinch! Hey, let me give yeah a bit of history for yeah buddy. We are the country that started one war over oil and another to satisfy a debt with France! *Vietnam for you unknowledgeable* You think we are going to pass up a chance to reek revenge, whip our dicks out and show the world how manly we are!!! What the fuck you been sniffing ass slapper!?!? So do us a favor, stop chewing lead paint chips and shut the fuck up. Cause we are coming over with big fucking guns and giant fucking bullets!! Oh and to all you innocent Afghanie people, sorry, but please move the fuck out of our way. We promise, when we are done kicking some camel humping ass, we'll buy you a happy meal.

And while we are opening a fresh can of whoop ass, lets do it right! I say we send Miss Cleo, Tom Green, and that fucker who keeps trying to sell you his get rich quick scheme on infomercials with the catch phrase, "all you have to do is put in tiny, little adds." And I say fuck waisting money with air fair and shit. Strap them to a few bombs, cover them in NADS hair remover, and tooth pick there eyes wide open. I bet money Tom Green will be making fucked up noise and try humping the missile while Miss Cleo keeps yelling, "CALL ME NOW!!!" Hell, while we are at it, lets send the Klu Klux Klan and all the Neo-Nazis over there too. We'll just tell them that theres this big group of africans over there claiming they have rights to and fuck all bald headed hood wearing beyootches! That will have them running over there faster then Dom Deliuse to his refrigerator.

since I'm one pissed off mofo, lets jump on a few other topics here.

MISS CLEO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND AND QUIT CALLING MY HOUSE!! No, I don't want five free minutes *in acutallity its only two with three minutes of waiting on hold* and no I don't want to hear your babbling bullshit about how you are psyhcic and shit. Hey, if your so psychic, then can you for see me planting my boot straight up your ass!! Yeah I didn't think so....

How about this, I saw this comercial for some furniture store. The show some gawd awfull bright green chair and say some shit like "for people with taste" or something like that. Taste, what some people love the taste of there own bile rising up in there throat. That was one of the ugliest god damn chairs I have ever seen. And the fucking color!!! I have this little rule that I won't buy a piece of furniture the same color of something I would find in my own god damn vomit! Call me strange, but I don't want something that looks like some one tossed there cookies on it.

And while I'm on the topic of furniture, what the fuck is up with people who have all white houses!!! "Oh, aint it so brave of me to have white carpeting and furniture?" Brave, no, mildly retarded, very much so. Stop fucking telling me its brave to have white shit! One thing, all its going to do is make you one paranoid, unrealistic fucker. If you got to ask me how dirty my socks are or when is the last time I washed my feet, DON'T INVITE MY ASS OVER!! I get this strong urge to spill something very bright and very staining all over it! You know these are the people in old age that will have more plastic covers over the furniture then your average goth raver's outfit on a Saturday night! If I want to walk on strips of plastic, I'll go to McDonalds and play slip-n-slide on there walk in mats.

Speaking of McDonald's, is there a requirment for in order to run the drive up window, your IQ can not be higher then your shoe size!? You know how long its been since I ACTUALLY got everyting in my bag that I asked for?? I think Reagen was still in office then. Is it to much for you to remember I SPECIFICALY asked for hot mustard and sweet and sour sauce for my chicken nuggets!!! Does it fry your fucking brain when I ask for two different sauces.

"Oh shit, he wants two sauces AND fries. Sensory overload, danger Will Robison danger danger!"

Where in that pea sized brain did two sauces get confused with no sauce at all?? Oh and gee thanks for that ketchup and salt I ASKED not to have. Give me my sauce for my nuggets bitch boy. I want to dip my dry ass nuggets into something, hence why they call it nugget dipping sauce!!! Do me a fucking favor, save up some of that pathetic thing you call a check and buy yourself a clue buddy!

Speaking of a flaming bunch of fucking idiots. I saw the most amazingly explotive, give this country a bad name comerical I have ever seen. Seems some assholes are trying to sell little flags you can put on your car windows so while your driving, you can have this little poleyster flags flapping in the breeze, giving you another blind spot while driving. Oh wait, there's more, if you act now you will also get a nifty pin and a peel away american flag you can slap on your window so you can further obstruct your view while driving. EAT SHIT AND DIE MOTHER FUCKERS!! Quit exploting this countries pain and misery with your cheap ass "made in Tawain" bullshit! I cann't believe this shit! Ok I can, cause for every misery there is, then there is at least three assholes trying to make money off it. Yeah I'll buy it, and while I'm doing that I'll hire some crack whore to shove it straight up your ass then stick that pin your dick giving you a patrotical prince albert!

Oh I swear, I'm going to flip out one day and I'm taking all these fuckers with me!

Can you tell I'm a bit edgy today?

Where is that god damn prozac IV I ordered off of e-bay!

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003