Of course, the problem with this is I'm dog tired by time I'm running around and doing things. As I was this morning.

I made my apointment and got that done over quick and then the only thing I wanted to do was run home, do a flying body slam into my bed and crash faster then Enron stock.

Thing is I'm already out and about, I might as well hit Meijer to pick up a few things I'm in desperate need of.

Bad idea...very very bad idea, especially just when I got my check today.

'

The only way me going to the store at that time would be totally baked out of my skull then I would have spent a hell of a lot more then I did just from being slightly delirious from lack of sleep.

First off, I decided to hit there little in store restraunt to pick up a bite to eat and get some caffenated goodness in me. Well, its a little past ten in the morning and the only thing they seem to have is tons of fried chicken, some buritos, and a few corn dogs on a stick.

I don't know about your area of the world, but around here every store that has a hot food deli section is predominately filled with fried chicken. And almost all of it gets eaten every day. Seems a LOT of people love there fried chicken around here.

Well being that its early in the morning and I have been feeling a bit on the sickly side lately, fried food just didn't apeal to me.

But hey, they have a salad bar...which costs three and a half dollars per pound....per freakin pound.

Ok, I love me a good salad, especially with my favorite toppings. Slices of red onion, bacon bits, two varieties of cheese one being sharp chedder, croutons, brocolli, with a home made italian dressing I make from those packets and balsamic vingegar with half as much oil as they suggest to give it a more biting taste. Put a good sized, fat free steak well seasoned in a worchester sauce thats been cooked two minutes shy of being a good belt and a piece of garlic bread and I'm in heaven.

Whoa, I just made mysely hungery typing that.

As I was saying, I love me a good salad, but not enough to be buying it by the pound.

So I said fuck it on the food and just got me a large pop. Its one of those kind of self service, fill your own cup kind of places like Burger King. So I go over and start filling my cup up, taking little sips to quench my thirst and squeeze some more pop out of them, and I look on top of the pop machine and there sits this tray. On the tray is a couple stacks of large sized dixie cups and a little sign thats says "for water only."

Alright, by a show of hands how many of you wouldn't use one of those cups to get you some pop instead of water if you knew you where not being watched.

Yeah, I didn't think any of you would turn down that offer.

So I'm berating myself for actually paying for this drink when they make it so freakin easy to get it for free, hell they leave you the cups to do it just so you don't have to strain yourself by putting your mouth under the spiget.

For water only my ass.

Walking through the store I came across one simple little fact I miss by shopping later in the evening. During the regular day there is one of those free food demonstrations at the end of practicaly every aisle. Which was great at first because of the free food they serve even if its in only bite sizes. After a point it got on my last nerve because every time I passed a new aisle or came out of one, I had some old as dirt woman asking me if I would like to try this tasty treat today and oh if you want some here is a coupon/its on.

Though I got to wonder about these old woman and there memories. Test them out by getting baked and going to the store and go back often to each stand in hopes there memory so shit canned will not remember your face acter five minutes.

Tiny bits of muchies while getting some exercise from walking around the store all day.

Holy shit! I think I just created the new rave in dieting programs....

THE STONER WEIGHT LOSE PROGRAM!

Sure you will be snacking all day but on only tiny bites of food each time and you have to walk around a big ass store for several minutes before each bite! Just think about it man...its the new revolution in weight lose. Get really stoned, hit your groecery store in the daytime and work the demonstration tables!

Quick, find me the phone numbers of all the tabloid magazines....I'm going to make a fortune of this.

One of the demonstratoins sucked me like thousand dollar and hour hooker. A deal for a free gallon of milk if you buy four boxes of kellog's cereal, the makers of fruit loops.

Not only did you get the free gallon of milk, but the cereal was on sale.

Ok so after four boxes of fruit loops and a gallon of milk later, I finally got out of the clutches of the demonstration tables before I started buying wild cherry flavored bottled water.

As I'm walking away I see the bulk foods area and get a little curious and what they all had to offer.

Holy fuck balls! They sell Mike and Ike's in the bulk goods. My weakness has to be Mike and Ike's and orginal flavored starburst....ok, so those aren't my only weaknesses, but those are my sweat candy weaknesses.

I have been munching on those Mike and Ikes all day long and let me tell you my burps have never tasted so delicious. Which each regurgitation of gas, I get the sweet, sweet taste of the Mike and Ikes caressing my taste buds. Its like a special by one get one free kind of treat....which ultimately makes Mike and Ikes the supreme ruler of fruity candy in the world.

And for some reason, Mike and Ikes reminded me of the pain in the ass my head phones at home are. Both are missing the cushions because they ripped off, and one side is snapped in half and I can't seem to tape them together well enough to want to stay pressed against my head. So now I'm in the electronics area scouting out a new set of head phones which means some more money is being spent by me I didn't expect to be spending.

Yeah, but now I'm not always freaking out at my bitchy headphones rubbing my ears raw.

So I get that and since the bathroom aisle was conviently on my way to the cash register, I decided to pick up a few needed things especially since its on sale.

I think I just heard several hundred bargain hunters squeele in delight when I mention the word clearance.

I orginally went to Meijer to get three things. Use the ATM to get my cash, buy some soda, and pick up some fresh can of tobacco.

Instead I walked out of that store carrying nearly as many bags as I would when I go regular grocery shopping.

Not to mention my fucked up luck when I get there to find out they are completely out of cans of tobacco.

Yeah, that trip was really worth it...sure I'm happy now in Mike and Ike, Fruit Loops, and new headphones heaven, but I'm going to seriously regret it later when the cereal and the candy is gone and I'm scrounging for pennies just so I can get me a bottle of pop.

Eh fuck it....live in the moment I guess.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003