Five minutes into the show, it seems preaty intersting. Actually funny at times, which made the show just a bit more apealing. Then, I heard someone call one of the guys Ty and I'm like wait a minute here.....that name is really familiar.

Then it hit me....I'm watching freakin Trading Places!

Now I know where I heard that name before, Uncle Booby has talked enough about this show.

So, remembering him talking about some of the nasty rooms they have made on that show, and the looks on the faces of the people when subjected to it, I just had to watch the show and see this for myself.

Problem was, the rooms where actually preaty tastefull looking. Well, one of them was, the other one with its yellow paint looked not so good, but a fresh coat of paint and that room is good to go. So, no supressed rage or choking back the tears for either group of people, they both seemed to love there rooms. Well, one of the ladies looked more like she was smelling a particularly bad acid fart, but she CLAIMED she liked that show.

Damn it.....I want to see some blood shed ladies!

And Ty was actually preaty funny. Looks somewhat like a surfer, a hippy, and a skater punk slapped all together and made more tv friendly.

Damn it....i kind of liked him anyways.

And at the end of the show, I'm sitting there wondering when it is normally on. Then I can see one of these gawd awfully decorated rooms UB has mentioned. Then I can see the priceless looks on there face when they see the room that looks like a possesed Liberache projectile vomited everywhere.

oh no....say it aint so...say it aint so...

I'M FUCKING HOOKED ON TRADING PLACES!!!

Oh the humanity! Damn you Uncle Booby...damn you all to Rochester, New York!!!

I could blame Weetabix also because she has written about the show too, but how can you be cruel to that cute face??

So...back to cursing out Uncle Bob...

Damn you Uncle Booby you.......you.....you coffee table book writer!!!

Yeah, take that one slappy.

May your teeth fall out and you mistake them for a pile of chicklets!!

May you fart a loud, particualarly stanky fart in the middle of quiet prayer time in church!!

May your kid learn a new game called "lets see how much crap I can throw at daddy's balls"!

Damn you Uncle Bob.....

Ok, so I don't really have much to say other then that, and I'm having WAY to much fun cursing out Uncle Bob.

Well, ok, so I do have one more thing to talk about. The thing is.....this is a bit of a delicate topic. So be full warned ahead of time. Put your children in the other room, hide all your delicate china, and hold onto your panties tight cause here goes nothing.

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I think I broke my ass.

Of course, this requires a little back history to this tale.

It all starts with my living room chair, or as I affectionately reffer to it, "the chair that will inevitably kill me". Now it started off being a preaty good chair, ugly as hell, but very comfortable. Well, with all the abuse it has seen, and the fact it was already preaty old when I bought it. The chair is quickly degenerating into a giant cushioned, flower patterened covered piece of shit.

The padding in the back is wearing thin, and with this some of the coils are punching through the fabric. Of course, for reasons only known to Satan himself, every piece of furniture out there, the tips off all the coils must be aharp and jagged edged, so not only will it cut you, but it will also dig in to your skin in the most intersting ways.

So far, I have something like three springs poking out and scratching me on occasion. So as of late, I have had all these little scratch marks all over my back and on my neck. I finally came up with a solution to this when I covered the back of my chair with a thick sheet. It seems to do the trick.

Problem is, I shift around a lot in my chair in order to get comfortable. Because of this, I keep accidently tugging on the sheet tell it falls off the back of the chair and is bundled up under the cushion.

Well, I was sitting down in it earlier, and was not paying attention to the fact that the sheet was off the back of the chair. Well, I aparently sat down to hard and at some akward angle, because I felt one of the coils rip into the tender flesh of my ass.

YYYYEEEEOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Mother fuck, that stung like hell!

Well, I then began to bleed perfusely all over the sheet, tell I got my lazy ass up off my chair, went to the bathroom and cleaned it up. Now, everytime I sit down, I can feel a stinging in my ass where the cut is.

So...I broke my ass...and I blame that god damn chair.

And why don't I just sit somewhere else if my chair is that bad, you may ask.

Well first off, the couch is worse because its so stiff, that if I sit on it to long it kills my back. And I don't even want to get into how bad it is to sleep on.

Ok, so I am going to get into how bad it is to sleep on.

I have taken one nap on that couch the entire time I have had it. I didn't want to go lay in my bed because I knew if I did, I would sleep a lot longer then I really wanted to. So, a nap on the couch sounded like a good idea....tell I woke up that is. That couch fucked up my already fucked up back so much, I quite literaly couldn't get up off the couch. I had to roll off it onto the floor and lay on the hard floor tell my back stopped feeling like a team of elephants was doing the tango on it.

The only other place to sit in my living room is this tiny version of a cushioned chair.....thats missing the legs on it. So, getting into it is not so bad, but try and get out of that mofo is like mission impossible. You need to go to the bathroom...fuck it, wait tell you REALLY have to go, cause you are stuck in that chair for awhile.

So, my chair, as long as the sheet is on it, is my only alternative to being comfortable in my living room.

God, I'm in desperate need of some new furniture. I was supposed to get some new furniture, but it seems both possibilities fell out from under me.

So....anyone out there generious enough to wrap up a lazy boy and send it my way....heh.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003