Can you see a patteren there...

Though I don't seem to be the only caught in this shitty situation. Though I'm not sure I could live with just rabbit ears like Madame Fromage does, but then again I adviously watch a hell of lot more television then her just on the basis I actually take time to talk about it on here....heh, how sad is that.

Thanks to the kindness of Prego, the chick that doesn't taste like spaghetti sauce...heh, a little joke thrown in there for her. And thanks to Dragonhawke, I was given rides by them to get a few x-rays done.

To check my scoliousis, they ahd to take a few x-rays to see how curved it is, if its creating any other structral problems with my body.

So, Prego and Dragonhawke about mid day to pick me, and whats the first thing I see in there car. A box of kitty liter sitting in the back seat, filled.

Er, what the hell is this?

Alright, first off I'll tell you they have two kittnes they had brought with them when they moved from Florida. They had the kittnes being taken care by a friend while they awaited there apartment to open up, staying with Dragonhawke's mother tell that time. When they finaly got there apartment awhile ago, they found a no pets clause in the lease. Despite this the cats have been living in there apartment because finacialy speaking, it wasn't possible for someone else to take care of the kittens for them. Since then, they ahve been desperately trying to find a home for this kittens before it causes problems with there land lords.

Just thought you should know this because they actually do have kittens. Not just some sick desire to drive around with a filled box of kitty litter in the backseat of there car.

Well, before they picked them up, they where trying to do the last resort they have around here. Which is to drive out in the farm country and drop them off in front of a working farm.

Which happens often with cats and dogs around here because the humanane society here charges money for them to take a cat or dog that you own. Which is a loose term by there description since the moment you let this cat or dog into your car or home, they consider you offically own it.

Well they tried dropping it off in the farm land, but it broke Prego's heart so much, that the turned around and picked them right back up.

So, when they got to me, they had all the cat's stuff in the back of the car along with both of them wondering around inside.

Ok, that turned out to have some unsuspecting problems when me and Prego where driving around. Now adviously we knew they would get fidgety at times, try and move around in the car and get in the way. Little did I know that would be the minor problem.

As me and Prgo where driving back into town, after we dropped Dragonhawke off at work, I looked back to see what the kittnes where doing. Thats when I noticed that one of the kittens was climbing into the liter box.

Small, cramped little space with the liter box within arms reach and the cats taking a shit....not good.

ME: Aw shit, one of the kittens is taking a dump.

Prego Which one is it?

ME: Uh, its Dragonhawke's kitten.

Prego: Oh, well that one takes some really nasty smelling shits.

She wasn't kidding folks. The first wave of the stink in the car....correction, that was a smell so funky it deserves to be called stank.

So the stank overwhelms me like some middle eastern biological weapon. My eyes watered, my nasal cavities clogged, and I nearly gagged.

GOOD GOD THE SMELL!!! OH SWEET JESUS, THE HUMANITY...OH THE HUMANITY!!!

My god people, I have not been witness to a worse smell since Spanky's Savanah Monitor shit/pissed in his apartment. I'm not kidding when the smell was so overwhelming that I nearly gagged, and I'm telling you this right now, chinese food DOES NOT taste better coming then going down.

Out of desperation, I cracked the window and pressed my mouth to the opening, greedly sucking in fresh air as like a passenger on the titantic finding a tiny pocket of air left.

As I'm sucking for that sweet sweet fresh air, I have to quiestion what the fuck do they feed that kitten?? My best guess by the smell, I would have to say dead bodies and raw sewage.

Alright, so I go to the hopsital and get the x-rays I needed to get, but was slightly dreading doing. So I go up the service desk and hand them my paper work, then I go outside and have a cigarette. By time I got done with that, walked inside and was just about to sit down, my name was called.

Gotta love small towns for the fact you don't have to wait hours to get help.

First off, I am taken to this room that has a few partioned areas. Sitting there giving the person my information to typine in my computer, I was a bit taken back when I was asked "religious prefrence?".

Uh....what the fuck?

Aparently this could be important in the future for some people, I just didn't realize how important it is, seeing as its a standard quiestion when asked the basic essential imformation. I figured she wasn't looking for some long philosphical debate on this, I just say none.

After I'm done with that, I am sent to x-ray and once again am sitting in a waiting room watching tv. Thankfully I didn't have a long wait.

Things going my way...how........odd.

So I'm put in a room to get naked and slip on one of there robes. Now here is a complication I ahve with there robes, they are to damn small. So I'm forced to wear one to cover my front, and a second one to cover my back.

Ok, no complication arises from this. You see, I seem to have etremely wide shoulders and really big upper arms. So first off I'm struggling to get the sleeves over my upper arms, and with that being tight and the gowns being WAY to small for my shoulder with, I stood there starring at me in the mirror not sure if I should laugh or cry.

With it all being so tight like that, I quite literally couldn't drop my arms at my sides. So I'm standing there in these two gowns, my arms stuck in a postion that makes me look like some fucked up hospitalized crucified Jesus. Thats how far down I could move my arms, just below my shoulder level.

This is about when my geekdom shines like a light house in the middle of the storm. I pulled an incredible hulk move, leaning forward and flexing my muscles.

RRRRRIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPP

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW!!!

It ripped in the back enough so it wasn't so tight on my shoulders, and I could actually drop my arms down to a much more normal looking pose. Though it still was to tight on one side, so it kept my arms in a postion as if I'm in the try outs of world strongest man.

So after a half hour of being flipped around on a very cold table while my body was filled with radiation, I was finally done and over with this.

I do have to say, the guy who did my x-rays, I couldn't of had a better person to do it. He was an older, gentle toned, kindly deamenored man. He was very polite and reasuring, very aware of my needs and my fears and soothing them very properly....

oh my fucking lord, I sound like a teenage girl describing her first time having sex.

As a an end to this entry, I shall bring forth the new fad that shall spread like wild fire across this nation.

That or me and my friends will be just big geeks and be the only ones doing it.

I like to call it, the slacker high five.

Now it starts off like a regular high five, you raise your hand up and get ready. Only when its up there you just drop your arm while mumbling "eh, fuck it. I'll do it later" or some other fashionable slacker quote if you might.

So if you see a group of people and one of them calls out "slacker high five" and does that very thing, let it be known I am the one who invented that...heh

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003