"Heh heh Self-improvement is masturbation."

Fight Club

So, Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back is out...and you want to know what....I LOST MY FUCKING RIDE TO GO SEE IT!!!!!

*sits there and grumbles heavily under his breath, punctuating enough foul language to make a trucker blush*

It seems his brakes are so bad he doesn't dare take the trip this weekend. I personaly thought he had gotten them fixed already, but it turns out its going to cost him something like six hundred dollars to get his brakes fixed, and he can't afford that right now. GOD DAMN IT!!!!!!!!! Well this wouldn't be a problem if he took better care of his car, like take it in for regular check ups and shit. And when you got a problem with your car, don't drive it tell it breaks, get it taken care of toot sweet. I mean come on, you wait tell its broken, or you just can't drive it anymore, it means you fucked your car up so much its going to cost you even more to fix it. And I know he has had the money to have this taken care of before it was a major problem, he just doesn't seem to want to take care of it.

So, now everyone and there dead grandmother or going to see this film before I ever will. Hell, Anenigma has already seen the damn film. And I just fucking know that Gawain is going to jump online some day soon, and is going to brag about how he has seen the film and how great it is and boo hoo you haven't seen it yet you poor, psychotic bastard.blah blah blah......I just know I'm going to want to bitch slap him tell next November over this one......god damn it!

Hell, I bet even fucking Uncle Booby is going to see this film before I do, despite not showing any interst in seeing it in his diary entries. It will be just my fucking luck he will, then go on a full ass entry bragging about how good it was and giving examples of why it did........god damn it!!!!

do you sense the bitter agnst I'm expressing here yet!?!?

if not......lean closer.....

.....

just a wee bit closer.....

.....

thats it...a little closer.....

.....

YOU'RE GOD DAMN RIGHT I'M ONE VERY FUCKING PISSED MOFO YOU GOD DAMN CRACK HEAD!!!!!!!

*visibly tries to settle himself down, deep breaths*

Ok.sorry I lost it there.....and sorry I insulted yeah all coughcandyassescoughcough.....heh heh kidding.

So, I'm hell....and I can't even go see John Carpenter's Ghost of Mars as a alternative pic........

FUCK YOU GKC THEATERS!!!! YOU BUNCH OF SHIT FLINGING COCK MONKEYS!!! IF I GET THE CHANCE I'M GOING TO COME TO OUR FUNERAL AND PISS ON YOUR GRAVE, THEN I'M GOING TO FUCK YOUR WIFE RIGHT ON YOUR COFFIN THEN I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOUR DOG AND BURN YOUR GOD DAMN HOUSE DOWN!!!!! AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*pant pant*

whoa.....I really lost it on that one didn't I....... ok where is that prozac IV drip I ordered....

Well, how about we talk about something a little less agravating before I completly snap and grab me a shotgun and take out a piggly wiggly.

Ok, so there is no Piggly Wiggly anywhere in a hundred mile radius of me. But Piggly Wiggly sure as shit sounds a lot more funny then Shell station or Wesco.

Well, on a brighter note, my friend Spanky is taking me to see a movie next thursday, Rush Hour 2, then get us some pizza and buy me a cd. Its sorta pay back for all the meals he has had with me and other shit I just can't remember. But getting the CD was my idea....

CHROME: Hey Spanky, you got a job!?!?!

SPANKY: Yeah man, I started last week, I'll be getting a check some time in the next week.

CHROME: Well, in that case, buy me a god damn CD Beyootch!!

SPANKY: Sure.

Whoa, that was a hell of a lot easier then I thought. You see, when it comes to money with Spanky, getting any out of him is about as easy as squeezing a fart out of a woman. A lot more effort then its worth. So now I just have to figure out what of a few dozen CD's I've been drooling to get I'm going to pick......dicusions, dicusions.

Ok, here is something I thought was kinda funny....check it out for yourself...

Merriam-Webster's Online Coliegiate Dictionary's definition of masturbation.

Main Entry: mas�tur�ba�tion

Pronunciation: "mas-t&r-'bA-sh&n

Function: noun

Date: 1766

: erotic stimulation especially of one's own genital organs commonly resulting in orgasm and achieved by manual or other bodily contact exclusive of sexual intercourse, by instrumental manipulation, occasionally by sexual fantasies, or by various combinations of these agencies.

Now aint that just some romantic shit.......makes yeah wanna run out and spank the monkey doesn't it kiddies!!

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003