I don't think I'm a sell out but I do 'Enjoy Coke!'"

Bloodhound Gang, The Inevitable Return of the Great White Dope

So another exciting night in a small bar crammed full of people listening to live music. Spanky, my bass playing friend, with his band called "Stone(d) Hog" *the D is in quiestion, half the band likes it there, the other half hate it*.

Fun as usual,but really, really loud. You would think I'd learn to not sit with in ten feet of the speakers, but judging by the ringing in my ears, I'm a slow learner.

Before I got to the bar, I stopped by a party store at the corner of my block. As I was waiting for the cashier to get me a pack of cigarettes, I noticed the "your birthdate must be on this date or earlier during this year in order to purchase alchol." Looking at that sign made me realize that I'm starting to get up there in age. Not feeling old precisely, but begining to feel like I'm getting to the stages to be called "old man". I realized this when I looked at it and seen that in order to be old enough to by alchol now, you don't even have to be born in the same decade as me. Now it was a bit of a shock, but I didn't really freak out over this. I mean I'm still only in my mid twenties here, the prime of my youth. I don't think I will even freak out that much when I turn thirty years old. Yeah I'm probably going to get a bit contemplative and obsesse a bit on where the hell my life is going by that age, but not truely freak out. I'll tell you the year I'll really freak out. The year I"m bumped out of that glorious '18 to 34' age bracket on insurance forms. Then I'll be in the '35 to 55' age bracket, mingled in with the "begining to be a true old fucker" group. Then I'm predicting I will have my mid life crisis, buy a sports car to compensate for all my short comings, and try and act hip and cool to the kids so I can get a bit of that "teenager but now legal" bootay.

but anyways...

Though, as I said, this bar is a bit small so in order to squeeze in alll five members of the band and all the equipment, they had to place Spanky and the rythme guiartist on top of the pool table behind the band. Aparently they where used to this, because they had a big piece of plywood to cover the table up for just such an occasion. Was a bit strange seeing them up there at about the drummer's head level. Hell, they where close enough they could have dropped kicked the drummer right in the head if he fucked up.

Now, I came there prepared not to see to many people in the bar this night. I was informed by Spanky that a birthday party/gig was playing in the bar down the street. And a block away a band from Detroit was playing, which is a very long drive to come play a gig.

Suprisingly the place was packed to the gills most of the night. Which meant me sitting at the tables right in front of the band, I had asses shaking in my face practically night since that area was also the dance floor.

Ok, so it wasn't ALL bad if you get my drift, I think you do.

If you don't you are shit out of luck and need to get out of your house more often.

During this gig I had to do a double take when I saw this preaty blonde walk in cause I swear she looked just like Helen Hunt, but with thick,black framed glasses.

She was purty yuck yuck.

Now I found myself sneaking looks at her all night because of the striking resembelence to Helen Hunt, that and she was preaty hot. Though I was trying to avoid being the "creepy, staring guy" which is a bit hard NOT to be that guy when all sorts of woman are shaking there ass right at your eye level.

I swear if I was more of a ass man I would have been in heaven, because at times thats all I could see. Thankfully all of them where female asses. Nothing worse then checking out the fine ass of a long hair only to find out its a guy.

"Oh hhhhhheeeeeyyyyyyyyyy would you look at that, she got a nice a........hey wait a minute! Thats a fucking guy!"

*five hours later after some impromptu brain surgery in the bathroom and vigoursly rubbing a steel wool pad over my frontal lobe."

There I'm much better.

When the gig was over, and the band was breaking down all the equipment, some good natured ribbing occured. Now I have heard about this story with the drummer and this lady I have seen at several gigs all night.

Now here is a bit of the story. A few weeks back ago, the drummer took a shine for this lady but didn't want to go up to here and talk. Well Spanky finally convinced him to talk to her by harrassing the living shit out of him. All went well it seemed, talks of meeting up during the week, definete "see you at the next gig" vibes.

Alright, we come up to this week when I hear that the drummer is dieing to get this lady out of his life. Seems he kind of liked her, but not enough to date. What didn't help was one night her and a few friends invited themselves over to his place. A few drinks later he finds her getting in her pajamas then crawling into his bed when he wasn't looking. He is pissed off, but not willing to send her off after having a few drinks. So he crashes out on the couch mumbling and grumbling to himself. A few minutes later, she comes shambling out of his bedroom in what is percieved in a cute manner and asks him whats wrong. He tells her, "look, I like you but not in that way, I only want to be friends." With a tear streaming down her face, she packs up her stuff and takes off.

Now just a little disclaimer, this isn't your typical guy thing of "fuck her then ditch her." He hasn't even had a date with her, let alone get into her panties.

Apparently before this night he had told her "I just want to be friends" and she was cool with it. But despite having two kids, was at every gig they played and was over to many of there rehersals. Which normally wouldn't be a problem if it didn't have that creepy "stalker/fanatical groupie" feel to it.

Personally that night I happened to see her checking out his ass when he was singing a solo song not in front of the drum set. And a few others I know saw her getting a bit close to him in a more then "friendly" fashion.

Now the drummer, a bit hot headed and stubborn at times, is a preaty good guy. So he has no clue what to do about this because he doesn't want to hurt her feelings. Which personaly I can sympathize with the man. Though that didn't stop me from cracking a few jokes at his expense at the end of the night.

It was a good night had by all....but the drummer.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003