Denis Leary, Elvis and I

I have thought of a fun diary someone could keep...sort of inspired by the Uncle Booby/Brad Pit diary.

A celebrity web page, where the celebrity is the one who is speaking. Only my celebrity idea would be a very popular cinema character.

RAIN MAN

Just think of the potential of fun you can have with this....so many people are quite familiar with the Rain Man character and how he speaks, so it would be easy for them to conjure the words being said in a "Rain Man" style of speech.

Oh the merth that would insue...

RAIN MAN: Yeah, definetly gotta does this diary yeah yeah....def-definetly gotta lay the shit douwn yeah yeah Kmart sucks...

Yeah yeah, def-definetly was doing her in her butt..yeah yeah.....ten minutes to Wopner...yeah definetly have to spurt up her butt soon yeah yean...nine minutes and thirty five seconds tell Wopner...yeah yeah....oh I'm spent yeah definetly...definetly spent yeah...Kmart sucks.

Oh and the fun doesn't end there....how about Rain Man voices his opinion on a few things.

Rain Man on...

Celebrities:

Tom Green: Yeah, def...definetly more fucked in the head then me yeah yeah....his show sucks yeah...

Jenifer "JLo" Lopez: Yeah def...definetly got a big booty....yeah...yeah..definetly a slut yeah.....Puffy sucks yeahyeah...I want that big bad booty yeah *flips out and begins smacking his head repeatedly tell he gets a piece of that ass*

Stone Cold Steve Austin: Yeah..def-definetly open a fresh pack of whoop ass yeah....yeah...what?..yeah...definetly what...yeah..Kurt Angle sucks...yeah *pisses on gold medals

Politics:

September 11th: Yeah defin..definetly going to kick there ass yeahyeah...definetly need a shower yeahyeah......terrorist sucks Kmart's dick yeah yeah...

Legalization of Marjihuana: Yeah definetly could smoke a bowl yeah yeah....ten minutes tell four twenty yeah yeah......skunk weed sucks yeah...

George Bush Jr.: Yeah I-I-I-I definetly fucked him yeah yeah....made him my prison bitch yeah.....*rapidly jacks off over a copy off over a copy of Weekly World News*

And the fun doesn't stop there, how about a celebrity guest on the occasional entry.

Like.....A late eighties very angry Tom Cruise..

Tom Cruise: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! *flashes his big grin, half of america's straight woman's hearts sink into there panties*

Rain Man: Yeah..def-definetly need to switch to decaf Tom yeah yeah to strung out yeah yeah....

Tom Cruise: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!! NOW COUNT CARDS FOR ME AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! Oh look, a quarter sitting right here on the ground *bends over with legs straight, gyrating his butt to the camera. The other half of America's straigh woman's hearts drop some where in there ass. A sentence echoed all across america by homophobic hetro males, "pffffttttttt he's gay!"*

Rain Man: Yeah yeah..definetly gay....yeah....have to wear a butt plug to bed yeah yeah...who's on first, butts not second base yeah yeah.

Ok, so it would only be funny for awhile tell you grow completely sick of the constant, "yeah yeah definetly" bit.

Though I probably should have looked on diary land to see if there is an already existing rainman.diaryland.com diary on here.

Of course, with my luck, there is already a Rain Man diary on here. Thats great, once again I come up with a brilliant idea that was already put into place.

This reminds me of this time I came up with a very flavorfull condement.......its made of crushed tomatos with some water......damn what did i call it......you could spray it over your cheese burgers on your hot dogs.....damn what the hell did I call that thing.....you could dip your french fries in it or cover your eggs in it.......oh yeah, now I remember what I called it. I called it Blood of the Tomato Topping(TM)

Of course its remarkably a LOT like ketchup.....damn big business, damn you all to hell!!

Spanky brought over the most fucking weird thing I have seen in awhile. It was a little four cup serving thing of milk, but the container was designed to look like a gallon of milk.

So you got this familiar shape that you are used to seeing a lot bigger and holding more milk, now minaturized for a carry around drink.

How fucking weird/cool/cute is that!

It so fucking disgustingly cute I don't know what to do with myself. I kept starring at this tiny carton that look SO much like a gallon milk but sent through the Willy Wonka Wonkavision.

I felt like standing up with it clutched in my head, walking around making Godzilla like noises while stomping on pizza boxes as if they where man made building while saying in a deep voice "Look at me I'm so huge! I could crush you puny mortals HAR HAR HAR! Your milk can barely sustain my thirst *downs tiny "gallon" of milk* Do you not see how might I am! I am HUGE MAN with tiny little thing of milk!"

Then again it probably didn't help I was severly baked out of my skull so things where just a little to weird and real at the same time.

Listen up kids....don't smoke pot and hold minature versions of anything. You might start believing you are fifty foot tall woman/man and try stomping Tokyo into splinters.

Some one mentioned how handy it would be to take on a picnic in the woods or by the lake.

Though I think if you are going to, *still fried out of my skull* you should have everything else be minature versions of normal stuff. Like a tiny bottle of ketchup, mustard, and mayo. With tiny little plates and untensils will tiny servings of food so you can feel like the more human looking spawn of the Jolly Green Giant picnicing on what would amount to us humans as "a Texas sized piece of land".

Damn, the shit I think of when I'm stoned...

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003