How the hell did you know I was drunk???

*looks up at the title of the entry*

Oh yeah....heh heh that makes more sense...I thought you all where psycho for a second there....or is that phsycic...hell if I know right now.

So, tonight Spanky my bass playing friend and his band Stone Hog played a gig tonight. Now I went there with only enough money to buy me a package of cigarettes because I didn't feel like making enough cigarettes for the four and some hours long show. So I figured any kind of drink other then water was out of the quiestion.

But you gotta love friends who buy pichers...

So Dragonhawke and his wife Prego *which you probably seen her name in my guestbook before* bought a picher of beer. Prego wasn't drinking....cause adviously she's pregnent. We don't call her Prego cause she tastes like spaghetti sauce.

hahah oh god, I slay me.

Ok, so they played a bar called the Crows Nest thats about two blocks away from me. Great show, they where totatly rocking out the bar. I swear if that place was packed anymore I would have been able to taste someone thats how much they where packed in there.

Did that make any sense to you cause I maybe drunk but even to me that was a lame joke....

So there I am sitting with Willow when Dragonhawke and Prego walk in the door...finally. Seems ol' Drago there forgot that the gig was on, so they where a bit late.

Well at first we couldn't sit together because me and Willow where seated in the front and every seat around us was packed. Thankfully some slackers sitting to the left of me felt my my Jedi mind tricks working...

ME: *waves hands like Obi One and shit* you will move the fuck away.

Slackers: We will move the fuck away.

ME: Buy me a beer...

Slackers: Buy me a beer...

ME: No, I said buy ME a beer, not you.

Slackers: Like I said...buy me a beer.

Ok, so my Jedi mind tricks need a little work.

So Dragonhawke and Prego sit next to me and they have a pitcher of beer and Drago, the good buddy he is, let me partake heavily in that pitcher and the next one after that. So, about twelve beers later, I'm feeling preaty damn good. So good I'm singing at the top of my lungs along with the band with every song of theres I know. And let me tell you, I think I know them alll.....or at least I can fake it hah!

Oh yeah, I had to go get the second pitcher of beer since I wasn't actuallly paying for any of it, I had to go fetch it. Which was a good thing I went because the bartender likes me, she digs my groove. So I walk up to the bar which is three people deep, I catch her eye and raise the pitcher up calling out for Budweiser. So she reaches through all the people and fills my pitcher before helping out anyone else. Not only that, in order so she didn't have to reach through the crowd again and give me the change, she gave me fifty cents off the pitcher.

Rock on....I love discounts on my beer.

So the beer gives me a happy buzz going on.... I'm feeling relaxed. I'm singing along with the songs and I'm doing some premium chair dancing.

I grove like noon other in the chair baby... you must respect my mad skills at chair dancin' aiight!!

Well, seeing as I'm close friends with the bass player, I always get to stick around in the bar way after hours as they break down there gear and loud them up in the trucks. This turned out to be VERY benficial since it was the lead guitarist's birthday. Because of that and the fact the bartender just loves the living shit out of the band, she gave out two free shots to everyone there.....including me.

And what did I choose as my shot....I'll tell yeah, just hold your panties and don't let them twist up cause those fuckers ride up the butt something fierce....

or so I've heard.

Well I decidied since I had a good buzz going, lets make this a REALLY good buzz and lets make those shots Jegermeister.

I have no fucking clue if I spelled that right...especially since I can't do those little dots on the top of the letters.

Damn german words and there kooky dots.

That bartender was VERY genorous with those free shots. Had to been a double shot each...preaty sure it was more then that. So I slammed two hefty double shots of Jegermeister in less then five minutes....on top of the buzz of those twelve beers.

Oh, did I mention that i also smoked some really mean easy hitting green with Spanky before the show.

Oh yeah....I'm preaty fucked up right now.

So now I"m thinking I need some sleep....BUT what I really want right now is a half naked woman crawling all over me and calling me Big Daddy.

heh, bet you didn't really want to know that now did you.

I had more to mention on here, but being fuckered up has made it REALLY hard to remember.

Now just one last thing to do folkes...but you gotta get closer to hear me....

No no...closer....nope, a bit closer then that....thats good. Now let me tell you a little secret.

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I LOVE YOU!!!

No seriously...I love you all so much right now I could weep like Jerry Farwell begging for all of your money.

Now....FIRMEMBRACE!!!

Yeah thats it.....oh sorry, didn't mean to cop a feel on yeah...heh heh

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003