Whoa, that was a lot of freakin linking.

I'm not sure what all this will intales, only time will tell. With my luck it will probably mean I see all the behind the scenes of Diaryland Classics, but you won't see one iota of my work on there.

har har allways the optimist aint I.

Of course a complication arises from the fact all of them seem to be day time posters where I'm up at the wee hours of the morning, hanging around the internet like some geeky stalker. So keeping up comunications should be intersting figuring all my messages to them will be several hours after they went to bed.

Oh why couldn't one of them at least have been Australian....I mean, then that person could be a day time person, but it would be at night for me. Then at least one of them would be posting roughly the same time as me.

Then again I could always try and find some time during the day to do this work.....but fuck that. Day time and computers to me just don't mix well together.

Oh this whacky Michigan weather, you just gotta love it.

Ok, maybe you don't have to love it. In fact if Michigan weather had a neck I would be ringing it like Homer Simpson does to Bart.

It went from being hot enough to melt the curly hairs off my nutsac to raining like a mofo with cold ass winds. Went to bed sweating my ass off, woke up freezing my balls off.

I swear, my poor ass and balls really go through some serious troubles. I really should look into some homiopathic therapy for them, maybe some insurance....that or I'm just really going to have to keep a large supply of duct tape around.

I blame Canada for all this cold ass weather...

Yeah, you heard me right. I'm blaming those ice hokey playing, maple surp eating, curling watching canucks.

It seems everytime I watch the weather and I see a cold front coming at us, its ALWAYS coming down from Canada and crossing over lake Michigan. Like today when we had one thunderstorm pass over us and then following right behind it another one. Over and over again this happened from late in the day to around midnight or so.

I'm thinking Canadians have developed a weather controlling machine and are sending cold fronts down at us cause secretly they hate us americans, us michiganers most of all cause we sound so much like them.

Damn canucks and there weather controlling machines.

I swear late at night if you listen closely enough at the borders, you can hear them all sharpening there ice skates to come across the great lakes for an invasion.

You heard it here folks...don't trust Canadians, they are out to steal our ample supply of cherrys, christmas trees, and cheese.

And I wouldn't be suprised if they where here to take all our cushiony toilet paper cause its gotta be rough wiping your ass with maple leafs. I may be wrong, but I'm guessing maple leafs aren't very obsorbent.

So, we need to watch out for signs of these Canadians invading our country cause they are a sneaky bunch of sumabitches. I mean they do look and sound a lot like us.

Alright, I have compiled a list of things to watch out for to spot a Canadian invader in disgiuse. A crack team of criminal profilers, psychologists, and people who have seen the movie Fargo more times then they have had hot monkey lovin. (Yes, I'm fully aware that Fargo is in North Dakota, but have you seen that movie? It seems like they all live in Canada)

1. Watch for a person who substitues there u's in there words with o's.

Example 1:

American Whats that all about?

Canadian Whats that all aboot?

Example 2:

American Time out.

Canadian Time oot.

2 Canadians will have a tendacy to end all there sentences with the letter a, there voices raising at the end of the sentence to make that letter a sound like a quiestion.

Example:

Hey there buddy, wanna shoot a game of pool a?

3. Look for shit stains on there jockeys....as I said, I don't think maple leafs are very absorbent.

4. If the chance arises, make breakfeast for the suspected Canadian invader. Make waffles or pancakes only, then place on the table a jar of maple syrup and a regular jaro of syrup. If the suspect reaches for the maple syrup, snag that bastard cause he/she is Canadian!

5. Turn on a hokey game with the suspected Canadian invader in the room then go on and on about how Wayne Gretsky sucked when he was with Toronto. If the person goes psycho because of this, there you have it, that person is a Canadian!

6. Watch the suspect for putting large amounts of mayonase on EVERYTHING they eat.

7. Scream out "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!" if the suspects reacts negatively towards this comment, then you got yourself a Canadian on your hands.

8. For spotting a more specific type of Canadian, the border patrol Canadians. If the suspect seems to have a tendacy of doing a full cavity search on you because you have long hair and look "suspicious"....squeeze your cheeks tight my friends cause you are in the midst of the Canadian border patrol.

9. Tell the suspect that Michael J. Fox is a talentless midget. Cover your sensitive bits and be prepared for a ravaging cause you got a Canadian ready to whip your candy ass.

10. Head to a local emergency room and look for any irate patients who claim there country funded insurance should cover there bill. Watch out...Canadian on the lose!

Well, I hope this list will help you save our great country from the up coming invasion. And remeber folks, they may look friendly, but if you quiestion there love for curling, they are a vicious bunch of mofos.

This rant about Canadians is brought to you by the fine people of Mexico. And remember there new motto, "We won't invade you, don't hurt us please."

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003