Ok, maybe thats being a wee bit over dramatic, but it sucks anyway you look at it.

This all started when I got a advertisment flier from my cable company informing everyone in this area that we are getting digital cable.

Sounds fucking fantastic....at first anyways.

To start off, they are adding sixteen new channels to the regular advanced cable package. Most of them suck, but at least I'm getting the cartoon network finally. One of these channels that sucks ass is a channel dedicated to golf, apropriatley named the golf channel.

Ok, what mother fucker thought this would be a good idea??

I can just imagine the thought process behind this brain child.

Gee, I really need to get more naps in during the week, but I can only seem to get a good nap in on sundays. I wonder why that is........hey wait a minute!! I know what it is, its the soothing, quiet voices of the announcers during golf tournments. Well golly gee, isn't it to bad I can only have that to nap to on sundays. Say hey, what if I made a channel thats all about golf?!? Then I can have my nap ANY TIME I WANT TO!!

Thanks asshole, now I'm paying more for my cable because you can't nap without watching grown men slap a ball around large fields of grass.

Speaking of which, thanks to this upgrade in the cable, the cable I have right now will be going up an additional eight and half dollars a month.

This royaly pisses me off, and here is why it does. About three years ago, this cable company was called Cable Vision, a small branch of cable companys around michigan. Well for some reason they sold the business to another company, which proceded to up the price of cable a few bucks to make up for all the money they spent buying cable vision out.

Then, a couple months later THEY sold the business to Charter Communications, which also upped the cable bill a few bucks to make up for the money THEY spent to buy out these cable companys.

And with these new companys, there have been added extra charges to the bill for taxes and other shit, so its even higher then they claim it to be.

Ok, to add salt to the wound, Charter decided it wasn't fucking us in the ass hard enough. So they legal disowned all cable lines in every home up to five feet away from the house. Then, the charged you an "insurance" rate for those cable lines in your house. So you have the choice of paying yet another few more dollars on your cable bill, or run the risk of the cable in your house turning to shit and being forced to pay an electrician to do the work.

God damn mother fucking money grubbing bitches.

Alright, so my advanced cable bill, not even including movie channels, went up to about thirty five bucks a month from twenty bucks a month in a matter of three years. Now add on another eight and half dollars on top of that.

Ok, so that covers channels 2 through seventy six and channel ninety nine on the cable system. Now if you want the other channels, you have to rent a cable box which is an additional seven dollars a month.

Ah, but here's yet another steel tipped kicked to the nads. If you had movie channels before the change over to digital cable, get ready to watch your cable bill shoot through the roof.

In order to have movie channels on the "new and aproved" charter cable, you have to have the digital cable box, so you can't dodge out on that extra cash. Then, you have to choose a "PLEX", which is a package deal of all the channels of one of the major movie channels. Like HBO has normal HBO and family HBO and so on and so forth. Well, if you want HBO at all, you have to get all the HBO's with it. So if you don't want family HBO, fuck you, you get them all or you get none of them. Each "PLEX" runs roughly thirteen dollars a month.

Now here is what REALLY pisses me the fuck off, but I don't have much ground to stand on with this one since its sort of "ahem* illegal.

You see, I have movie tubes for HBO, Skinemax, Showtime, and Encore. With the "new and aproved" charter cable, those tubes will no longer work.

So in order to keep all the movie channels I have now, I'll have to pay an additional fifty nine dollars a month, and that doesn't even include the price hike of advanced cable price.

God fucking damn it!!! I'm no longer going to have any movie channels. I can't afford even one of those mother fucking PLEXs. I mean it would rock to have digital cable, especially since I'll then have a fucking shit load of channels on top of it. Including something that hasn't been in this area in over ten years, a porno channel. Well actually it will be four porno channels, judging by the flier.

So now I have four tubes I paid eight bucks for that are only good for about two more weeks. The only reconciliation I can get from this is the fact Prego has a friend who gets charter cable, but lives out so far she will not be getting digital cable so her cable won't be changing. So, if I want my money back, I can probably sell them to her.

But I won't have any more fucking movie channels!!!

No more taxi cab confessions on HBO. No more Jermiah on Showtime. No more soft core porn on late night Skinemax. No more.....er old movies on encore *shrugs* ok that one I won't miss so much.

No more saving money on movie rentals by waiting for the movie to come on one of the channels.

Ok, so I sat down and punched all the numbers to figure out how much money it would cost if you got all the deals from Charter communications. Advanced cable, digital cable box, all four Plex's, the highest speed cable modem they have *another new introduction to our cable about a month ago*. All this together will make your cable bill just shy of two hundred dollars a month.

MOTHER FUCKER THATS FUCKING CRAZY!!!

I know people who make car payments for about that much a month.

Sure, you got nine hundred channels, about thirty of them or so are movie channels. Sure you got porno channels here now, plus we finally got pay-per-view. Sure you got a bunch of kick ass music channels. And sure you will be racing through the internet at light speed, but this is all so fucking ridiculous.

And they can get away with charging such high prices and you want to know why?

CAUSE THERE THEY ONLY MOTHER FUCKING CABLE COMPANY WE HAVE ACCESS TO!!!

Thats right, they hold a complete monoply on the cable in this county. They can charge such inflated prices cause there is no competition to worry about. Your only other option is to go satelite, which is a mother fucking pain in the ass when there is a storm going on, not to mention you don't get any of the regular channels like NBC and shit on satelite.

So right now, Charter Communications is bending over every cable customer in this area over and dry fucking them with a broom handle with tons of ass splinters sticking out of it.

Thats why Prego has a fan-fucking-tastic idea going on. Write up a petition to Time Warner or another of the large companys that does cable, and beg them to open shop in town. Give Charter some competition. And I can tell you now, the way I have been seeing people re-act to the price hikes of the cable bill coming next month, there will be a ton of fucking people switching companies if that happens.

Right now I know of several dozen people who are looking into going satelite, and bad weather be damned. Cause I've seen the price for the gold package *about twenty or more movie channels" for satelite, and its coming out to be cheaper then the normal advanced cable price here and thats WITHOUT fucking movie channels.

Mother fucker I'm seriously pissed about this. My cable bill was high a fucking enough. Not to mention how many poor people there are around here who where struggling to pay there cable bill already. Thanks to this, Charter Communications is going to lose a few hundred customers cause they either can't afford there cable prices anymore, or are just very pissed off and are getting satelite.

If anyone who works for Time Warner reads this diary *stops to laugh heartily over that one* send me a mother fucing e-mail and I'll work out a petition to show you how many people want you to come here.

God damn mother fucking Charter Comunications can suck my mother fucking dick!!!!

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003