Monty: COME IN!

Dexter: My god, you have gotten so lazy you don�t even bother getting up to answer the door.

Monty: Yeah yeah, I�ve taken my laziness to a all new level. Next week, I�m thinking of hiring me a maid just so she can hand me the out of reach shit.

Dexter: I wouldn�t put it past you to do it.

Monty: Specially if she is wearing one of those french uniforms with the seamed, black stockings.

Dexter: And of course after you have made, as you say, hot monkey love to her. Thats when you find out she used to be a man.

Monty: Oh, ouch, talk about ruining a fantasy for me.

Dexter: Well it is clearly stated in my job contract you know.

Monty: Whatever dude, so why are you here so early?

Dexter: I wanted to see what you where doing this weekend.

Monty: Well I was thinking of hitting the movies, maybe stop by the arcade. Maybe read a book this weekend, you know, just relax.

Dexter: Yeah, what are you REALLY going to do this weekend?

Monty: *stares at Dexter for a minute* .... You found out Jackson is back in town didn�t you?

Dexter: I have my sources.....mostly I ran into him at Starbucks. Do you still have that grudge with him?

Monty: This is a vengeance even death won�t settle.

Dexter: So he pissed in your beer, that was five years ago. Disgusting, yes, but nothing to hold a grudge for so long.

Monty: He didn�t piss in my beer....

Dexter: Wait, thats what you always told me. Then why the hell do you hold this grudge then.

Monty: You remember that party we had on our dorm floor with those kegs and that wet T-shirt contest?

Dexter: Oh yeah, who could forget the site of Betty McCarthy in a wet, white T-shirt, bouncing around the dorm....hhhhmmm fond memories.

Monty: Well anyways, it seems ol� Jackson there caught me hitting on his girlfriend....

Dexter: It figures you would do something like that.

Monty: Well I didn�t know it was his girlfriend. They had only been together for three days. Anyways, I guess he got piss drunk and damn pissed about it, but didn�t want to confront me about it and look an asshole in front of her. So, instead he took a big shit in my bed then

covered it up with my blankets.

Dexter: Damn, ok thats disgusting as hell, but still really not a good reason to hold a grudge for so long.

Monty: Ok, then listen to this. I didn�t even see it on my bed that night, I was so fucking wasted. The next morning I was covered in shit and I thought I had done it myself because I couldn�t even remember what happened that night. That asshole let me walk around for six months thinking I shit my bed before letting me know what he did.

Dexter: Oh........er..........thats pretty disgusting. How come I don�t remember ever hearing about that.

Monty: Cause I paid off some freshmen to sneak my sheets out and burn them. I woke up earlier then everyone else so I had time to wash away the evidence.

Dexter: And ever since then, the two of you have been playing pranks on each other back and forth, trying to pay back the other one for what he did.

Monty: That about sums it up.

Dexter: Christ Dexter, can�t you just let it go. I talked to Jackson myself today and he says he is way passed all that crap.

Monty: He said crap! I bet that was a dig at me. Rat bastard.

Dexter: Jesus, did you even hear what I said.

Monty: What, like I�m going to believe that load of shit. I know him, he would sooner give in to this as I would.

Dexter: The guy is a lawyer for a very prestigious firm, he has a wife and a kid, and he is a member of the PTA board. I think the only one holding onto this childish grudge is you my friend.

Monty: Do not be fooled my young apprentice, he blinds you from the dark side of the force.

Dexter: Could you sound anymore like a geek right now?

Monty: Could you sound like you watch to much Friends right now?

Dexter: Hey now, that is a good show.

Monty: Sure it is. Thats why I see you drooling over all the women every time it comes on in syndicate.

Dexter: I admit, they are some attractive women...especially the one who plays Phoebe.

Monty: OK, that enough talk about your fantasy life. I have vengeance to plan.

Dexter: So you really are going to keep this going.

Monty: You bet your sweet ass I am. By the way, have you been working out?

Dexter: Well, I have been hitting the gym three times a week. I�m glad all that work is showing finally.

Monty: Actually I was thinking you smelled like a gym locker....but your ass looks nice too.

Dexter: ha you are a real laugh riot.

Monty: Remember folks, I�m here all week. So......are you going to help with my plan?

Dexter: Why the hell would I help you with this petty grudge? I will not be part of such a childish act of male testosterone driven idiocy. And if you had any self respect, you wouldn�t do it either.

Monty: You remember how all the women on campus wouldn�t talk to you your junior year?

Dexter: Yeah, that was kind of weird. It seemed like none of them could get far enough away from me fast enough. I couldn�t even sit at a table in the library with another woman without her getting up and moving.

Monty: Yeah, thats cause Jackson and his friends told every women on campus that you got herpes from that head case freshman Peterman before he was kicked out of college.

Dexter: What?!?!

Monty: They where all saying that you and Peterman where having a gay love affair in the steam room late at night. Jackson himself claimed to have �accidentally� catch you to humping like dogs in heat.

Dexter: I DID NO SUCH THING!!! I didn�t even know that whacko.

Monty: Dude, I know that, you where with me at that night club on the night in question.

Dexter: Why the hell did he do that?!?

Monty: It seems he was trying to get into Pamela Jameson�s pants one night. It turns out she had somewhat of a crush on you, so Jackson told her that story. How they came to spread that story around.....eh, I�ve heard rumors it was on a bet.

Dexter: Pamela Jameson had a crush on me?

Monty: Holy shit dude, did she ever. I heard rumor that she told her best friend she was saving her virginity for you. My god, that Pamela did have one hell of a body on her and oh christ those knockers she had ......perfection.

Dexter: *stands there for a minute staring off into space in complete silence*..... so whats your plan?

Monty: heh, I thought you would see it my way. What I have planed for him will far out do my last pay back on him.

Dexter: That senior year Mexican themed frat party. That was legendary.

Monty: I have since deemed that night operation, Pinata of poo.

Dexter: I�ve heard they had to rip out the carpeting because they couldn�t get out the stains from that incident.

Monty: Its amazing the results you get when you feed a dog jalepenos and chocolate laxative. It probably didn�t help I mixed in some permanent black die before I sealed it into that Pinata.

Dexter: Its amazing you haven�t been locked up for the shit you pull.

Monty: A true artist through and through my friend.

Dexter: So whats this elaborate plan you have then?

Monty: Well I was thinking about hacking a few companies and send his credit in the shitter....

Dexter: How about we stick with something that doesn�t come down to a prison sentence.

Monty: Fine, if you are to afraid to commit a major felony then I have another less illegal plan on how to get him.

To be continued with episode 4 - part 2 - The best layed plans are for fools.

Same Chrome time, same Chrome channel.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003