I've noticed quite a change here since then. I seem to have gain quite a few more readers to this here diary.

Just want to give you all a big welcome and try not to spill shit on the carpet when you are here.

And for you new people, that last diary entry is not the norm to this diary. Usually I'm just whinning and bitching while TRYING to make it funny at the same time.

Note the emphasis on "trying".

So this is not all about depressing stories of the decline of humanity and the natural barbarism of some cultures.

Somtimes I throw in dick and fart jokes to lighten the mood.

but seriously...

The fourth of July. The United State's day of celebrating our independce from Britian. If I have my history correct, its something about a bunch of guys spilling there tea in some harbor and some dick named Hancock with the hand writing of a three year old who has been dropped on his head several times.

Go USA, number one in education! Within the confines of our borders that is.

Well enough about how bad our eductaional system is here in the States and on with the festivities.

First thought in my head as I walk out my front door to the bustline street outside at noon.

ME: Ugh, to fucking bright out here. What the hell is that giant globe of burning fire in the sky?? Oh yeah, thats the sun, forgot about that.

Which just goes to show you, I'm really not a day person.

So I head down the street I live on, which junctions to the main street and makes the center of our downtown. Closer and closer I came to a sea of lobster skinned people, cheap sunglasses, a wave of over powering perfume, and children running around like wild packs of hyenas hunting for a weaking prey.

In other words, crowds suck.

Why I subject myself to this I have not a clue. I know I really dislike crowds, but there is a part of my brain that says, "hey, that sounds like fun, lets go do that."

Which is why I smoke so much pot sometimes, I'm trying to kill off that part of my brain. So far, not very successfull, though I seem to have forgotten a large chunk of my childhood. Oh well, probably the sucky years anyways.

So I bob and weave my way through the crowd which is such a pain since the population explodes to three times the numbers on fourth of july weekend here. Which isn't hard to see as for a good mile down the avenue, its at least four people deep along each side of the road.

I'm a man on a mission, I can't be bothered. No time to stop and take a picture of your family sir, I've got places to be. And would you mind ever so much if you could pull your kid off my leg, I think he is humping my knee.

I'm not actually down town to see the parade. What I am doing is heading to the park where the band shell is and where Spanky's band, Stone Hog, is playing a free concert.

Which turned out pretty good with a decent turn out. The only problem was the other band playing the free concert wassucking more dick then Monica Lewinsky as a White House intern.

I'm not just saying this because I'm biased towards Stone Hog. I just have a habit of saying bands suck when they play songs out of key, fuck up an average of three times per song, and the singer tries going way to far out of his vocal range.

Call me a perfectionist, but I just like my music to not sound like a group of monkeys on acid banging away on instruments.

It wasn't long after that I made my way to the beach to check out the fireworks. Or hell on earth as I reffered to it the first time I had to take a piss.

Had only two banks of porta johns on the entire beach, one set on each end of the beach. Now take a wild guess where I was on the beach.

Yep, you guessed, right in the middle of the bastard.

So, when even the thought of having to take a piss crossed my mind, I just started walking towards the porta johns. By time I arrived at one, my bladder was ready to explode like a pack of M-80's in a bon fire.

So I finally make my way to one of bank of porta johns and see there is a line roughly then length of a baseball diamond for each one.

There is not even a decent place to duck behind and just get my business done.

So there I am with a bunch of other people dancing back and forth trying to think about anything not related to water running.

I got to tell you though, I really had to supress any evil thoughts I had once I finally made it into one of those porta johns. Knowing all those people standing out there, dying for there turn in the plastic toilet. And just imagine how I felt when I walked out of it, all refreshed.

Sort of made me wish I had a big bottle of water at that moment just so I could slowly poor it on the ground in front of them, let them hear the water trickling down.

Yeah, no one ever acussed me of being a saint.

Then after killing my back and feet from walking around so much all day and getting a sun burn on my forearms. It all led up to the grand finale of the night. A lame and very slow fire works show.

Damn small town budgets.

Well, I'm exhausted and I've been putting off ending this entry for to long. So, I'm gonna end it here and will probably talk about the Ren fair I went to today in my next entry.

Then again I'm probably not going to seeing as how lame it was. About the only benifit of going to it was seeing people so lost in there geekness, it made me look cool in comparison.

Now thats truelly sad.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003