Why, you may ask.

Two reasons for this.

1. Aint got a thing to talk about, and am not feeling creatively able to work the orginal idea I was going to do.

2. I feel compelled to type this dream out to help me make some sense of it to me.

So, you've been warned. And in all probability, the next entry will be a hell of a lot more funny if I can just work out the idea for it.

Well, since thats been announced, so be the dream at hand...

The majority of the dream takes place in very large room. White seamless floors reflecting the light to a nearly blinding level. Accentuating the brightly colored red pillows, bear rugs, and silver end tables. There are two fireplaces at opposite ends of the room. One being behind a bar that expands the length of the room. This fire place, which is the only one I get close enough to inspect, is unfinised but in heavy use. Down the length of the bar is vast amount of half filled and empty glasses of all shapes and sizes. The drinks within some of the glasses

vary in color from a bright clear liquid to a golden amber.

Behind the bar sits a plethera of various bottles of alchol, though I pay no attention to any of them so I have not a clue what a single bottle was.

There are people on either side of the bar, some sitting and drinking, others serving drinks. The soft chatter of multiple conversations fill the room, but being so many conversations going on, it becomes just a hum of various voices.

Sitting somewhat off from everyone else at that the bar, I look across it and see a strikingly beautiful woman just standing there watching everyone else in the room.

Her looks somewhat of an exotic beauty. Long, shiny, straight black hair casscades around her head and flows over her shoulders, and down her back. Her skin a slight olive shade looks as smooth as the smoothest silk. Her cheek bones strong in her face, accentuating her beauty. Her lips full and what seem to be painted a darker shade of brown. Gentle arching eyebrows flow gracefully over the most amazing eyes I have ever seen.

Dark, mysterious, thoughtfull, filled with life eyes that if I wasn't dreaming, would have taken my breath away when she turned them on me as if inspecting not what was she saw on the outside, but as if inspecting every little bit of my heart and soul.

I feel like I know her, in some kind of way, but not very well. As if our relationship has stayed on a very casual, acknoledge each other's existance kind of way.

Now I saw her face with great definition, but the thing is she was the only one I can see like this. Everyone else's faces where to blurry to make out what the look like. I could only really tell the women from the men from blurry facial hair and the shapes of bodies.

Somehow I get caught up in a conversation with several people down the bar from me. Only I have not a clue what they are talking about. So the conversation goes on and I interject some humor here and there, enjoying the laughter I seem to bring to them even if I don't even know what I'm saying.

Next thing I know, I say something that has everyone at the bar laughing hysterically. Everyone but her.

I can feel her eyes turned on me, willing me to look her way. I can't resist this because there is a part of me that always wants to look at her and never turn away.

I look at her and I see something in her eyes I had not seen before and had wished I never would see. A sad look fills her eyes tinged with an amount of pain.

In a very soft voice that was just as stunning as those eyes, she said to me...

"You really didn't have to do that you know."

Then she turns away from me and dispears behind a section of the bar.

As soon as she disapears behind the bar, I know without a doubt in my mind that she will never be back again. That she was taking a plane out of the country, never to return.

At that moment it hits me like a sledge hammer. I can not live without her in my life.

The colors in the world fades, the tastes of food and drink lessens to one unatural taste, the meaning life dulls because she will not be there anymore.

I panick as if I'm facing my own death and I'm not even fighting it.

Running around the room, I desperately try to think what I can do to change this. Wishing desperately I didn't say what I said to hurt her so badly that she would leave my life forever.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SHE LIKED ME!!! WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY!!!

I was in full blown panick mode at this time, those words repeating in my head. Thats when I notice something stapled to one of the boards on the unfinished fire place.

I run over it, desperate that its a clue of some sorts.

I grab it and somehow instinctively know its a copy of her flight plan. I look at and just know she has one lay over in Cincinatti. Actually I confuse it for Kentucky at first, but realize later its suppose to be Cincinatti.

*as a side note of reality. The Cincinatti airport is in actuality in Kentucky. The Ohio river is the border between Ohio and Kentucky. Cincinatti sits right next to the Ohio river, but the airport is on the Kentucky side of the river*

On this recept is some code that tells me when her lay over is, how long, and when her flight out of the country is. I just can't make heads or tails of it. This is what the code looked like...

ocg/ces

I'm looking at that and I have not a clue what it means or how to decipher it so I know when the lay over is.

Clutching that recept, I came to the conclusion I can't just stand here and let this happen. I have to do anything and everything to try and stop her from leaving my life. I needed to see her and desperately explain to her how wrong it was for me to say whatever I said and beg and plead that she don't leave. At the very least, I needed to see her face just one more time. To memorize every little aspect of her so I may try and live the rest of my life. Haunted by her beauty in my memories and in my dreams.

Reaching in my pocket, I pull out this large wad of cash. I know this is all the money I have in the world. I know I have important things I must do with this money like pay bills, buy food, keep from living on the streets.

At that point, I didn't care what I needed to do with this money. If it took every last cent I would have, I would gladly use it all just to find her and see her at least one last time.

I find someone with a car I can borrow then I stop someone and ask them, "how far away is Cicinatti airport from here?"

Eleven days away, the person said before fading off in the distance.

ELEVEN FUCKING DAYS!!!

How can this be?!? Its only a state away, how can it be that far away.

I panick at the time it will take, but don't care how far away it is. I GOT to be there when she makes her connectiong flight.

My plan is simple. Take the car and drive tell I'm ready to pass out and hope the money I have will make it at least one way.

I run outside the room to get the car parked at the side of the road. Stopping at the curb, I look down the length of the road that seems to end in nothing but darkness.

All down the length at both sides of the roads sits this large, beautiful houses. Just at the curb, there are these towering oak trees creting a canopy of branches and leaves just above the road. A mild breeze stirring a blanket of brown and yellow leaves like a mini tornado in the middle of the road.

I marvel at the beauty of the street which refreshes and reasures me that I stand a chance of finding her. Convincing her to stay and remain in my life.

That my life will be worth living after all....

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003