I like air circulation. Its nice, its comforting, feels good on the skin. The thing is, this fan is older the shit. Damn thing is so old that when you turn it on high you can hear it switching through the gears like a car going through its transmision. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'm turning up the fan or starting up a hover craft.

So its old, I've stated that. I got it from a late friend of my mom's. I needed a fan. She didn't need it. Guess who got it.

The asshole who asked for it.

Now first off its kind of a small somewhat rectangular fan. Its to small to be a window fan not to mention to bulky. It looks kind of like a bread box on two wire hangers. I got wide window sills, damn thing won't fit on them without something propped underneath.

Of course there is not a surface in this entire apartment the same level as the window sills. Either its way to low or extremely to high.

Eh, so its not a window fan. I'll live with that fact.

Well obviously it wasn't taken very well care of before I got my hands on it. Seems it doesn't always want to run right off the bat. Takes a good five minutes to go from Slow Poke Rodriqez speed to "oh my god I'm can actually feel it now" mode.

Once again, I can live with this fact.

What I CAN'T live with is that it has a tendency to start squeeling at a very loud, high pitch. It doesn't matter if I got my head phones on and cranked with some loud and abusive music. I can hear that squeek through all that like someone is drilling in my damn skull.

So whats the cure for stopping this squeek?

Whack the living piss out of it.

Its like cheap therapy and a S&M session all wrapped into one. Though I'll tell ya, it doesn't wear PVC good. Just doesn't have the body for it.

So I'll be sitting here doing my work *whatever it is at the moment* and the damn thing squeeks like its desperate for attention. Seeing as my computer speakers decided to take a crap out on me, I've got to directly plug my head phones into the comp.

Sure, they will reach as far as the fan as long as I don't make any sudden head movements. And let me tell you, when you invest a good chunck of change in a set of headphones. The concept of "no sudden head movments" makes you nervous like a mofo. Last thing I need is a pile of broken plastic with cheep velvet like cushions to gently craddle my ear.

Aint fuckin happening folks.

So, my fan decides its time to be beaten like a red headed step child. I got to pause my music. Take off my head phones. Stand up and walk over to the fan since its JUST out of reach of me. A concept very much against my slacker code. Then I got to whack the fucker like I'm an escaped mental patient with electronic issues.

Yeah, the fun doesn't end there.

You see, I've come to the conclussion the fan has a mind of its own. When I'm the most busy, it squeeks like as if some one kicked Mariah Carrey right in the fun box. Which leads me to beleive its maschostic cause it takes a few good thwaps to shut it the hell up. To further this belief, just when I'm sitting back down and I got the headphones back on, music pumping in my ears. THE DAMN THING BEGINS SQUEEKING AGAIN!!!

sumabitch.

Really its a good thing I don't own a baseball bat or this sumabitch would be in a couple thousand pieces right now. Along with the ever so nice wicker basket it sits upon. And probably a desk lamp or two.....and possibly that annoying ass mirror just above my comp that freaks me out every time the lights are out. Oh and my chair has been a royal pain in the ass as of late.

hm

fuck the baseball bat, I'm getting me a chain saw.

Now who's squeeling, NOW WHO'S SQUEELING!!!!!

You know, I REALLY shouldn't do that. Its gonna keep you people thinking I'm this freaky weird crazy mofo.

And really I'm not.

IF these damn voices in my head would just shut the fuck up!!!!

Alright, thats enough craziness for one entry.

I don't know how many of you have actually already seen this, but I thought I would share the joke with you.

enjoy!

Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowls to test the strength of the

windshields.

British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high-speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.

When the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, blasted through the control console, snapped the engineer's

backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin, like an arrow shot from a bow.

The horrified Brits sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield and begged the US scientists for suggestions.

NASA responded with a one-line memo: "Defrost the chicken"

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003