Jay and Silent Bob Strikes Back

Its been one long ass weekend for me, ending it with being up for 26 hours from Sunday to Monday. The end results....

I SAW JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKES BACK MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!

You know how much this shit has been driving me nuts!!! Well, of course you do, I have been bitching about it on a regular basis.

Well, lets start from the begining of this little trip. I had to be in Grand Rapids by 8 AM Monday morning. The reason for this I haven't mentioned in the past, but I shall give a short review why. I'm currently trying to go through the Social Security Adminstration for my scoliosis of the spine. You see, about less then a year ago I found out that my spine is curved, which explains my chronic back pains. Of course, this usually is something spotted in your pre-teens to early teen years, but nobody spotted it on me tell I was 25. How nice to feel loved and not neglected by my medical comunity. I'm trying to get them to help me out to make sure it doesn't get worse, seek out some medical help I couldn't fathom affording. I had to be there at that time for my case to show up in there court. So its an early ass drive to a town about an hour and a half to two hours away from where I live.

Let me tell yeah, the trip there I realized how fucking insane morning hour traffic on the free way is. Just about everyone was going around 85 to 90 miles per hour, and several cars where bobbing and wearing out of traffic, nearly hitting cars left and right. Not to mention the semi with the double trailer at these speeds in the pitch black of real early morning. The winds and his speeds where so high, I could see the trailer teetering back and forth on the verge of falling over. Needless to say, we stayed as far back away from those trailers as possible.

So there I am, five in the morning on the freeway with a close friend *the guy who owned the car and was nice enough to take a day off work to drive me there* with Spanky aka Xilix and his brother El Moochuroso. We leave earlier then needed in case of rush hour traffic and any un forseen dificulties.

When we finally get there, an hour early, we go get some breakfeast while we are waiting. As we sat there eating our breakfeast sandwiches and such, I noticed several teenagers come in and out for breakfeast themselves. And I tell yeah, every last one of them had there money tucked away in one of there socks. I don't know if this was some new wierd ass trend or if it was a way of keeping your money safe. Now if it is to keep your money safe, how safe can it be anyway. Sure, its not a bad idea IF everyone else isn't doing it, but since everyone else is doing it, I'm guessing if anyone wants to rob yeah of it, there going to know where it is. So not only does your money smell like feet, but if you get robbed, you then have to go through the embaressement of rolling down your socks and yanking up your pants for someone to get your fucking five bucks.

After breakfeast I head out to the building about 20 minutes before I was suppose to be there. When I finally reach the floor it is on, its ten minutes to eight in the morning. Well, it seems being prompt and even a bit early doesn't pay off there, cause I was forced to wait for 20 minutes in the front lobby with a security gaurd with the need to gab. This guy wouldn't shut up, there I am all nervous and shit, a bit tired at the early morning hours and just wanting to sit there and collect my thoughts. He wouldn't stop talking about where he was this weekend and how he was a retired cop and blah blah blah. As I was contemplating cutting his heart out with a spoon, I noticed two doors opposite of each other. Everyone who worked there came in and out of each of these doors. Above the handle of each door was this six key not pad which you had to type in a code to get past the door. Not a bad idea I thought, keep out the irriate and the truelly insane. It seemed like a good idea tell I sat back and quietely absorved each door when people where coming in out of them. Not only where the keys nice and loud so you could hear how many keys they pushed, but each key had its own slightly distinctive noise to it. Well, that can't be to tough to break through, just memorize the number of buttons pushed with the sounds in order, push the buttons and there yeah go, free admitance. As I'm sitting there living out my James Bond/Mission Impossible fantasy planning out a raid on this place, the security gaurd goes and ruins it all by not even bothering to hide his hands pushing the buttons. Yep, security is tight in this place, I feel real safe here.

Finally some one comes out and takes me to a private room to discuss what is suppose to happen today, then leaves me alone in the room with my medical records to look over. You know how disturbing it is to read your own damn medical records. I'm looking through it feeling like big brother is watching over my shoulder as I read, and oh wait.....what do we have here.....I have a deviated sceptum.

WHAT THE FUCK!!! How come no one ever told me I had this before in any of my past doctor's opointments??? This definetly explains why I snore with something a kin to being at a AC/DC concert, loud and bad for your long term hearing. So I'm seeing this and several other things I never had mention to me before, wondering why MY medical history was such a mystery to ME.

After like an hour of half in there, the judge presisding over my case talking a mile a minute, I come out feeling a bit dazed and stun with the procedings. Then off we go cause I'm on a quest......

I'M GOING TO FIND A WAY TO SEE JAY AND SILENT BOB STRILES BACK EVEN IF IT KILLS.....eeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrr you, heh I'm a fanatic, but not THAT bad.

So where driving around looking for this movie theater called studio 28, Spanky keeps persisting the theater rocks. Its closed by time we get there, no big suprise since its like a quarter past ten in the morning. I was just hoping they had a marque and possible time slots for the movies. Nope, not that lucky. So we head off to look for a phone so we can call the theater's hotline to see if they still have the movie and whats the earliest time it would show. So we hit the new mall in town for a phone and some bathrooms. Damn that mall was huge, not Mall of America huge, but I'm used to the biggest place I go to is Meijers, so I'm in comerace heaven/hell. Haven't decided if access to so many stores was worth putting up with large crowds and enough pastel colors to make Martha Stewart yell WHAT THE FUCK!!

Looking at the map we find that this mall has a movie theater on its second floor. Checking it out and YES!!!! Not only do they have Jay and Silent Bob, but the earliest show is like a quarter after 1 and the prices where way cheaper then I thought they would be. Spanky persists on still calling Studio 28 to find out the time of the earliest show and prices, and oh am I ever so glad he did.

Studio 28's show is a bit earlier, and the theater is absolutely huge. So now where stuck with killing time tell the show is ready to go. Of course, being the geeks we are, we seek out the video game arcade in the mall. We arrive there just as there lifting up the security gate in front of it. My knees go weak as I step into the aracade and reveal in the brain killing moments I shall spend here in this place. I did find it a bit funny that it was sectioned off partially to make it a large arcade and a bar. Alchol and video games, two things that feel you a bit dazed in the end and wondering where the fuck did all your money go. Now when I was a kid, going to a video game arcade was one of my favorite things to do. Now I haven't been to a real video game arcade in many years and I have to ask...

WHEN THE HELL DID THEY MAKE VIDEO GAMES SO LABOR INTENSIVE!!!

Now the ridding games where not a problem, even the ones you had to lean with the vehicle and such. The one video game that was most killer was this boxing game. There was a foot pad you had to stand on with all these censors in it. There was two plastic boxing gloves you had to hold on to with four cables running from each to the machine. You actually had to dance around, duck and weave and throw punches to beat your aponent. I was freaking dying about the second boxer in. Spanky was like jello after his second time playing the game. But damn was that game some fun as shit. I want me one in my house, be one hell of a fun way to lose way and get fit.

So about fourty five minutes and more cash then I like to think about spent. I plop down on the bar in desperate hope of a drink at a cheap price. So the only person there is the bartender slicing fruit for drinks and such. So I ask for a regular pepsi. The guy tells me he is only charging me a buck, but if the place is packed he doesn't charge anything for a regular pop. So let me get this straight, you have a giant screen television on one of the walls, a bar that will serve me free pop, and right next to it a video game aracade? You got a back room I can slip a cot in and crash out at buddy cause I'm moving in!!!

So finally we head out to the theater when it finally opens and get our tickets for the movie. We still have an hour to kill so what do we do.......yep you guessed it, we hit the arcade there. Thats where I found this game for people who are into self abuse. The tower of terror, not really a video game, but a game none the less. On a up right board is the three dimensional skeleton with a line of lights in place of its spine. The base board there is two silver handles and three buttons in the middle labeled low, medium, and high voltage. What you do is either hold onto both the handles or one of them and someone holds the other handle. The handles vibrate hard the higher you get up on the lights tell a final double vibration. Spanky and El Moochuroso decided to do high voltage together. I couldn't stop laughing at the look on there face and how they kept freaking out when the handles vibrated hard. So I get curious and try it out myself all alone on high voltage. It wasn't so bad tell the last four vibrations. They vibrate so hard its freaking painfull, makes you want to desperately let go. I managed to hold on the whole time.....I rule, but damn did my hands every feel funky for the next hour or so.

So finally the moment comes, we head to our theater and I'm blown away. The seats are all cushioned and set in rows higher and higher up. What a concept, rows set so you don't have to worry about someone's damn head getting in the way. Of course, by time I sit down in the theater I have been up for something like 22 hours, so I am trying to not fall asleep in those comfortable chairs. The excitment for seeing the movie kept me going and finally the screen glows and we begin. I was laughing my god damn balls off at this movie. God damn was it funny, not nearly as intelligent then his last couple of movies, but some funny as shit. What a way to end the whole Jay and Silent Bob saga. Though I am going to dearly miss more movies with them. I'm hoping he still brings them back for future products or another movie or three.

Well, other then nearly falling asleep in the car on the way back home and listening to some kick ass music. That would be the end of it for me.

I'm still exhausted from that trip so I'm out of here.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003