Blood Hound Gang, Fire, water, burn

HOLY PORNO BATMAN!!! HAVE YOU SEEN THIS NEW BRITNEY SPEARS FUCKING VIDEO!!

Yep, I'm talking about Britney Spears here, and no you don't have to ask, "Who are you, and what did you do with Chrome!?!?"

I just feel the need to update you all on the most current seudo-porn flick on MTV.

So I'm bored shitless the other day, and I'm channel surfing just shy of the speed of light, when I come across this sweaty, writhing, blonde hard body and I'm like, "Well hello nurse! Now what is this?"

It didn't take long for me to realize its Britney Spears writhing and ungulating while singing "I'm a slave for you' only the you in the title is U. Now you just know with this song, there will be hundreds of teens and pre-teens running to the bondage chat rooms as "SlaveforU" and begging to be spanked, then high tailing it the first time someone metions lube and/or, "wanting to take you in a very uncomfortable place." *like what, in the back of a Volswagon?*

So she is singing about how even if you like to put nipple clampers on her, smearing her in peanut butter, and have her dancing the cabbage patch while spanking her ass and calling her "Candy Yum Yum", its all cool to here cause she is a "slave for U."

Well ok, so she didn't EXACTLY say that, but she is a rock star so you know she has got to be kinky. Gets bored ordering people to seperate her skittles by the color and explaing to them her champion puddle ONLY drinks de-ionized avian water or nothing at all.

Man, I have WAY to much time on my hand to think about stupid shit like that...

BUT ANYWAYS....

Near the end of the video, its nothing but a close up of her face as she sings, while masses of writhing, sweating flesh surrounds her. I swear, when she does the heavy breathing part of the song during that part of the video, it looks like a freakin orgy. You realize how many millions of masturbatory fantasies that ONE scene has probably inspired pre-teens and middle aged men living in the basement of there mom's house while wearing a shirt that says, "NERDS RULE!"

To clarify this for, I don't mena you will catch me flogging the bishop while watching this video. I may think she is hot as hell, but I'd rather buy real porn then watch simulated porn. But for some reason you do manage to catch me polishing the purple helmeted yogurt slinger, then.....

SEEK IMEDIATE PSYCHOLOGICAL HELP!!!

BUT ANYWAYS............

I was thinking of a funny test you could do with this video. Record it this video and wait tell a day you have a ton of visitors over at your house. Turn on the tape and pause it on the spot where she is breathing heavily in the midst of writhing, sweating bodies. See how long it takes them to ask, "Hey, is that a porn video you have on pause?"

heh heh....sounds like a funny thing to do myself....but, I'm easily amused.

Now I'm torn with a conflict of interest with this video. I'm cringing everytime I see the complete sell out to the pop culture, but I grin wickedly when I think of how many tight ass southern baptists are freaking out everytime they see this video.

So the laughter far out weighs the pain of corporate pop on my television in this case.

And oh, thanks Jenn aka Pandora 2169 for saying you dig the ol' Chromer. Though your web site addy I couldn't find. Sorry....

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003