Concrete BLonde, Tomorow Wendy

Well, I have been sleeping for shit this past week. It seems every few months, I become an insominiac, I just can't get to sleep. I lay there in my bed, trying to get comfortable, trying to keep my mind racing from one thing to another, to sit back and relax. And it then takes me between three to five hours to fall asleep. I try reading tell I can't keep my eyes open anymore, but all I end up doing is getting to exhausted to read anymore, but not enough to fall asleep. So, for about two to three weeks on average, I have the most horrible time to fall asleep. And on top of this, I don't get nearly enough sleep to satify me. I end up getting somwhere around 3 to at the most six hours, but most the time I get less sleep then the time it took me to fall asleep.

In a week like this, the most sleep I will get is around twenty five to thirty hours in the entire week. The recomended amount of sleep a week is around fifty five to sixty hours asleep. I'm barely getting half as much sleep asI should, but try as I might, my brain can't seem to rest, as soon as its got enough engergy to be able to remain awake, it wakes my ass up.

So, I'll be sleeping for three hours, maybe four, taking me around three to five to fall asleep, being wide awake the entire time, then be up for the next thirty hours. So, maybe saying I get twenty five to thirty hours might be more exagerated from the truth.

I have had times when I'm insominiac, that I would have a friend take off at night to go home and go to bed, then show back up at my apartment about a hour after they wake up and I'm STILL there wide awake without a minutes sleep.

Now when I'm awake for this long, despite being constantly groggy and yawning, I get a lot of shit down during this time cause I got nothing better to do for the next thirty hours. Anything from writing, going out of town, chilling to a assortment of movies and/or books, jumping on the computer, to cleaning. I get a lot of things done. On quite a few of these stents of lack of sleep, I manage to clean my house from "tornado Chuck has arrived" to "holy shit I can see the floor and everything is so neatly in place." I have read fat ass books all in one of those periods of time, or a trilogy of smaller books. I manage to clear out all sorts of things I meant to earlier in closest, other storage spaces like my bedroom, and create more room for me.

And despite all that, I can't fall asleep for the life of me, the concept of a good nights rest becomes a faded memory to seeing the sun set, rise, then set again wihtout even taking a nap.

The only good thing about this is it only happens for a few weeks every several months to a year, and then I'm back to a regular amount of sleep, and sometimes more. But, after a point, I'm back to being up for ungodly amount of hours.

And trust me when I tell you I have tried all sorts of....ahem...relaxing techniques of all sorts. The things that make your brain just turn to jello from exhaustion, and it physically hurts to try and remember your own name. I have tried them all short of prescription sleeping pills to help me out. And none of them seem to work tell I'm through the cycle of no sleep. I just lay there, exhausted, starring at the ceiling, doing wierd ass exercises in the bed.....

Oh, and all you men out there that know about the exercies that woman do down there, well here is a tid bit of info for you, men can do them too and trust me on this, it can work some amazing effects I'm telling you.

but anyways.......

I've learned all the wierd fucking sounds I can make with my mouth and throat just laying there for hours staring at the dull ceiling above me. I even had a occasion or two where I have caught myself a bit delirious as I'm singing at the top of my lungs made up lyrics to the "inspirational" music the Kirbys downstairs plays for there employees to get them all pumped up for the day.

Here are a few choice songs I redid in the wee hours of the morning to the music downstairs.

Adam Ant, Goody two shoes

I can't sleep, I can't stay awake, what the fuck to do
I can't sleep, I can't stay awake, what the fuck to do
Suttly going insane now, must be cause I'm tired.

The Safety Dance

You cann't sleep if you want to.
You can leave those dreams behind.
Because if you can't see, you just might be
Seeing your life slipping by.

Loving Feeling

Oh you lost that ability to sleeeeppppp
whoa oh the ability to sleeppppp
YOU LOST THE ABILITY TO SLE-EP now its gone, gone gone
oh oh fuck no.

The Doors

Hello, I love you, won't you stop thinking so deep
Hello, I love you, won't you get some sleep
Hello, I love you, won't you kill me with that flower
Hello, I love you, won't you tell me why another thirty hours.

Lime in a Cocunut

He said put the lime in the cocunut and drink it all up
Put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up
I said DOCTOR!
Can't you tell me what to do
I said DOCTOR!
Can't you show me what to do and he said
You put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up.

Ok, so I didn't make up that last one, its from an actual song, I just don't have a freakin clue WHAT song it is. When I was a child, my mother and I use to sing that with horrible jamican accents to help get me to sleep. She would sit on the edge of my bed and softly sing that song, and I would grin and sing right along with her. Now I find that in some of these times when I can't sleep for days, I will be laying there in bed singing that song quietly and smilling.

Well, at least not everything is bad.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003