Anonymos

Ho boy, about the ony good thing I can say about this day is that no one kick me in my nuts, but the nights young so you never know.

Lets start this little diddy off by saying today WAS so suppose to be my offical day of grocery shopping for a month's worth of food.

Note the was in that sentence, you know the one in bold and all caps, as if I REALLY needed to note that.

Now before each trip, as I have noted in this diary before, I like to find all the store's fliers and see what sales they have this week so I can best take advantage of my budget.

Now, normally this means I grab the sunday flier that is always here on saturday.

Yeah I know, its a SUNDAY flier and I always find it on my door step on SATURDAY, go figure.

Well, sauturday comes around and no flier, no biggy cause maybe this time they are ACTUALLY going to send it out on Sunday.

Nope, no flier on sunday either, and unlike in past times it wasn't thrown into one of the garbage bins by one of my neighbors to keep the steps tiddy. I checked, the cans where empty.

Oh now isn't that special. I should have taken this as a sign but I seem to become strangely optimistic when everything and anything that can go wrong will go wrong. I'm just fucked up that way.

So I have to manage to get the fliers before I head to the store and do the shopping, or I will be blind shopping and probably come horribly over budget.

Alright, no fliers, I can work with this.

Ah, but I have no money what so ever to ride the bus to the stores and back again.

I know what you are thinking, how did I would I get food without money.

Food benifits buddy, disability has its benifits.

Alright, no money for a ride, I can handle this. And I do, I get my best friend to borrow his mother's car.

Ok, this is a bonus, don't have to deal with the bus's slow ass drivers and carrying shitloads of groceries on public transportation then carry it all up the stairs at once because I'd rather not leave my food sitting at the bottom of the stairs for anyone to steal. Call me crazy, but that just doesn't sound apealing to me.

Ok, problem with the vehicle, can only borrow it at a very early hour in the morning. With me being a night owl, that causes a few problems, but I got a simple solution to this.

Stay up all night.

Yeah, this shouldn't be a problem, stay up all night, do my grocery shopping in the early morning. Then haul it all back home and put away in the fridge and cabinets and its bed time for me baby.

Now, time constrants where tight on this one cause of the early morning shopping trip so she can get to a afternoon doctors opointment, and on top of the fact I didn't get the fliers I needed tell this morning, shortly before the shopping trip.

Ok, stay calm, I can do this. Theres only a little stress here but everything will work out.

*hinsight bitter laughter*

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh you sad, sad loser. You have NO clue whats in store for you.

Alright, my friend who stayed the night gets up real early in the morning to give his mom a call to see when he can pick up the truck.

10:30 at the earliest.

Ok, that gives me roughly ten minutes to budget out my meals with the fliers in hand, I CAN do this.

So 10:30 rolls around and my friend walks over to his mom's place which is only two blocks from my apartment.

As he is gone I work on the budget, fully confident that everything can easily be done with in the time limits set for me and within two or three hours I'll be safely nestled in my bed and slipping off to blissfull sleep.

Ah jeez, I could kick myself hard for actually thinking this shit, its almost like I curse myself for being to optimistic.

So, twenty minutes later my friend comes walking through the door.

Oh shit, he has THAT look on his face, something must have gone wrong.

Well, it turns out she lent the truck to her live in girlfriend's son to go pick up his girlfriend.

Oh fuck me in the goat ass.

This requires a little backstory on this mofo who bored the truck.

Now he has got to be the worst driver in existance. The man wouldn't know a break petal from his ass, but he is still legally allowed to be behind a vehicle.

He is the master of totalling cars. Oh and these cars where all my friend's mothers and her girlfriends cars, and he managed to destroy every last one of them.

Adviously by saying cars, I mean more then one. Ah, but its not two cars either, nor is it three cars. We come to four cars and he just guffaws at the notion.

This kid ahs managed to completely total FIVE fucking cars.

I say kid cause he just turned twenty one not to long ago.

He is twenty one, and he is destroyed five cars already. He isn't even a fucking profesional or amatuer driver, he just sucks THAT BAD.

And you know what...HE STILL HAS HIS FUCKING LICENCE!!!

I know a guy who hasn't ever had a drivers licence, but has had it revoked do to to many MIPs and not once was he behind the wheel when he got those.

Is anyone elses brain hurting to think about how our legal system works here for drivers licences??

Now this dumbass kid gets away with all five of these car crashes because only one of them actually hit another vehicle and that was him crashing into the back of a garbage truck.

And nope, he was not drunk during any of these times, I'm telling you he is THAT FUCKING BAD.

So mister "totaled five cars" gets lent out the truck a half hour before my friend's mom said we could come and borrow it.

FUCK

Ok, gotta relax, everything will be alright.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

*hindsight bitter laughter, tears rolling down my cheeks as I hold my sides*

So I don't notice that my friend STILL has that look in his face as if something is wrong. Well I don't notice the look tell he said...

"Now, heres the catch..."

Oh fuck...not good.

Seems he is picking his girlfriend up at the airport......in a town a hour away from here.

FUCK FUCK FUCK!

Oh you got to be kidding me with this shit! Pinch me I think I'm dreaming.

OW, mother fucker! I didn't mean to ACTUALLY pinch me, its a figure of speech...*grumbles as I rub my arm* pig fucker.

Alright, so now we have to wait a MINIMUM of another two hours, and thats figuring this dumb ass doesn't take is good ol sweet time there and back or doesn't decide to just hang out in the city.

I'm fucking freaking now cause I have been up for....oh who fucking knows how long, I just know I'm aproaching tht twenty four hour mark sometime before he gets back with the truck.

On the bright side I did get plenty of time to budget out my shopping and have some to spare to play around with on impulse buys. Oh yeah, the trade off of sleep for a well budgeted shopping list.

So my friend tells me I should go lay down and take a nap while we wait, but I can't do this cause I'm so exhausted, been up for twenty plus hours, and only had four hours sleep the night before. If I go to bed now I'm gone for the rest of the day, no way I'm going to be able to get up and do all that shopping.

So, I stay awake in fleeting hope that the shopping will and can be done today.

Four hours pass from when we find out dumbass borrowed the car.....

FOUR.FUCKING.HOURS.

*holds up four fingers stretched before me with a wild look in my eyes*

About this time I'm fucking losing it big time. I'm contemplating all the nasty shit I can do to this dumbass and get away with it.

At the time, bodily hurtnig to the point of crippling him AND getting away with it was ironically funny when you figure in all the cars he totalled and got away with.

Four hours and we still have not gotten a phone call back from them.

So we give it another twenty minutes before we can't stand it anymore and just call them.

Oh, he is back already!

yay!

Oh, his mom is already taken the truck to the doctors apointment that dumbass made her twenty minutes for.

FUCKING OPTIMISM SUCKS DICK!

Alright, its offical, wheres my big stick and can of whoop ass cause I'm going postal on this mofo.

Alright, we are now talking about another hour to hour and half longer wait on the vehicle. I could have fucking gone asleep and woke refreshed and reinvigorated before I found out all this shit.

Alright so we wait the time out for her to get back from the doctors office, the minutes dragging by very very slowly as I once again realize television brodcasting before eight o'clock sucks old man dick.

My friend calls over to his moms and she is there...thats when we find out there is more bad news.

BWHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!

OF COURSE THERE IS MORE BAD FUCKING NEWS!!

Well it seems the little trip dumbass took out of town to pick up his girlfriend. He managed during that four hours to burn the fucking transmision out on the truck so nwo it won't go ANY-FUCKING-WHERE!

Oh shoot me now, put me out of my fucking misery I can't take this shit no more!

Alright, no vehicle anymore, we have been waiting roughly seven hours to find out the truck no go anymo' and I'm one exhausted mofo thats been up for more then a day on only four hours sleep.

Yeah, I'm suprised I'm here to and not in jail because I murdered that little fuck.

I swear he is the anti-christ of vehicles. Every car he touches he fucking destroys. This is the first one I have heard of that is actually salvagable, but of course a new transmission in a car is a small fortune on its own. This dumbass has managed to total or fuck up more vehicles then years he has been legally allowed to drive.

I swear when I own a car, if I see this mofo come within twenty feet of it I won't hesitate to open fire.

I'll get off two cause no jury in the world is going to fault me after they hear he is the grim reaper of cars.

It was self defense I swear.

Alright, shopping trip has gone to hell, I have no vehicle and I have no money, energy, or patientce to deal with ridding public transportation. Not to mention I'm afraid the body count would be quite high if I did.

So I finally crash in my bed, passing out to the sounds of my stomach grumbling.

My only saving grace was a packet of hamburger in the fridge so I don't go more then forty eight hours without food.

Now, to figure out how to do the shopping tomorow now.

Ok, I'm going to sleep now cause I feel a nervous break down threating to overwhelm me.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003