Dogma

I'm putting this image I have been using as my desktop, up here just cause I CAN

Heh heh, I'm really digging this gold membership shit.

Well, to start this entry off, I'm going to answer a guest book entry left by Madame Fromage.

Not a bad idea, but unfortunately I'm so poor that I can't even afford a classic meal, bologna on hand..heh

That and I live in a town with less non-franchised restraunts then I have fingers on my hands could be a slight drawback after awhile.

Unless you dig me rating that nasty, greasy after taste of Burger King fries or that I suspect that the Wendy's "secre sauce" is really that guy Dave's jism mixed with thousand island, then we might be able to stretch it tell I'm critqueing girl scouts cookies.

REVIEW QUIESTION: What did you think of there chocolate chip cookies?

ME: Oh it was a lovely endevor of soft, gooey chocolate chips that just simply melted in my mouth. The dough a perfect mixture of ingredients and cooking to create a crips outer shell, but a soft, chewy center. It simply left me craving for more, bravo!

REVIEW QUIESTONI: What did you think of there cocunut cookies?

ME: Tasted like ass. Correction, tasted like ass with a slight after taste of acid reflux. Plus, I have had shits softer then these mofos! I dropped one by accident, and it left a dent in my freakin floor. I have verped *vomit burped for you ill educated* better tasting shit then this. Sorry little girl, your cookies suck donkey dick.

*little girl scout in the corner, crying her eyes out and calling for her mommy*

heh, ok so it has a certain apeal to it.

So, I'm looking at my hit counter report for the week thus far, just cause I got bored and I wanted to see where all my hits are coming from.

Well, first off I get a freakin TON of them from google hits, makes me wonder if there is a such thing as regular reader on here sometimes cause ALL I see is freakin google hits with the occasional unknown thrown in to spice it up.

Second, well, I was looking at how many hits I have gotten this week already and well.....I was bit suprised at the traffic I have gotten. So of course I make sure I have the right log in name and password, cause just MAYBE I'm looking at someone else's hit counter report, just that there nick and password are VERY similiar to mine.

Nope, I'm looking at my own status report.

Holy shit, thats a lot of freakin hits! Well maybe not to a LOT of you people, but for me its preaty freakin astonishing.

So, being the pesimest I inspire to be, I start thinking its a fluke or something. Like they didn't reset the hits this week, or they count your week by the day you signed up and I must have signed up like on a tuesday, cause this is about double what I"m used to.

I had grown a bit comfortable with the idea of getting a hundred hits a week, it was a steady number for me, and I just breeched the triple digit hits stage. So I was happy, somewhat content. Now, its growing steadly more and more over the months. Actually its been more of leaps and bounds as of late then steadily. Which ultimately means that my web page's link has found a temporary home on someone's diary who is a LOT more popular then me, or I keep showing up on top of the google searches for the strangest fucking searches.

I'm not complaining or nothing, but hey, its all new to me baby.

Of course, all you who get a steady thousand hits or more a week would laugh your perspective naughty bits off if you heard the number I'm getting all giddy over.

But hey, its monday going on tuesday and I already have more hits then I normaly get in a week.

Makes me wonder what the fuck......a couple tokes off a good hooter and I'm over that and on to where the fucking munchies are.

So, once again I'm up all night cause my body choses to do the lambada, the forbidden dance, rather then sleep when I'm in my bed.

I'll tell yeah though, the hip thrusts are better in that position, but you look like a retard if you try and do a two and half heel spin into a dip. Just say no to the forbidden dance in bed! Its forbidden for a reason, can REALLY fuck up your back...heh

Well I decide to get up and partake in a bit of mental torture by viewing....

DUN DUN DUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN

EARLY MORNING TELEVISION BRODCASTING!!

Man, this shit sucks more then Tom Green....

wait, thats not fair...to early morning brodcasting...

bwhahahahahahahhaha I crack myself up!

anyways.

I don't know why I subject myself to this shit, I mean its devoid of anything entertaining, and since little children are up and running about, everything takes on this light hearted, send my glucose levels shooting through the levels cause there all so fucking chipper and happy.

I fucking swear, if I was rich I would PAY to have my own early morning television show called "One Pissed off Mofo"

Nothing but bitching, cursing, pissing and moaning. Two hours of one angry guy with guests pissed off for getting them up so fucking early after a all night bender of the hash brownies and a Dick Van Dyke show marathon.

Maybe during the show, at slow points, the show would turn to other currently brodcasted shows and tell how much each one sucks and why they suck.

Yep, thats what I would do if I was rich, fuck world hunger, I want something entertaining..heh

So as I'm channel surfing through the channles, something I have brought to an art form so intense it has been known to send people into epileptic seizures. And I come across VH1, and theres this little short news story about Madonna.

Seems she will be a new entry in the encyclopedia britanica in the most recent set. Of course everyone on the streets they asked how they felt about this, said it was great. Then again they all seemed to have this glazed look in there eyes as there heavily consumer driven minds spouted out the least offense thing they could think of.

Its not that I'm saying she SHOULDN'T be in there, but come on. What does this say about our culture when the biggest new contribution to an encyclopedia is some singer who rocked the boat while showing us more flesh then some of us see on our own bodies. Yeah, she is a hotty, but don't we have anything else signifigant during our time that would go in there. Maybe something global effecting that isn't mass marketed and stream lined across every radio and television wave and on every hip, young magazine cover out there.

I don't know, call me wacky, but I find it to be sad times when all we can seem to contribute is aging rock stars to book of knowledge.

Now the piece of ironic fun they pointed out I found to be preaty damn funny. Shortly after the Madonna entry in the encylopedia sit the entry for roman catholicism.

Oh, thats just pure gold I'm telling you, PURE GOLD!!

Of course I have to wonder HOW informative these encylopedias REALLY are when you jump from the early MA to RO in the books. Either this doesn't go in alphabetical order, like EVERY other one before it, or we are seeing some serious cut backs on subjects just to pay out the royalty checks to Madonna for use of her name,image, and any other copyrighted information.

EDITOR: Ok, so we find ourselves over budgeted on this project by a couple million dollars or twenty. Ok people, so we need to elimanate a few subjects to cut down on the price, what are your suggestions?

WRITER1: Oh, how about we cut out Mangolians, they haven't done anything intersting in a few hundred years.

EDITOR: Ok, good thinking, what else?

WRITER2: What if we elimanated the history of the olympics. I mean, its on television every two years now, do we REALLY need to keep that in since its still on tv?

EDITOR: Good point, while we are at it, lets slash out anything related with olympic events and metals holders, we should save a bundle on this. Any other suggestions.

WRITER1: How about we elimnate World War II and the Holocaust. There is enough movies out there that by now we ALL know the story.

EDITOR: Good thinking, that will definetly make it easy on us when we send Madonna her next royalty check so she can purchase a third world country and rename it Madonnaroma.

Yeah, it must have been something like that.

Should send all Madonna fans screaming to the book stores, greedily snatching up every encylopedia they find.

Aaaahhhhhhhhhh money, how it makes the world go round and round.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003