Well, I blame my new perscription of darvoset for fucking up my life even more. I can't even tell if it helps my back pain at all since I seem to be perpetually tired when I'm taking that shit. So I'vee been spending the past several days fightin the urge to go to bed, or sleeping. So I haven't had the time or the stamina to try and crank out a new diary entry.

BUT, I'm back now and all three of you people who read this must be jumping for joy....

or shrugging in a noncomital way....either way I'm gettin a few more hits.

This is how bad the darvoset has been messing with me. Spanky's band, Stone Hog, played a gig this past weekend. With this new thing that Spanky bought, the sound is cranked out at like twice the volume. So the shit was REALLY fucking loud. Despite this fact I was dragging ass for the last three hours of the show. To the point I realized with my head cupped in my hand, elbow propped on the table, I was passing out.

My god, how could I be sleeping through THAT? Then again I have passed out with Slayer playing full blast in my ears before.

Come this June 11th, I'm going to be one happy, broke mofo.

Thats the date Korn's untouchable's, there fifth CD comes out, and damn if I'm not all so excited I'm feeling a tingling sensation in my nether regions.

So, I have already set aside in my mind enough cash from future funds to purchase said CD on the release date.

Ah, but now I've come to find out that not only is that the release date of there CD, but they will also be releasing a behind the scenes of Korn on DVD on the same day.

Oh christ....I'm so giddy I'm going to freakin piss myself.

Of course, finacially speaking, I'm cringing inside. I'm assuming if I want both these things, thats going to run me around fourty bucks.

Fourty freakin dollars...

When right now I couldn't afford to buy a pack of starburst if my life depended on fruity pieces of a wax like substance.

Which in all likely probably means I'm going to have to do what I did on the last two CD's they came out with. Sort through my collection and pick out the now "this is shitty, why the hell did I buy it in the first place" CD's so I can exchange them for in store credit.

Now I first started getting into Korn about seven going on to eight years ago. I managed to catch there first video on late night MTV *back when they actually showed videos rather then real world, road rules, or real world vs road rules marathons*.

I feel in love with the grinding drop D sounds of there guitars, the heavy kick of the drums, and the growling and gritty voice of Jonathon Davis. The music pulled me in hard, playing to me like no other band has ever plaeyd to me before. Then, I sat down and really listened to the lyrics, a tough thing to do during the first two albums.

I listened and I heard so much of my life, my pain in the lyrics, felt it in his voice. The anger, the frustration, the torment of his life, I could associate with on so many levels.

This about roughly a year after I got out of high school so I was still reeling from the hell that my teenage years where to me.

I heard there first album all the way through and I knew I had to have that as my own. Seeing as this was about the time I started converting from tapes to CDs, I made this one of my first CD buys.

Actually, I did the stupid thing and joined one of those CD clubs, 12 CDS for a penny, and thats how I got it. And for something like eight months straight, that CD lived comfortably in my CD player put on repeat all for hours on end. After a couple weeks, I would pull the CD out so i wouldn't burn myself out on it. Then I'd look at all my other CDs, then five minutes later that Korn disk was right back in my CD player.

I couldn't get enough of it....I have never felt a band effect me or come so close to me in my life. It was almost like a spritual and emotional wake up call for me. I knew a lot of people had gone through there life as bad or worse then I have, but to hear it so raw so in your face as I did when I listened to them....I can't quite explain how that feels.

So, since then, and with each following album, I have come to love Korn more and more in my life. When so many people berate them and put them down. When so many people stop listening to them cause they're not as "hard core" as they used to be. When the reached such a popularity that even jocks and wannabes where listening to them, I was there and staying loyal.

I actually once had someone tell me, "you know, all the wannabes are listening to Korn now." As if I'm listening to it for some rebelious reason and that knowing it has become more "main stream" will make me stop liking them. Of course this guy I'm talking about is always looking for ways to try and fuck with what you like and he doesn't. So I looked at him and said, "I was listening to them way before they even heard of them. I'm listening to them as they blast it at there school dances and parties. And I'll be listening to them far past the time they stop listening and pawn off the CD. To them its the new fad, to me its something deeper and more meaningfull."

Shut him up real fast....

I'm not so passionate about many things in my life. Its a short list and those few things I feel a undying bond with them. I've connect with it in ways I can't explain to people. In a way that I actually get offened at the slightest degradation, to the point I can feel like its a personal jab at me.

Korn, Star Wars, Kevin Smith films, and Stephen King are all I can think of that is on that list.

I hate sounding like a pathetic fan boy, but I only have so many true loves in my life, so I take them as I get them and embrace them with all my heart and soul.

So next time you see a manical Korn fan with more piercings then common sense. Remember, there are some of us fans who aren't just about slam dancing and acting like a complete moron.

Some of us actually hear the music, not just listen to it.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003