I'm currently running on two hours sleep in the last thirty some hours. I don't know, I've lost track. It very well could be in the fourty hour market.

Its really an interesting tail why I've gotten so little sleep in the past day and half to two days.

Ok, maybe its not an interesting tail, but I'm trying to keep myself awake a few more hours at least to keep from completely blowing my sleep schedule.

Well not like I haven't already blown my sleep schedule already. Its probably why I'm in this mess in the first place.

So I decided last night I've staying up way to late as of late, even for me.

Ok, in case you are wondering whats "to late" even for me. Imagine whats to late for you to stay up is. Now add on another eight or ten hours of that.

Got a day job that starts early in the morning? Make that twelve to sixteen hours.

I also have to much time on my hands if you haven't noticed.

So I decided this morning hey.....this seeing the morning sun for several hours kind of sucks. How about I attempt to sleep before some people's lunch hour.

Yeah, sounded like a good idea to me.

So I'm laying there on my bed. I got the blanket over the window to block out most of the sun. Old, ratty feather pillow missing like half its feathers resting comfortably over my eyes. Love that pillow for that, it molds to my face and blocks all semblance of "normal life". Sure its got a bunch of feather tips sticking out along the seams, which doesn't feel to good. I feel like my face just got caught in some malicious Chinese torture device dealing with sticking my head in a tub of very sharp and pointy chicken feathers.

Yeah, have I ever told you when I'm REALLY tired I get kind of goofey and make even less sense at times?

Just felt like clearing that up right now.

Pillow over my eyes as I lay there in bed. Visions of VH1's porn to rock dancing in my head.

I'm finally reaching that numb state where your brain is just active enough to register reality, but your body is already frolocking through the orgy of all the unatainable sexual desires you repress in your normal life so your mind doesn't freak on you and force you to rob a Starbucks at gun point.

Just me huh?

Yeah...

So I do my normal reutine when my brain is still active while my body is telling it to "SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! I'M FUCKING TIRED DUDE!" Which is to try and just think up some fantasy world so I'm not distracted by the agrevations of reality which will just get me awake.

Then about two hours later *I checked the clock* I felt myself being forced back awake. That feeling like your deep down in the ocean and your slowly and uncontrolably drifting back to the surface.

Normally when this happens, its my brain remembering some key thing I HAD to do before going to bed. Like making sure someone knows the money will be there later in the week so please don't shut off my electric/gas/cable/phone/internet connection.

Just something I have to do or I'll wake up wondering why its so dark in my apartment or why I can't seem to get shit on my television.

Only, and this is a real laugh riot, there is absolutely NOTHING like that going on here. No bills that HAVE to be payed, just payed them little over a week ago. Rent is payed, I got all my shit together.

Yeah, I have to go shopping for groceries this week, but it aint that. I got my ride scheduled, my grocery list kicked out, its all handled.

So aparently my brain decided that two hours sleep.....eh, thats good enough asshole, wake the fuck up.

ME: What the hell do you want?

My Brain: Dude, I need a cigarette.

ME: WHAT!?!

My Brain: Seriously man, its been two hours, I'm dying here.

ME: I'll make a fresh one after I sleep a couple more hours.

My Brain: I gotta pee.

ME: *grumbles We do not.

My Brain: No seriously, if you don't get out of bed now we are gonna have an Exxon Valdese kind of moment. Only, I don't think anyones gonna wanna clean off the fuzzy little animals after this.

ME: Dude....sleeping here.

My Brain: Yeah....sorry about that.

*few moments of silence as I atempt to struggle back to sleep*

My Brain: Hey! Where did we put that Stephen King/Peter Straub book the Black House?

ME: Fuck if I know .....I can't seem to find it.

My Brain: Yeah, now I remember. Hey, since your up. How about we go play some Dune 2000 on the playstation.

ME: Man, I own that fucking game. Its not like it has to go back today.

My Brain: I know man, but I got a serious need to build fortifications and stomp my enemies ass with superiour amount of fire power. Plus, its got that big dude from that show Sliders in the cut scenes.

ME: FUCKING HELL WOULD LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!

My Brain: heh....good luck with that buddy. I'm just gonna be back here somewhere contemplating useless shit, over analyzing it, and fixating nervously about all the stupid shit in the world I can't control. Have fun with your nap.

ME: FINE! I'm awake now, are you fucking happy!

My Brain: That depends, you making me a cigarette?

Fucking christ, I hate my brain sometimes.

Ok, I REALLY need to get around to shaving my face. I'm begining to feel all shaggy here like I'm actually what my user name here is a play on.

Alright, now that I think about this one. This might take some explaining, especially to the new people here.

Hell, I'm not even sure if I ever explained the origions of my user name.

You see, my name is a play on words of prehistoric man aka Cro Magnon Man. Only it updated.

Sort of a statement on today's culture. Instead of being born with a slopping forehead and a unibrow. I was born with a gun in my hand and an additude that proclaims I'm willling to use it.

So in case any of you where wondering, no its not some lame attempt at a sexual refrence here. By no means am I saying I have a big, shiny penis cocked and loaded.

Pun intended.

And no, its not a play off joke on Trojan condom comercials. You know the ones I'm talking about where Trojan man rides up to talk to some hapless couple about the wonders of Trojan Condoms and you hear voices sing out TROJAN MAN!

Nope, has nothing to do with that either.

Anyways, back to the whole shaving bit...

So I'm in desperate need of stop being a lazy shit and finally shave this shit off.

Waking up, my long hair all tangled and wild looking. My brain only capable of the most simple thought process like "should I scratch at my beard or at my nuts first?"

I begin to feel like I should be running in the wild tundra in only my bear rug loin cloth. Clutching my make shift spear with the cruedly shaped stone spear head. Declaring my home by raising a leg and pissing on the nearest tree.

Then my mind wakes up enough to get imaginative, but still be in the depths of what I call "drozy weirdness". So soon I'm imagining myself the focus of a Discovery channel documentry. Maybe being watched by the Crocidle Hunter to check out the mating habits of the average shaggy homo sapien.

Oi, we have stumbled across a glorious discovery here! We have come across a very rare band of shaggy homo sapiens in the wild!

Krikey! I think we are about to witness a key ritual in the setting of there heirarchy! A young upstart seems to be trying to prove himself as alpha male over our pal Chromey!

Lookey here, he has beatin Chromey's best time at beating Resident Evil 3! Thats not good for are current running aplha male, mate.

Oi, Chromey has shown his disaproval of this upstart by flnging his poo at his head! Krikey, this is a very rare sighting!

Wait.....cut.....is he masturbating to that new Shakira video?

Yeah, I really think I have to much time on my hands.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003