If anything write for me cause you love me.

Well love me or do strange and kinky things to me in a back alley way with presciption medication and fruity flavored drinks.

Either one, I get them comfused sometimes.

Did I happen to mention to you all that bisa-pet absolutely rocks the boat house!

Yep, you heard it here folks. She puts the bing in badda bing. She puts the bang in shebang. She puts the sugar in the "give me some sugar, baby."

Ok so I couldn't think of any decent anaologies. So sue me.

Thanks to a lengthy conversation last night. I now have what I think is a pretty good idea for a book. Dare I even say a pretty damn good book if I can pull it all off.

I'm not going to go into details what this book is about on here though. I don't want anyone reading it and ripping off the idea from me.

Yeah, you think I'm to paranoid about that huh. Well let me tell you buddy. It wouldn't be the first time it happened.

You let one set of brothers get a look at a book treatment you have lined up and next thing you know they make a ground breaking movie out of it staring Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne.

Rat bastards...and you got the name all wrong too!

Fuckers.

Anyways....

So go have a lookey at bisa-pet's, aka my muse, diary and tell her that Chrome sent ya.

And once again I reiterate....

I call dibs.

So I decided to go buy me a new pillow. Because franky I'm sick and tired of three really flat pillows that give shit for head and neck support.

So I decided to catch a ride to Walmart with Prego. Ok I can't call her Prego on here anymore cause she hasn't been pregnent for quite awhile. So for now on I'm calling here Mother of Poopy Pants, or MOPP for short. Cause I swear that kid of hers can put away three times his body weight of formula. Then crap out the equivelent of four times his body weight.

The formula for this absolutely baffles me, but man that kid can crap a lot. Not to mention he has enough gas going on at both ends to compete with any Sunday arm chair quarterback pounding away the beers and stuffing his maw with bratwursts and chilli.

The kid can rip burps, that I swear, can make his gums flap in the breeze. Not to mention the soft rumble that is his farts. Which have a stink to them that can only be classified as "level five biohazard".

Though he is a cute little bugger. Don't get me wrong here. I just really need to invest in a set of those nose plugs you see on competion swimmers.

Anyways, back to my pillow story.

Oh and I have a solution for two diarylanders who seem to visit Walmart on occasion and have a problem dealing with people who are questionable a few rungs down the evolutionary chart then the rest of us.

Go really, really late. I think thats when they hybernate or something cause this Walmart was practically dead.

So MOPP tells me about a sale with pillows, five dollars a piece. Oh I got to take advantage of that. Maybe even get me two pillows.

Living the high life people. I'm telling you.

Making my way to linens department. I find said pillows in this tall cage like tower in the middle of the isle. The angle I aproached the tower I couldn't see any kind of opening to get the pillows out.

So there I am clenching on to the gates of the tower, shaking it as I grumble "how the hell do you get into this damn thing." Reinacting every prison movie I've ever seen.

"I DIDN'T DO IT YOU RAT BASTARDS!!!"

*rattles the cage violently*

"YOU GOT AN INNOCENT MAN HERE!!"

Yeah, about half way through my rant. MOPP shows me the convent opening on the OTHER side of the tower that I had missed.

Oh, yeah....I was going to get to that....eventually.

After I stop scaring off the employees who I was quite sure where one button away from dialing 911. I decided to check out the pillow, or as it turned out, pillows in question.

Two distinctly different pillows for the same sales price. Now how does one judge if a pillow is worthy of craddling your head so gently while lost in bissfull dreams of naked twister with Shakira and Britney Spears.

Its a tough one to call I'm telling you.

So I did the only thing I could think of. Pressed the pillow against my head then leaned into the tower. Closing my eyes to try and get a feel for each of the pillows.

Well they both seem equally good, but which one will stand the test of time.

Thats when MOPP runs back to me all excidetly to tell me about another deal for bigger, better pillows.

I'm so there.

Just as I turned the corner I saw the aisle best classified as "pillowy heaven". All sorts of pillows in all different sizes and shapes. I struggle to keep from dropping to my knees and worshiping the aisle for its diety like qualities.

So I'm looking at the other pillows she had mentioned. Seven dollars a piece, but so much bigger and fluffier. Yeah and extra two dollars isn't a problem for this much more comfort.

Then I noticed the sale was for a different pillow in the same line. This one costing twice the price then I thought.

Ok, its a nice pillow, but not that nice.

Then I spotted the holy creators of great pillows a few feet down.

King and Queen sized pillows.

*holy choir raises there voice in the background as a shining, golden light rains down on the mighty pillows*

The mother load my friends.

Imiedately I think I need that big bad boy king sized pillow. Tell I looked at the twenty four dollar price tag and realized eh...I didn't need it THAT much. The sixteen dollar price tag on the Queen sized pillow...yeah now we are talking.

Sure its only a seven dollar difference in the price, but I orginally came in there with the intentions of spending five bucks. Possibly ten bucks on two. Now I'm paying more then three times the price of one of the sales pillows for the bigger, nicer, fluffier queen sized pillow.

Then I remember something I've been meaning to do for awhile now. My bread spread is nearly perfect. I have matching pillow cases and fitted sheet. A deep, forest green. A comforter of a lighter shade of green and a electronic blanket, which goes over the comforter, a matching forest green to the pillow cases and sheets.

Problem is, my sheet is a deep shade of blue. Just doesn't go well with the look of my bed. Throws it off a little really.

So I step over and aisle and check out if I can find a sheet the same shade of green as the rest of my sheets.

Holy shit! I had no clue how expensive this shit can be.

One sheet to finish off my bed spread. Fifteen fucking dollars. Oh sure, that doesn't sound like much, but I'm on a tight budget. And it freaked me a bit when I was thinking it was going to be around six or seven dollars.

Goes to show you how little I know about the prices of bed sheets.

Complete sets where around twenty five to fourty dollars. I'm swooning here as I realize I'm way out of my price range here.

There goes my idea of being a second set of sheets for my bed in a different color.

Not to mention those prized high thread count sheets that Weetabix has mentioned often are unbelievably expensive.

Fuck, ok maybe not expensive to a lot of people, but man I'm trying to save a little money here.

Thats about time where I say fuck it..new pillow is good enough. At this point I don't give a shit if my sheets don't completely match. Not like I have to worry about anyone else seeing it.

Though knowing the bitter irony that is my life. I'll probably find some super charged hoty dying to take me to bed. Then to be completely aghast at ill matching bed sheets and loss all desire to treat me like the twenty five cent ridding bronco.

Yeah...maybe I should re-think this shit.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003