Though I never said I was completely rational though.

Anyways, guess where I went last night?!

For those of you who just said a hooker because I'm in obvious need of one..got one thing for ya.

shuddup...wise ass.

I went to the casino! Which amazingly enough is a lot like going to a hooker cause you go and pay to get screwed.

Alright, so you where close....shuddup.

I was aproached by my close friends and neighbors MOPP and Dragonhawke about going to the casino sometime this week. Seeing as they had room in the car they asked if I would like to come along with.

Hell, I've never been to one. Lets toss this puppy on the stove and see if it fries. When I say puppy I really mean "my ass" and when I say fries I really mean "see how broke it gets".

The two of them where going on and on about the system of the nickle slot machines and all the types there are there. What I was hearing aparently was"its like video games all so shiny!"

Seeing as Michigan is trying to be the indian version of Reno, there is all sorts of casinos all around this state. One of them being little over a half hour drive away from me. One which is putting a hotel and a day care center.

Luxurious convience as you gamble your life away. Ah you smell that, thats the smell of yet another one of there fine customers hanging themselves in the lobby bathroom after gambling away there mortage.

First thing I notice about the place coming through the front entrance is that it likes a damn fine place to relax. That is if you don't go past the service desk and can drown out the sounds of hundreds of slot machines going off at once and some poor fucker weeping openly in a far corner.

Large brick fire place with towel steple like ceilings. Over sized leather chairs with stained wood arms. Quiet, relaxed atmosphere that you could just sit there with a nice cup of cocco, a good book, and a warm comforter. That is if you can ignore the long time gamblers crashed out from mental exhaustion in there sweet stained shirts reeking of desperation.

First thing we do is head over to this desk where you sign up to get an offical casino card registered to you. When you play the slots you slip this card in and it keeps tracks of how many credits you get to purchase nifty prizes.

Basically this breaks down to you spending a fortune gambling and if you spend enough money. You get credits which you can turn in for cheap little prizes not even worth a quarter of the money you spent to get said prize.

Comes with a nifty little colored spring cord and clasp to hook onto your belt lope. Yeah, that makes it well worth it.

The slot machines of various different themes from game shows to movies, from video games to board games. From what I remember I saw slot machines for Austin Powers, Pac-Man, Monoply, Hollywood Squares, Clue, Harley Davidson, Popeye, and so many more I can't even remember.

I had fourty bucks on me and was ready to bankrupt this place with good ol beginers luck ba-by!!

Ok, so I wasn't that ignorant. I realized there was a high probability I wouldn't walk away with jack shit and quite franky I was right.

Of the slot machines I played the only one that even got me anywhere was the Pac-Man slot machine. Slipped in five bucks which is a hundred credits and had managed to rack up over four hundred credits in ten minutes.

Did I cash out at that point?

Oh hell no, I'm sure I could win more money. Hell, I just quadrabled my money and so far three people sitting next to me have gotter over a thousand credits. That sounds good to me.

Fifteen minutes later I'm out of credits.....damn.

By now I've spent half my money on slot machines and fucked up by not evening out with the Pac-Man machine. Thats when I went walking around to look for either Dragonhawke or MOPP and see what they where up to. Finding Dragonhawke we decided to go look for his wife together who happened to be at the only open craps table at that time of night.

Now craps seemed really slow that night, but I'll tell you black jack sure as hell wasn't. Just about every black jack table was filled to the brim with players and only a handfull of the table weren't in operation. First black jack table I see, minimum five hundred dollar bets. Yeesh, not for me buddy.

So I'm standing there watching the people crowded on the other side of the table tossing the dice and winning big bucks. At this point I don't have a fucking clue whats going on. I've never played craps before what the hell is the high low yo shit they keep saying??

As I'm standing there watching the game, trying to get a feel for what the hell was going on. I was talking to this guy who was friends with one of the high rollers on the other end of the table. Walked in the casino with twenty bucks and was currently up to thirty two hundred dollars.

I've spent twenty bucks and all I got was a lot of flashy colors and a need to smash something expensive.

So I'm watching and asking questions of MOPP who knows the game so I know what the fuck this shit they where saying meant. A little bit later they open up our end of the craps table for bets.

Hell, I feel like playing like a high roller for a bit. So I get me twenty bucks worth of chips, which is only four chips since it was minimum five dollar bet.

I decided to play the easy bet which is the field. This means any time the roll comes up to 3, 5, 7, 9, or 11 it doubles your bet. If a hard two *snake eyes* or a hard twelve *box cars* comes up, triple your bet. I'm on and off playing this, gaining five bucks here, losing it there. Finally I'm done to ten bucks when I get asked if I want to give the dice a roll.

Me? I get to touch the dice??

So I pick two out of five dice, place my bet on the field and get ready to toss the dice. Thats when this employee in a suit who was taking care of the large area of chips stood up and slammed his open palm on the middle of the table three times.

I thought he was signaling for the gladiators to come out and spear us or some shit. Turns out I had touched my hands together while holding the dice which is a big no no in the game of craps.

Yeah, high roller here people. Stand back, you might get burned.

After handing over the dice for him to inspect to make sure I didn't replace them with loaded dice. I gave them a good toss down the board.

I was doing real good at this point while I was rolling the dice. Turned my ten bucks into fourty dollars. Then I rolled a seven which means a new roller that or they caught wind of my silent but deadly fart of pure excitment.

Either way I wasn't tossing the dice anymore.

I kept playing the field when the dice got handed over to a guy who I had watched roll eleven fields right in a row before I touched the dice. Thats when the asshole rolled five hard eights right in a row.

As you could see earlier, eight wasn't one of the numbers in the field. So there went me evening out and then earning a bit of extra cash.

Personally I don't forsee myself going back for a long time. And even then I'm not going unless I have a decent amount of discretionary cash and not in need of something important like clothes, bills, or food.

Thankfully I wasn't stupid enough to spend up all my money and kept enough tucked away to handle all I needed. Just means pappa won't be buying that playstation 2 he had been invisioning.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003