Now at first this was kind of cute. Baby G staring at me with these big, fascinated eyes as if he is wondering who and possibly what I am. It started off cute, but now it�s kind of creeping me out. I live right next door to them it�s not like he hasn�t seen me a million times already. Still every time I�m in the room he�ll stare at me for minutes on end with fascination he doesn�t hold for anything else. Normally Baby G just doesn�t have the attention span to do anything for more then thirty seconds at a time.

He stares at me it�s like a test of endurance for him. Then his little baby mind wonders and a shiny object or a strange noise attracts his attention, but not for long. A minute or two later he�s right back at staring at me.

What the fuck, Baby G. Do I have something hanging from my noise? Is my hair out of place? Do I remind you of the asshole who yanked out of the warm womb that is your mom? WHAT??

He is getting old enough that he can stand with some assistance. Either mom or dad holds him up or he props himself against the closest immovable object.

So a couple days ago Ex-Prego comes over with Baby G in her arms to talk to me about some things, hang out for awhile. She sets Baby G on the floor and the first place he wants to lean up against, the arm of my chair. So there he is all foot and a half of him, leaning against my chair, staring up at me with those dark eyes.

That�s about when me and Baby G had ourselves a little �talking�.

ME: So, what�s happening little guy?

Baby G: *staring blankly*

ME: Yeah I hear ya. Those diaper rashes can be a real bitch. Here�s a tip little man, baby powder, it�s the miracle cure.

Baby G: *coos at me adoringly*

ME: No shit? Listen, next time Daddy �accidentally� pings your head off the wall because he doesn�t realize how close the walls is to the back of the couch. This is what you are going to do. Bring up the water works double quick, but don�t let out a noise. Screw up your face as if a whale loud enough to be heard from space is caught in your throat. When Daddy leans in to hug you because he�s so sorry, pimp slap him a good one. Trust me it�s the only way Daddy is going to learn.

Baby G: *lets out a small squeak and a little drool which is baby talk for �I dig your ditch, man.�*

ME: Now tell me little man because I have to know. Why the funk are you staring at me so much? Seriously little dude it�s creeping my shit out.

Baby G: *gets distracted by my shiny double chain wallet hanging from my side and tries to use the key chain on it as a teething ring.*

ME: Oh, I see. Trying to play coy with me are you. Well I�m on to you little man. I�ve caught on to your mind games and they�re not going to work. You hear me, aint happening dude.

Baby G: *just stares at me without blinking*

ME: Alright, fine, be that way. Let�s just see how you like it when it rolls around to your birthday and you don�t get a gift from your favorite �uncle�.

Baby G: *eyes squelch up as if he�s about ready to cry*

ME: Oh man I didn�t really mean that, Baby G. Your uncle Chromey was only kidding you little guy. Ah shit, ok go ahead and keep on staring at me if that�s your kick.

So now I�m losing arguments with babies. I�d be such a push over father.

And one final note, congratulations Angeline on winning DS4.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003