Well we here at Lifeless Wannabes can fix all that for you!

See we are under the �belief� life is a rotting cess pool filled with human degradation and ham fisted insults. That life is dark, bleak, and filled with icky icky bad juju. And with our pooled resources of teenage angst mingled with deformations of our grey matter we too can make you realize this!

It�s quite simple, really. For no other reason then because we have absolutely nothing better to do with our time or contribute anything worth while to humanity in general. We gladly take up the cause of blatantly slandering your character and anyone who dares care what happens to you with no need of concrete evidence! See we are very adept of living lives in our own little delusional worlds in what�s left of our brains. Thus using this material to make up shit about you then use it to make fun of you!

Please don�t thank us until we are done giving you our sales pitch.

Keep in mind this is at no cost to you other then your very own peace of mind and any dignity you foolishly cling on to.

BUT!

As an added extra bonus we so lovingly, and freely, give to you. We will improve your belief about your own intelligence. Yes we have taken all our combined educations and thrown them right out the window! Instead we smear your character by reverting back to when we where merely thirteen years old! Throw in the teenager�s �nobody understands me and the world is against me!� A dash of Goth �dread our mournful souls as life is a deep, dark, black pit of despair and no one gets us� mentality. With a pinch of sand box slamming �you stink dirty dodo head!� And you got everything you could ever wish for to remind you that Junior High School education doesn�t go to waste!

Oh and don�t bother to remind us of our own blinding hypocrisy. We have spent many years with a Zen master teaching us how to shut down our ability to understand even the most obvious truth! We do encourage you to try pointing out the truth about our hypocrisy and insincerity. It helps our very short attention spans from years of eating lead paint chips and running into walls head first to test for wall studs. You can not fathom how quickly our tiny little minds forget things we are do�

So�um�.oh yeah!

If you feel to content with your life and need reminding how bad existence can be. Ignoring the fact people die by the thousands every single day and that at any moment we could stupidly end all of humanity with a simple push of a button. Just come on over to Lifeless Wannabes and give us a sign you are in need of our services!

Common signs to give would be as listed:

1. Insult one of us after we, as a group, completely besmirched one of your friends.

2. Tell us how nasty we all are.

3. Remind us that life has meaning outside of the internet and things will never get better with people like us in the world.

4. Give us any kind of helpful criticism.

5. Simply exist.

We really do hate when you insist on doing number five.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003