So this time I�ve extended my game playing time into several hours. Well into the �good god I think the sun is above me now� hours.

Yet it was all worth it when caught the ending of Silent Hill 2 after thoroughly spanking its ass!

Ok so I was forced to consult a walk through a time or�thirty times.

Which I absolutely hate doing because I really prefer going at it blind and trying to figure it out on my own. I did start doing this, but so many times when I came across puzzles or missed key things because everything is grainy and dark. I was forced to find an online walk through to get me over the rough patches.

And yes I�m not afraid to admit when it was three in the morning and all the lights are out the game got to me. Constantly with the freaky music and that god damn radio going off every time something nasty is near me. Add on that and the sudden, loud, and abusive noise during the rare moments of complete silence. Oh and the fucking heart beat!

That damn heart beating!

Every time you are injured just enough it would make the controller vibrate to his heart beat. The more injured he became, the hard it rattled.

Yet the hard rattling wasn�t the pain in the ass. It�s the so soft you have to pause for a minute to figure out if it�s actually vibrating or is that your own god damn heart beat.

Seriously I know a lot of you probably just don�t get how a game like this can creep your shit out.

All I have to say is I invite you to empty out your home of everyone *not you, Slappy I mean everyone who�s not YOU.* Unplug your phone and put up a �do not disturb or I�ll rip your arms off and shove them up your ass� sign on your door. Then turn out all the lights and turn up the volume on your television.

Play this game for roughly six hours and get good and tired while your doing it that sleep deprivation kicks in and starts playing tricks on your brain like a doped up Richard Simmons wearing the gaudiest outfit ever to exist as the fucker hides in your closet and pops out at you with a big, happy �get in shape, tubby!� loud cry when all you are doing is spending a quiet day peacefully putting your linens and shit away.

THEN come back to me and tell me your shits together and not currently smearing the back of your favorite Scooby Do underoos.

Oh and when I say make sure all the lights are out. Don�t go and cheat by playing the game in the middle of the day. I�m sayin do it up right and make it the middle of the night.

And if all possible put your back to an open door way of a room easily accessible from the front door. So you get that great �what the fuck is going on behind me�and where the fuck is that human like shadow on the wall coming from!� feel of nurturing safety and stupendous joy!

At least that�s what I did while playing this game. Not on purpose, mind you, but that�s just how my chair is set up regularly.

Didn�t help something heavy crashed to the floor just as something big and nasty jumped my character which brought the moment from stunningly silent to �holy fuck I think I just felt my ear drums pop� loud.

God damn you heavy pan! Yes I did put you on the table in a very precarious, near the edge, and tilted at an angle position. Still was it really necessary of you to crash to the floor at just that moment?

Bloody hell I nearly soiled myself.

Bastard.

Speaking of sleep deprivation, how easy is it to tell I�m suffereing from it pretty good right now?

Case in point.

I�ve been cruising my humble abode for the past few days in my brand new, larger then life black sweat pants with convenient pockets.

And since I was dieing to have a pair in black I had to step up the size a couple notches more then I need. This turned out good because I managed to find the one pair of sweat pants that were two dollars cheaper then all the rest of the sweat pants, even the ones of lesser size.

Let me tell ya, these puppies are freakin huge!

I didn�t quite appreciate how big these sweat pants are till the moment I stopped being overly tired and started being goofy tired.

See I was making my way to the bathroom when I gave my sweat pants a good tug up since the wallet, pocket knife, and large assortment of change is weighing them down. So I grabbed the top and gave it a good yank. That�s when I realized the fucker can come up to my freakin chest!

And that, my friends, was the birth of a new impersonation I came up. Proudly brought to you by the incoherent ramblings of my sleep deprived mind.

Mind you this impersonation looses a lot in translation here. It�s much funnier to see then to read about it.

At least I think it does, but then again I�m sleep deprived. I could find anything funny at this moment.

It�s a simple impersonation really. The �role is� I�m starting off as bitter constempated old man who suddenly gets a case of the shits at land speed records then resigns himself to a pant load of liquidy poo.

It starts off with me yanking these sweat pants up to my arm pits then slouching over as I pucker my lips and lick them �old man with no teeth� like and a sour expression on my face.

Then my eyes fly open in surprise, mouth rounding to an O that goes with the sudden �OH!� noise coming out of my mouth as my whole body stiffens and my ass quivers.

Then I wave a non-commital hand in the air like I�m to tired to carry a tooth pick while mumbling �eh� in my best bitter old man voice. And I go right back to slouching while puckering my lips and lickin my chops like I miss the days that my teeth where not in a jar by my bed.

Seriously it�s much funnier in real life. I even cracked myself up while going myself a geek for laughing so hard over this.

Then again�I�m overly tired.

Anything could be funny to me. I could be watching Craig Kilborn and be laughing my ass of at this moment.

Wait...even I at my goofest sleep deprived wouldn�t laugh at that man.

I do have my standards, you know.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003