Well other then me whining every 2.3 seconds as I try and peal myself off my chair.

It being hot out that means some guy is going to take an egg out to the side walk. He is going to crack it open, dumb it on the ground, take a picture of it cooking on the hot cement, and then call it the �article that has officially started the summer time.�

Because seriously when I think of summer I think of warm eggs with a hint of dog shit flavor and overly used clich�s.

Actually what I really think of summer other then watching my ass melt, which isn�t necessarily a bad thing in the long run. That would be seeing this small ass town absolutely explode in population.

I don�t know what it is about this town, but so many people come to spend vacations here. Especially around the fourth of July for what I can only assume is for that �quaint small town feel vacation,� kind of thing.

From about fall time to New Years Day things slow down considerably. So many people escape this back woods little town and head back to infest whatever area they call home. Only to return back again to breach the cold weather so they may spend family time during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

But once you get past those holidays and the weather gets colder then Abominable Snowman�s ass they you see who truly lives here. Not much to look at as we all huddle in our homes like bears hibernating in our caves. Occasionally venturing outside in the wee hours in the morning to get your car warmed up as you eat breakfast.

And yes I do happen to live in a town where people feel safe enough to leave there cars running, alone, in there drive ways or even in parking lots. If I was a man of lesser morals I would have taught several dozen people a hard lesson and that is don�t trust your fucking car running when you or no one you trust is around.

Then the snow slowly begins to melt away till we are left with the hard packed snow piled up out of the way. The snow pushed away from so many roads and parking lots that defy its nature. It mocks the sun�s baking rays as it sits proudly, well not so much since very pile is mixed with dirt and car exhaust, in its pile refusing to completely vanish.

And when that last defiant pile of snow finally bends to the all mighty will of the big burner in the sky. That is almost like a starter�s gun for all tourists and �winter/summer homes� people to get on your mark, get ready, and fill the town up with your unwashed masses!

That is when we town folks crawl out of our respective caves/apartments and/or houses. We rub at our sun blinded eyes, trying to adjust our pupils to the sudden blaring light that is all around. We rejoice as not only can we see the grass, but it�s all growing a lovely shade of vibrant green. So one day it may grow long enough for someone to take there lawn mower to it and fill there neighborhood with the rich, robust scent of freshly cut grass.

The color returns to our world as flowers grow, leaves come back, and the wild life once again ventures out for food and fun.

Then, like almost hearing the beginning of a stampede, we turn our heads and see the on coming rampage that is our tourist population. The same ones who fill up entire sections of parking lots that allow overnight parking with there big, shiny, and very tacky mobile homes. The same people who turn our easy to transverse road and freeways into a blundering hell of aggravation. The exact same people who have turned your �family dinner out� night from a forty five minutes two hours of there loud, brass, nauseating voices that are only matched and out done by there cumbersome little pygmy children.

And as a town we see this, we know this, we have lived through this. Yet we still look at it each time and silently mumble to ourselves the same words that pass across the lips of each town folk, �oh fuck me.�

That is when our town�s population explodes to a minimum of three times its size like some fucked up Doctor Seuss story.

Such a small town with its beauty and peace

In the winter, this home, I finally got the lease

Then summer comes, in they barge

As the population grew to three times as large.

It is absolutely insane how bad it gets around here. And me being very hermit like this isn�t a very good thing.

Ok I do come out of my �shell� around Fourth of July and enjoy the festivities. Me spending more time outdoors in that one day then I have in the three months before it.

But once I�m past that, go home people the show is over.

Yet inevitably they all stay like a leach stuck to your skin when you can�t find some salt or a book of matches.

Can you tell I loath this time of year? I mean if you can�t tell by that then by all means keep coming for the next three months and read about how I think my ass is permanently glued with sweet to my chair. Or how about me complaining about the always annoying �I�m so sweaty my balls are stuck to my leg.�

That or you could just buy me an air conditioner and pay my electric bill. Which ever works better for�.well me.

And to end this diary entry I give to you this.

A completely new use for your Honda.

This just goes to show you that people with way to much time on there hands can in fact earn some big bucks.

There is still hope for me yet.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003