I look like I�m about to say to the camera man �I made boom boom in my pants and it�s all squishy!� like I�m happy about it and shit.

I don�t think I was a very normal child.

Can I just say how much Pizza Hut sucks?

Is that allowed? Will I be hunted down by Pizza Hut assassins for my choice words against there multi-conglomerate or will they just stop sending me coupons?

Anyway I can�t say that the entire corporation of Pizza Hut sucks, but the one in my town sucketh the mosteth cocketh.

See Pizza Hut has this deal going that if you order a large regularly priced pizza you get a free DVD from a small list of DVD�s they have open.

Now this list is short and far from distinguished, but hey it�s a free fucking DVD so how can I pass this up?

Your choices are form All Dogs go to Heaven 2, Bill & Ted�s Bogus Journey, Honeymoon in Vegas, and Mr. Mom.

We are not talking about Oscar caliber movies here by far. In fact the only movie there that peeks my interest at all is Bill & Ted because I still have a thing for those pre-Beavis and Butthead movies.

So I�m finding myself to be hungry earlier, have money in my pocket, and to damn lazy to defrost and cook. I see this deal and I think hell I�m having some good pizza while I watch Keanu Reeves pre-Matrix days when he was known for one single worded line of, �whoa.�

Well I give them a call to make sure this Pizza Hut is doing this deal. I�ve learned already that �only participating stores� caption at the end of all fast food restaurant commercials means this town will sometimes fuck you on the good shit.

They are doing the deal, cool now I�m getting me a free DVD. Appeal to my need for shiny disks, you are a wise pizza joint.

Ah but it turns out Bill & Ted was a very popular choice with this deal. Seems I�m not the only one having a bit of �whoa� nostalgia here. It is so popular that they are completely out of them.

Great now I�m so into this I have to order because I can�t get my mind off of a meat lover�s pizza.

Ok I don�t want a kids freakin movie because quite frankly I stopped being a kid about twenty years ago so All Dogs go to Heaven 2 is out.

I already have Mr. Mom on VHS thanks to a McDonald�s deal many, many years ago. Similar deal as Pizza Hut is doing now, but McDonalds was too cheap to give it to you for free. Just sell it to you at a �reduced� price instead.

I�ve had this tape for about 10 years now, maybe longer then that and I have yet to watch it. It was a cute movie, but I didn�t realize for years after I owned it that I really don�t give a shit to watch it again.

So no Mr. Mom on DVD when I don�t even want to watch it on VHS.

That leaves me with only one option and that is Honeymoon in Vegas. A movie I have yet to see. Sure I kind of wanted to watch it when it first came out, but apparently not enough to even bother renting it.

Fuck it I�m getting the one movie I haven�t seen yet. At least this way I�ll kind of get to watch it for free anytime I want to.

Did I end up getting that movie despite me specifically requesting it?

Nope I got Mr. God Damn Freakin Mom instead. And joy of joys it doesn�t come in a case, but rather a little plastic, very easily destructable envelope.

Great now I got a DVD I don�t care to watch that can easily slip under my DVD player.

Now isn�t that just wonderful.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003