I just crapped my pants. It�s the key to longevity my friend.

I don�t know if any of you have seen this show I�m with Busey, but this has to be the craziest shit you have ever seen. If this man was once sane he obviously sold it off for a coffin full of ice packs so he can �cryogenically freeze� his body to be revived again in the future.

Watch this show for about five minutes and that�s a pretty scary fucking thought let me tell you.

He constantly spews his philosophies on life, government, religion, and history like if he didn�t get them out of his head it would make his brain explode. And we are talking about some of the most off the wall out there philosophies you have ever heard. I mean some of them are so crazy even theory conspiraciests are thinking this man is completely insane. Yet through all this there are a few nuggets of shiny wisdom in which to live by.

That�s if you are not laughing so hard to mask the abject fear and the need to curl into a little ball and whimper.

If that isn�t enough he is completely unpredictable. You never know what he�ll do. One minute he can be talking about the energies in space and the next you could swear he is about ready to punch you in your face.

And that�s the nicest thing he can do to you!

I mean he could be trying to stab you with a spear in a mock battle in his hallway. He could try stabbing you in the chest just to see if you survive it. Hell he could be chasing you around the woods with a fiery stick. You never know.

The man lives in a crazy little world that sits in his head and only he can fully fathom what it all means. You add that onto a deep obsession with death which leads to constant near death experiences and I�m telling you that makes for some great fucking television.

Not since the days of Howard Hughes, a man know for his eccentricities like collecting his own toe nail clippings in a mason jar, has there been a celebrity so out of his mind. Busey is a throw back to the days when anyone in the spot light was �eccentric� by nature. Only he takes it to an all new level of insanity that even his fame and fortune can�t just mark it off as the eccentric behavior of those who entertain us.

This show has to be one of the only things that is possible thanks to reality television being so popular that is any good. The only other thing I can think of along those lines would be Denis Leary�s short lived project on Comedy Central last year mocking Project Green Light.

Right now I�m placing bets that by the end of this show Busey will some how permanently maim this kid Adam. The wiz kid who thought up the whole idea of this show in the first place.

That�s the price you pay, buddy. You want your face out there for others to see then you got to live with the fact that Busey just might eat it off.

Ok now on to something I meant to do about two weeks ago, but kept either forgetting about it or putting it off.

This would be five questions from JustJill as part of this thing that I have completely forgotten what its about. I do know is if someone wants five questions from me they have to state it in my guestbook. Then I post the five questions in your notes *or guest book if your notes are not turned on.* You answer the five questions then post them into my notes when it�s all done.

Though seriously if you answer them on your diary just post a direct link to the entry with the questions instead. That is much easier this way in my opinion.

1. If you had to choose between being totally blind or totally deaf, which would you choose and why?

Let me break this question down to the key essentials of each sense so I may best answer this question.

Do I want to never be able to listen to music ever again or do I want to be able to never watch porn ever again?

Ok I love music it can be soothing to the soul, it can pump you up, and it can set just the right mood. Yet as much as music is appealing to me I�ve got to say never seeing porn again is quite a frightening thought.

First off that means for the rest of my life my masturbatory fantasies are restricted to anything I had seen before losing my sight. Any new fine ladies I see or new sexy lingerie that might be invented I�ll be completely deprived of. And lets face the facts variety is the spice of life. Meaning I�m going to get bored cranking my meat to age old images of Jewel or many of the fine porn star actresses sexing it up for my pleasure.

And what happens if some random orgy pops up? How do I know where to go in the mass of writhing, sweating flesh huh? What if I don�t find out till sometime after the orgy that ass I was spanking with zeal happened to be some guys? How do I explain that shit? Uh�I�m blind dude, next time nudge me towards one of the ladies.

Oh lets not even get into the comedic appeal I would be for so many people. Dress me up in the craziest outfits. I wouldn�t know better if I�m walking out in public wearing a lime green sweater with fuzzy bunnies on it while wearing purple hip waiters. I can�t see you fuckers! Stop picking on me!

So yeah I go with being deaf over being blind. Bonus to that is I no longer have to worry about people pawning off there crappy music to me. Hello! I�m deaf; there is no way I�m hearing that shit!

2. Is there something that you feel so strongly about that you would travel long distances or talk in front of a group of hundreds or thousands of people to defend?

Yes as a mater of fact there is one issue I would stand fast after a great distance of traveling.

*Stands up on his soap box, taps the mic a couple times, then clears his throat*

Today..day..ay�y.

Echo�I mean so many people there, such a large place, you are bound to have an echo.

We, as a people of advanced technology, must put an end to career and possibly life of Tom Green! Yes you heard me if his career can not end I demand his life be taken instead!

As I was flipping through the channels late one night I found on MTV that he now has a new �The Tom Green show�. Seriously don�t Canadians get enough shit from everyone do they really need someone like Tom Green as �weak link� which to exploit.

Plus seriously the man�s only talent is to make a three year old children feel like the new Einstein.

I mean really let the insanity stop. Or at least let it stick strictly to the show �I�m with Busey.�

3. Other than living here in America, what country or place would you like to spend the rest of your life in?

I�m going to actually thieve this idea from Jill because if I remember correctly she answered that she would live in the Star Trek world. To me that makes complete sense.

First off Gene Rodenberry made Earth a futuristic utopia that has a touch of reality since it only came about after such a down fall to society that we had no where else to go but up. No one goes hungry thanks to replicating technology and racism is next to nothing when you got whole different sets of races in which to hate.

And let us not forget the most important reason on which to live the rest of my life out in the Star Trek universe. Holo-deck porn.

Face the facts everyone who first saw Holo-decks put into use on Star Trek the Next Generation immediately though �hey�I betcha that room has to be pornorificly fantastic!� And if you haven�t, and not in this exact words, thought it then I call you a bold face liar! The porn industry is a multi-billion dollar a year industry you can�t tell me that thousands upon thousands of people wouldn�t be clawing for some Holo-deck time just to get there grove on.

Live out every sex fantasy you ever had with a three dimensional woman who looks, feels, smells, and sounds like a real person. The question isn�t would you ever do that the question is will the have to break your fingers in order to pry you out of the Holo-deck for even five minutes.

4. The Ed McMahon�s Prize Patrol is ringing your doorbell with a check for $5 million and you have to answer the door within the next 30 seconds, however you�re enjoying a hot bubble bath and are therefore completely naked. If you don�t answer the door within those 30 seconds� the prize is lost forever. What do you do?

Well I�m just going to assume I�m psychic with this question. I mean how else would I know I have only thirty seconds for a check worth five million and if I don�t get there with in the thirty seconds I lose the money?

So that in mind I�d pull some Jedi mind tricks on Ed from the ease of my bath tub. Make Eddy boy to take the check away and come back with one more around the hundred million mark.

Hey he�s famous and rich he can afford to pay the difference.

Then I�d just instruct him to put it on my kitchen table and guard it with his life as I towel myself off.

Ah now I�m rich and I have Ed McMahon as my person slave. Er wait, can I trade Ed in for say like Jewel or Eliza Dushku?

5. And finally� what one super-hero power would you simply love to possess? How would you use this power (ie to better man-kind, to make yourself rich and powerful, to save the whales)?

Ah now this is a good one. I would absolutely die for the �super-hero� ability to pimp slap sense into people.

Then I�d walk around in my pimpin outfit *stated on the Abaku message board* with a bottle of �magical� baby powder in my hand. I�d be watching for the most foolish people around then I�d sprinkle a bit of that baby powder in my hand, pimp slap them a good one, and poof sense and logic is introduced into the system!

Scenario 1

Dumb Ass Boyfriend: Bitch please shut the fuck up!

Weary Girlfriend: But honey I was only trying to see if it�s ok that I buy this dress!

Dumb Ass Boyfriend: Fuckin ho that money is for my god damn weed! Now get over her before I punch the fuck out of you!

Damn this looks like a job that can only be handled by�.

THE PIMPINATOR!

Pimpinator: Oh yeah mother fucker I got the shit to solve your problem right here.

*Tips the bottle of patent Pimpinator baby powder over�dash, dash, dash some in his hand�cocks it back and�.SLAP*

Dumb Ass Boyfriend: Damn baby I�m so sorry for all the shit I�ve put you through. Can you ever forgive me? And yes get that dress in fact buy three of them I�m getting a job on Monday!

Weary Girlfriend: Oh thank you Pimpinator! Let me sex you up to show my complete appreciation for what you have done for me!

Pimpinator: Ah all in a day�s work my sweet lady, but I require none of the sexing up you offer. Well ok, maybe a blow job but lets go somewhere private for that.

Scenario 2

Fucked in the head Red Neck: Wouldcha lookey �ere. I see me one of them �ere black folks hittin on one of our fine white woman!

His loser side kick friend Dumbass Redneck: That aint right Billy Bob Bobby Joe Billy Franky.

Fucked in the head Red Neck: Lets go over �ere and beat da shit out of him and learn�em a lesson!

His loser side kick friend Dumbass Redneck: YEAH!

Damn will these Red Necks never learn. Wait I think I see the Pimpinator. They may just learn after all!

Pimpinator: Mother fuck you two are a few chromosomes shy of making one good idiot.

Fucked in the head Red Neck: Huh?

His loser side kick friend Dumbass Redneck: I think he�s makin fun of us Jody Bob Billy Bobby Bob Bob.

Fucked in the head Red Neck: Yeah lets go kick his ass!

*dash, dash, dash�SLAP!*

The artist formally known as Fucked in the head Red Neck: Sweet Jesus what the fuck was I thinking! My god I need to divorce my sister, get some decent clothes, and go finish my high school degree!

Once was know as His loser side kick friend Dumbass Redneck: Wow�racism is such an ignorant thing! I shall amend my ways right now!

Scenario 3

President George W. Bush: Well I�

*dash dash dash�.SLAP! SLAP! SLAP!*

Ah and the world is a much better place now that Pimpinator is on the job.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003