The Enron Trials

Well I have been wanting to do this entry for the past few days, but it seems that diaryland servers where being little shits during the time of the night I normally am on. And by time the servers where back up and running, I was usually in bed or to tired to give a shit or think coherently enough to crank out a new entry.

I have thought of pre-writing entries in a word pad or Works, but I have learned in the past when I do that and paste it into the new entry part, for some reason it adds page breaks at the most incovient times. Usually half way through the second sentence over and over again so it would make my page look like my right hand can't control itself from hitting that damn return button.

So that idea is out the window unless I write in my own page breaks, which I would do, but I'm to focused on the entry itself to stop after each paragraph and slip a HTML code in.

Ok, so its more like 90% focused, 10% to lazy to do it...... well ok maybe its more like 80/20.......ok ok...its more like 50/50....but damn it I'm focused at least half the time enough to not want to bother. So its not COMPLETELY cause I'm lazy......

Yeah, ok, on with the entry.

Well I have been watching these Enron trials on C-SPAN.....why are you looking at me like that? I do so like watching something with meaning, inteligance, and not always vacant of any redemable matter. I do sometimes watch shows that require an intellect higher then whats needed to open a can of chilli.

Good thing about online dictionarys with that sentence, I had to look up the word intellect because I couldn't remember if it was spelled with one l or two. Which does say something about my inteligence in itself.

The postive side to that is if I was a pyschologist, I would say that final sentence in the last paragraph was a optimistic sentence. Instead of intellingence, I could have said "it goes to show you how stupid I can be" instead, which would have been a pesimistic point of view instead.

Ok, so I'm rambling....

Alright, since I'm confessing a bit here anyways...I didn't really choose to watch the Enron trials. My clicker decided to stop working just as I got on C-SPAN, and I was to .....can we all say it together here...L-A-Z-Y to get up and turn the channel manually.....I shudder at the thought.

Plus I wasn't really watching it, just wanted some background noise while I was busy on the computer. I just so happened to start paying attention to it while I had it as background noise.

Alright, once again I'm off the entire point of this entry all together. Which does go to show you that I am consistent in at least that.

Whoa...more of that postivie point of view about myself, one more and I'm going to pop an embolism in my brain.

Ok, sidetracked on one more thing. I had to look up how to spell intellect, but I didn't need to on embolism. So I fuck up on the more daily used word, and get the more complicated word right. Sometimes I swear, I have some fucked up thinking process.

So I'm listening to the Enron trials at the supreme court levels, trying to figure out how this multi-billon dollar business went backrupt in a matter of months.

Just in case a few of you don't know what I'm talking about, like that guy in the boxers shorters in front of his computer scratching his nuts and passing gas while reading this.....yeah you buddy, pay attention here or you will be lost on a good portion of this entry.

Heh, how funny would it be if there really WAS some guy sitting there in boxer shorts doing that while reading my diary. I bet that would really trip him the fuck out...."is he talking to me!?!"

Enron was the energy company in California that started having all those power failures because they could no longer afford to keep up with the price of running an energy company with the govermented regulated gas and electric prices. Yeah, the assholes who started all this shit that got your gas and electric bill sky rocketing a few months back ago. When you opened your bill and nearly dropped a load in your pants because the bill was nearly twice the price it was before.

Well it seems at Enron, the higher ups where keeping all excited about Enron, telling there employees to keep buying Enron stock for to beef up there portfolio and retirment plans, while behind there backs selling there own stock as the ship was sinking fast.

By the looks of it, the accountants where doctoring the books, making claims on large amounts of cash in the business that wasn't really there. So the books looked good, the company was gaining good profit, but the reality is that there was no profit, and what little money there was, was being eaten up by the months trying to keep a flot.

Now there are Enron employees who had portofilos and retirment plans worth multi millions and now worth as little as thirty thousands dollars or worth absolutely nothing at all.

So the company and all its higher ups where dragged into the Supreme Court, trying to find out the reasons this all happened so as not to disenfranchise consumers from investing money into companys in fear of being told its a good stock by the board of members, only to be bankrupt in a matter of months. That and they are looking at this in depth so they can establish some more business laws to keep something like this from happening ever again.

Now I'm listening to them quiestion Enron board members and such, asking them detailed quiestions about company paper work, asking them if they sold any of there Enron stock and when did they do it, asking them quiestons about meetings, paper work, and orders that where handed out. It seems not a single one of them seems to know what the fuck was going on. Either they where not at that board meeting so they can not confirm or deny said statement. Dodging around quiestions with veiled lies, excuses, and plain out complete insult to any and everyone's intelligence who is part of this trial.

If you listen to these people, not a single one of them knows what went on to send Enron into bankruptcy, not even the CEO of the company. The person who runs the company and should be aware of whats going on in the company he runs. I'm not saying they should know every last little detail of how much coffee was used in a month or how many paper clips did they order in the past year. The CEO SHOULD how ever know about the things that lead to bankruptcy.

Of course, this guy sits there with a straight face, acthing as baffled about what happened as the entire Supreme Court is. Of course, the Supreme Court doesn't seem to be falling for this steaming pile of horse shit for one second, constantly asking quiestions and make comments that doubhts every last little thing the Enron people say.

For the first time in my life I can actually say I'm proud of this Supreme Court. I may not agree with a lot of things they do, and am enranged by some of them, but finally I'm seeing them say to the fat cats of this country, "Hey, we let you get away with a lot of shit because you are rich and you finance our campaigns, but this is outrageous, you are going to take the fall for this one way or another and the people will get the justice there looking for."

Of course I'm afraid this pride for them may change to bitter outrage if *and when* they give out a sentence of a small fine *small for the fat cats* and a slap on the wrist.

Then I'll be back to hating them for the coruption and greed they normally stand for as they line there pockets with "donations" to there "causes".

It would be nice if just this once they stopped thinking with there wallets and actually fight for the everyday men and women in this country. In the case of Kennedy, all it would take is some hookers and some scotch sent his way and his vote is in your pocket.

Hey, wait a minute, thats not a bad idea. Anyone got a few hookers and a couple cases of scotch laying around. Maybe we can send it off to Kennedy to catch his vote for legalization of marijuana.....

Now for a little more govermental news, but more locally for me.

It seems that a man on the highway has had this old cannon sitting on is front lawn for ages. It seems back during World War I, he was given this cannon by the goverment for defense against the "enemy".

We have a Dow chemical plant here and a man made damn that provides a good portion of West and South Michigans energy, including Detroit. This then became a place in need of some defense. During the war, we did set up many civilians willing to help out "in a time of need". Like night watchman telling everyone to turn of there lights *can't bomb a city if you can't see it from the sky I guess*.

Things like that got this man a cannon sitting on his front lawn. Of course it was never used, but it also was never taken back. So its been sitting there for more then seventy years and has become somewhat of a land mark around here.

Well, thanks to someone purchasing a missile launcher in town *have made mention to this in a past entry, but can't remember which one and am once again to lazy to go find it* the DOD where in town.

While they are still in town, investigating the source of this missle launcher and I'm preaty sure investigating a few other leads, a DOD agent wad driving down the highway when he spotted the cannon. Pulling over he checked it out and found painted on the side "property of the US military".

Well, he knocked on the door, told the guy it was illegal for him to have this cannon on his lawn, and being that it is govermental property, that they where going to confiscate it then destroy it.

Well, the man became outraged over this since it is a land mark thats been there for more then seventy years. So he started calling around to lawyers to take this matter to court.

Before this could even get very far, a Michigan Senator directly called the DOD agents here and said you can not take that cannon away from him. That this was an act of "heavy handed goverment" he didn't want to see, and that the cannon poses no threat, so leave it alone.

Heh, two cases of pride for my goverment.....I'm feeling light headed here. Since when did the goverment actually started carring about the people instead of just fat cats and foreign countries.

Oh wait, we are near election time for Senators, and what a good way to get an entire count on his side by showing how much of a "good guy" he is.

*sighs*

Damn, knew this was all to good to be true. It seems as "we the people" don't get the shaft only when its around election time.

So how about we push elections closer together. Say like once a month, maybe these senators will start giving more of a shit about whats going on with the country instead of how big of a "donation" they will be getting to change there votes.

And now for a little lighter topic, just cause I need to be funny SOMEWHERE in this entry.

I was out and about early the other day, paying bills, dropping off paper work, getting all the little things taken care of all at once so its all finally done.

For a little back history and somewhat of a disclaimer to explain some of my thought process during this time, normally when I'm up that early in the morning it means I have stayed up all night long. Seeing as I preffer to stay up to late hours, doing things in the early morning is a real bitch to do if I try and get a nap in before hand.

If I go for that nap, I'm gone tell sometime in the afternoon which means I'm rushing to get all that done after I done my wake up rituals and adjusted to being awake.

So by time I was doing all the things I will be talking about, I will already be preaty loopy from lack of sleep and running on mostly auto-pilot.

My first stop, this store three blocks away from my place that does electronic transfers to pay your utility bills on. Which I find to be nice because over all its cheaper to do it this way rather then getting money orders and stamps, plus its faster for those times I'm on a few days deadline tell my utilities get shut off.

So I bundled up the best way I can, putting on two shirts because I can't find the liner to my jacket anywhere. I have one of those three in one jackets, an outer shell that can be worn in cooler times, a inside jacket *the liner* for the crisper, windy nights, and when the two of them are zipped together it makes for a somewhat decent winter jacket.

I say somewhat because if the temperature drops into the negatives, you can just say goodbye to your balls cause they will be retreating to inside you.

Being that the wind around here has been picking up preaty heavily off of Lake Michigan, its been paoinfully cold at times. The kinds of times when it feels like precious body parts are going to fall of as tiny invisble creatures stab you on skin exposed to the elements.

So with a "summer" mode of my jacket, two shirts, thick pants, decent socks and warm shoes, and about five miles of duct tape, my ass and balls remained firmly in place.

Though I did manage to forget my kick ass gloves that keep my hands snuggly warm in even the coldest temperatures. So I was forced to pull my hands up into the sleeves of my jacket for some warmth. Giving me that ever so cool look of "you have been tried and convicted of thievery, your sentence, chop off his hands!"

Not to mention my hair looked like shit since I was to tired to do anything about it, and I smelled heavily of cologne because I needed a shower but once again I was to fucking tired to take one. Plus, I know in Michigan with long hair, you never get it wet then go outside during this time of the year. Not only is it cold as hell, can get you sick faster then a deceased monkey camping in your toilet, and you get to express that nifty part of watching your hair break off.

I learned that last lesson the hard way when I was heading out to this party with a live band. I got all spiffied up, my hair all wet from a thourgh cleaning then brushing. It turned out to be so cold outside, that the water in my hair was turning into ice, which then made my hair so brittle that when you broke off any of that ice, you took some hair with it.

And as anyone with long hair who lives in a cold weather area knows, during this time of the year it takes for freakin ever for your hair to dry in this cold. My hair personally takes somewhere between six to eight hours to completely dry in cold weather, and since I dispise hair dryers, I didn't have one handy to get it dry before I headed out.

So a quick tally here.

Been up all night so I'm loopy, droopy eyed, and sluggish.

My hair looks like shit and I smell like a cologne factory exploded on me.

Enough duct tape strategically slapped onto my body to avoid the need of impromtu reattachment surgery.

And my hands are a nice shade of red, shivering constantly, as I'm walking around with my hands shoved up my sleeves like a freakin pre-schooler with no fore thought of winter gear.

Look out ladies, cause the sexiest man alive is on his way down the street.....

Would have to beat them off with a stick if it wasn't to freakin cold for bikini clad, big breasted honeys camped out on the street waiting for my tired ass to finally walk down the street.

That or I could have started laying down that kung fu shit, ripping off duct tape from my ass to tape them to trees while doing all sorts of acrobatic feats of inhuman, high flying Jackie Chan style, "can you deal with that!" additude.

Oh yeah, bow down before the frizzy haired, cologne factory smelling, ass taping kung fu master BIOTCH!!

*disclaimer: If it wasn't advious, I thought up that little kung fu bit when I was loopy as hell and walking down the street trying to think of anything to get my mind off the cold*

So I'm get to the store and rattle off what bills I want to pay and at what amounts, grabbing a few money orders for the bills I can't do electronic transfers on, filling them out then slipping them into the envelope so I can drop them off at a post box during my erands.

Now I'm not exactly sure how this happened, but some how I got in this indepth conversation with the woman behind the counter about her cats.

Ok, so she was doing most of the talking while I was going "uh huh, yeah, whoa, uh huh" while filling out money orders and sniffling to keep my nose from running.

Half way through I'm realizing this woman is talking a LOT about her cats. Telling me about vet bills, cat personalites, and how one of the cats is nothing but "fourteen pounds of pure muscle".

Thats about when I start to panic. She wouldn't shut up about her cats. I was starting to wonder how in the world I'm going to escape this without being rude and just walk away from her in mid sentence.

So I begin filling out my money orders a bit slower, keeping up the facade that I am truelly listening, while in reality I'm trying to think of something desperately so I can make some kind of escape.

PLAN A

Tell her I have a cat that is cute ass hell, and if she just gives me a few minutes I can run out to my car and show her pics of it to oh and ah over. Instead I make a run for it the moment I get out sight.

Ok, problem. No car, no cat, and I gotta wait in the store out of the cold for my bus to show up and take me about a two miles away from there. So that makes that plan null and void.

PLAN B

Turn it completely back around on here and discuss something I know in great depth that I will be preaty sure she will not be intersted tell she is the one standing there in the panic state, finding some way to escape me instead.

Eh, fuck that idea, I'm to tired to think.

PLAN C

Open my eyes real wide, get a freaked out look, point behind her and yell, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!" When she is not looking, stomp on her foot, punch her lights out, then make a mad dash away before her body even thumps on the ground.

Some how I sense that in the short term it would work out for me, but long term wise it will be more problem then solution.

Ok, so I come up with all these intricate solutions in my head, shooting down each one of them for one reason or another. So what do I invetibably end up doing to make my great escape. I tap my bills on the counter then say, "well, you have a great day, I have to be on my way."

Man, that was a lot easier to get out of that then I ever thought.

While I was there, I spotted a box of Mike and Ikes on one of the shelves.

"HOLY SHIT! MIKE AND IKES! I HAVEN'T SEEN THESE IN FUCKING AGES!"

I cringe when I quickly realize I have said this out loud instead of keeping it in my head.

Ok, so add on "crazed Mike and Ike maniac" to that tally list.

So my act of mental instability, and a need to avoid crazy cat lady so bored at her work that she is in desperate need of a conversation. I end up waiting for my bus outside in the cold, instead of staying warm and toasty inside.

Since my back was killing me, I decided to sit on this little half cement wall behind the store. Damn was that cement freakin colder then hell. Good thing my ass doesn't really have a voice or it would have been crying like a little bitch while asking "why are you doing this to me, what did I do to desrve this punishment *sob*"

How my ass could sob I really can't figure that one out. Though to argue that detail while ignoring the fact that my ass is talking, is really short sited of you.

Of course in reality my ass doesn't talk and I don't make it talk like Jim Carey in Ace Ventura. I save the puppet show for my dick and balls. Give them a exagerated mexican accent while talking shit to me. Its like a little, hairy puppet show. Plus he does do magic.....show you how he can do push ups in a dark tunnel tell it throws up.

Ok, I went a little TO far with that joke.

So I'm sitting there, ass frozen as I munch on some Mike and Ikes for that little sugar rush to my groggy brain. Then, something totaly horrific happens, something that makes your mind recoil in terror.........I dropped one on the ground.

I'm sitting there starring at this singultary Mike and Ike laying on the cold ground, looking all lonely. I begin contemplaint the "six second" rule. If its not on the ground for more then six seconds, its alright to still eat it. But of course since I'm groggy as hell, the contemplation took longer the six seconds.

Finally I say fuck it.....its only a green one, not worth my time.

Which of course got me to thinking "what if that was an orange one?" Oh boy....if it was an orange one, I fear I might have been on hands and knees, hovering over that bad boy and hovering it up off the ground while mumbling "sweet sweet orange Mike and Ike, how I love thee so."

See, now I tried warning you ahead of time how strange this will be getting....but did you listen to me....HELL NO! So don't blame me, my mind just works this way. You on the other hand could have made your escape long ago, but instead you decided to subject yourself to all this and keep on reading....you sadisic bastards.....

*disclaimer: Once again, in a loopy state I thought all this up. I'm just suprised I can remember it all.*

By the way, did I mention that I thought I saw Jessica Alba while I was out and about doing all this shit.

Yeah, sufice it to say, it wasn't her but some chic that looked a lot like her from a distance........when I'm not wearing my glasses for near sightedness. Close up, the resmblance faded preaty fast....the blonde hair should have tipped me off.

Which is a good thing I realized it was her before to late, would have looked bad if I ran up to her and said "JESSICA ALBA! I love that show Dark Angel! Can I have a autograph...you have a fantastic ass....can I hump your leg?"

Yeah, would have looked REAL bad....and I was doing bad enough as is.

Alright, enough with my wacky misadventures.....

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003