Jay,Mallrats

Ok, so I have been seriously slacking this week, big suprise. Have not posted much on my diary in the last week...but I have been busy...so sue me...wait.. never mind...don't sue me. I can't afford the law suit.

So I went and saw Evolution this weekend. Preaty good but not Earth shattering good. Of course it made it oh so better with Jullian Moore *shivers* sorry, have a thing for red heads. Now here is the most note worthy thing that happened to me at the theater. I am preaty basic when it comes to snacks at the theater. I already know what I want when i have the money. Cherry Coke, popcorn, and the occasionl box of sour patch kids or chocolate covered caramel. What ever suits my mood. Well I only had a enough money for one of them so I opted for the biggest fucking Cherry Coke I could get my greedy hands on. Well they didn't have any, the shipment didn't come in. .....grumble...grumble..... grumble....stupid fucking bastards. You should have a direct pipe line to the Cherry Coke factory so you never run out of this shit. I mean come on..give me a break..I ask for one fucking thing and you can't keep it on stock for lil ol me. So I was stuck with the fucking Classic Coke. What the fuck is so classic about it......do they age it tell the little bubbles inside are suffering from alzehiemers. *laughs* ok ironic note: I had to stop and think to remember the word alzehiemers...wonder if thats the first sign of it. But back to my lame ass Cherry Coke story. So I am standing there feeling cheated, waiting for the theater open. And I swear there was a dozen other people that flipped when they heard no Cherry Coke. Now I don't know if this Cherry Coke fanaticism is only a regional thing or are there thousands of other movie viewers out there craving a cherry flavored carbonated soda. Is this a phenomemenom, a coincidence, or am I part of a secret Cherry Coke Cult and just haven't recieved my de-coder ring yet. Either way you look at.....I DIDN'T GET ANY FUCKING CHERRY COKE!!! grumble...... grumble....grumble......fuckin theater bitches.

*raises arms in a triumph as he does his little kookie dance while Queen's we are the champions blare in the backround* I AM GETTING A NEW COMPUTER MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!! Oh yeah you know it *starts handing out high fives then starts stirring the soup dance* Seems my brother is getting a lap top for his job and will be giving it to me so that I can upgrade from my seriously outdated piece of shit computer that was made right around the time the 100 year war had ended. I will be upgrading to a "eh.. not bad ..could be better" computer. But who am I to bitch....I have a state of the art computer.....for 1991. Now I will be getting out of the stone age and entering the paliolithic erea *give big geek snort as he laughs...pushes up his glasses which are duct taped in the center*. Oh five times the memory space.....Pentium 2 chip... faster processor speed....more cache...more ram. A system with big enough balls to finally run those porno cds *record scratch....stops dead in my tracks* wait..did I say that outloud. I meant those good christian girls showing us how to.....errrrr .. eat hot dogs and take facials. Yeah thats it... nice good clean christian fun.

Oh and I am about to fucking flip out. God damn Mormons keep stopping by my door cause some asshole friend of mine likes to talk to them about religion and told them he can be found at my place on a regular basis. And he seems to never be at his place so they keep stopping by here.

ME*opens his front door* SHIT ..GOD DAMN MORMONS!!! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!!!!

MORMONS Why hello there kind sir. Is *name witheld so I am not prosecuted for future law suits of murder in the first* here by chance.

MEOf course he aint here.....I sacreficed him to my goat gods last night. They really liked eating him...they say he tastes like chicken.

MORMONS Well thats to bad, but would you like to hear about our great book we have here. We can enlighten you to a higher way of thinking and save your soul.

MENO ..FUCK OFF!!!........I HAVE ALREADY SOLD MY SOUL FOR A CHANCE AT JESSICA ALBA. IF YOU SAVE IT NOW I AM NEVER GOING TO BE ABLE TO DO THE NASTY WITH HER.

MORMONS Ok then, could you please tell so and so that we stopped by.

ME Sure bitch boy, oh and take this with you while your at it. I need a new set of finger prints on this sacrifical.....eeeeerrrrrr...carving knife.

MORMONS Have a good day and god be with you.

ME *procceds to spew chuncks at them like Linda Blair in the Exorcist to scare them off faster*

*sighs heavily* Mental Note: Look for new place to hide the bodies.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003