Cardinal Glick (aka George Carlin) Revealing the Catholic church's new Catholicism WOW! campaign to the press, Dogma

So it seems that I was just a wee tad to serious in my last posting. Judging by Anenigma's guestbook entry, I am guessing its true *laughs*. Which makes the third entry in my guestbook by here. And that results in......

ANENIGMA WINS THE BIGGEST FAN OF THE CHROME DIARY AWARD!!!

Which is very similar to "I can't believe its not butter". Since its the "I can't believe I read this shit" award. Nothing like a preaty woman with a foul mouth and a tendacy towards masturbating in the shower to put an extra step in a mans day.

So I went to see Tomb Raider last night. Not a bad action flick, the plot was a little week at times. But the action was fun and Angelina's padded ta ta's never looked finer *espeically when you get a view of them naked at the sides*. Two problems when going to the theater. One, I had enough money to get the largest chery coke I could lay my greedy hands on, but ran into a friend who payed my way to go see Mummy 2, so I felt ablogated to pay his way in. So of course he had no money for a cherry coke, and this time they did have cherry coke on tap. FUCK!!! Can I not win with this just once....sheesh. And two, I am severly clastraphobic, especially in crowds. Well we got there early cause the early show was sold out. So we are standing around and the front lobby, which isn't all that big, quickly gets filled with Tomb Raider and Pearl Harbor viewers. Now that wouldn't have been so bad if the room had split into to factions. One side the Pearl Harbor the other side Tomb Raider. Both sides eying each other wearly, snapping there fingers to the beat of the music that starts playing. Then both sides breaks out IN DANCE!!! Like West Side Story and shit. BUT NNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Instead they all stood around like mindless atomatoms, forcing me to press back more an more to the unused part of the candy counter to get away from them. And for some fucking reason, the didn't let us past that little pathetic srap they call a barrier until five minutes tell the show starts. I nearly had to be clubbed like a baby seal to prevent me from elbowing my way through the crowd and not letting the lady look at my ticket stub long enough to confirm the 9:05 show. And by the way, why the fuck did she have to look at it so long. Its not like theres much written there. Name of theater, show name, show time the stub is good for. Thats it!!! Nothing else, no hidden messages, no need to break out the secret decoder ring. She shit stared at it long enough, I have expected her to bust out a UV light and test it for a forgery. So finally the let me past with a stern eye, and a caustious look. Well the movie is playing in Dolby Digital sound *the audience is now deaf*. I pick a front row seat, and my friend and I overly sensitive on letting off a "gay" vibe. Decide to sit on the oppisite end sites at the aisle. *Takes on a real fake New York accent* Aye Yo! We don't want any of the chicks thinkin we are gay or nothin. *laughs* so once past our own personal homophobia, we sit quietly and read the same god damn Q&A's, Movie triva, guess what this film is by the pic, and histories on actors and there past roles. We have been reading for the last month. As if it wasn't bad enough seeing them over and over and over again. But some dumb ass in the audience decided he need to read all the words off the screen and yell out the advious answer to the "guess the movie by this pic" bit. I have never wanted a gun more in my life then at that moment. Then I could of said one of my favorite lines from a movie. *Stands up and singles out the cock smoker who can't shut his mouth* "I have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass. And I am all out of bubble gum." So finally the lights dim, the screen glows up and I get that giddy feeling I have had since I was a kid everytime the movie was about to start. Well lets just say that "giddy" feeling desperared faster then a ounce of coke under Robert Downey Jrs. nose. For the first ten minutes of the start up. We get comericials I can see on my tv. DO I REALLY NEED THIS COMERICIALS BLOWN UP TEN TIMES BIGGER THEN I AM USED TO!!! Jesus christ! I came there to have a good time, and if I wanted to see comericials. I would have stayed home and watched Freaky Links and Farscape *gets game show announcers voice* Farscape, the best god damn tv show on today. It comes recomened 4 out of 5 geeks aproval. Then a few movie previews. One I can't remember the name of it, but it looked fucking funny as shit. With Seth Green, that lead actor in Senior Trip, and the guy who play Bean. Something about a bunch of people racing to win 2 million dollars. Had the audence cracked up with just the preview. So you know its going to be funny. Now here is the part of the Diary where I ruin the movie for all of you who haven't seen it yet.

Synopsis:

Lara Croft, super reach "tomb raider" seeks out the key of of time. Kicks major ass while wearing tight fitting clothing. And she wins in the end.

*begins doing his evil laugh* MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.... MWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA......MMMMMMWWWWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA........MMMMMWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....mwhahaha.. hahahahaha....hahaha..haha...ha....*gets winded.. then lights up a cigarette*

Later

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003