"Yeah, like Enya and shit."

"And there was his bright light and Angels goin 'come to the light, come to the light'"

"So, why didn't you guys go?"

"We where like...eh fuck it....it's to far."

Idle Hands

So I was excused of having a serpents tongue today. Not the "lets cut it in half and let it heal in two pieces" kind of serpents tongue mind you. This needs some explaining. My best friend is into all this mysticism and ancient religions/beliefs shit, has tons of books on the subject. He was reading about how the catholics would choose you for a trial *which is ironic cause it seems Ever did her whole entry about Salem witch trials on PBS. Coincedence!? Yeah, preaty much.* Well aparently if you had to much charisma, you where subject to being accused of witchcraft.

"For it is not possible that a man through the natural powers of his mind should direct such power from his eyes that, with out the agency of his own or of some other medium, he should be able to do harm to the body of another man. Or is it possible of his mind should at his will bring about some change, and by directing this power through the mediumship of his eyes entirely transform the body of a man, upon whom he fixes his gaze, just as his will and pleasure may be.

And therefore, in neither of these ways can one man influence and fascinate another, for no man by the natural power of his mind alone possesses such and extrarodinary influence.

The Malleus Maleficarum

*Those wacky catholics*

By the power of wha??? Ok it seems to break down, if you are to charismatic, it can't be you, but a more devilish power. He laughed telling me this and made a joke,

"If that was true, something like 75% of the population would be accussed of witch craft just cause people are starring at them."

Well I made a joke, "Ha ha, I would be one of those bitch 25% begging to be accused. Cause, god damn thats preaty sad when you have no one even giving you a second look. Fuck the consequences, BURN BABY BURN!!"

So he claims I have a "serpents tongue", because I influence people with my words *I know I know, kind of hard to fathom if you read some of my past entries. Hey, in real life I talk a lot more coherent then I do here......somewhat.* This whole subject also leads to my new found knowledge of positive qualities about me. I figured up tell now that preaty much I was the garbage dump of all that is shitty about a persons personality and life *guess i was wrong...oops...my bad*. It turns out, that everyone who has come to my house being dragged screaming and kicking, for the first time, have left saying I am the funniest mofo they ever met *my counter to that, they adviously don't know many people*. Which leads me to something I have been thiking about for a long time now. I have been told for I don't know how many years, that I should jump into stand up comedy. I always blew this off, just cause you can be funny to your friends in a comfortable enviroment, doesn't mean I will do well up on stage with people with every intention of having a good time and laughing. I mean think about it, you pay a cover charge and maybe a two drink minmum to get through the door, god all dressed up and worked your lazy ass out your door to a club in hopes of finding someone funny to watch. So the mentality of "I payed good money to be here funny man! So make me laugh or I swear I am going to tear you a new one," is kind of frightening. But now, I'm starting to wonder if I could make it. So I thihk I might just work up a comedy act, rehearse it a few times. Then hit this open mic night at a hotel bar just outside of town. My friend thinks its cool, and says I should invite all my friends over to see me on stage. Of course, will they be laughing at my jokes or laughing at me for looking like a complete idiot. Of course, if it is the latter, I would have to end my act with an impersonation.

"Alright folks, as my final bit for the night I would like to do a impersonation. Here is my impersonation of me opening a fresh can of whoop ass on all my friends here tonight. " Then I would leap off the stage doing some Matrix style ninja shit going buck wild slapping them around while yelling "WHO'S YOUR DADDY!!!!"

*shrugs* Who knows...maybe I will be the next Jim Carey or Robin Williams. With my luck, I will be more like Carrot Tops retareded brother.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003