The sentence I heard the most on 4th of July

So my fourth of july kicked some major bootey, how about yours. Well enough about you lets talk about my day. Well I managed to get up early, in fact about six hours to early. Couldn't get back to sleep if my life depended on it. So I meat up with my friend, I help him carry his bass for few blocks. Then we saw what he would be ridding on during the Fourth of July parade. Huge ass Semi with canopy on top of a flat bed. Inflatable animals and musical instruments hung everywere on it. It was backed up in a stall just barely bigger then it in the factory we had to go to. So finally everything seems set and we are about ready to take off. Oh no, thats to optimistic now isn't it. Well it seems the breaks on the rear of the trailer don't want to stop locking up. So the driver fucks around for awhile, finally deciding that the key to the solution. Stick a pallete under the rear wheels. Now I have no clue what that has to do with locked up breaks, but it sure as shit worked. So at a snails pace we jerkily pull out of the factory and drive all they way around the building. All the band equipment wants to go flying across the flat bed or right over the side. So eveyone on the back of it was desperately graspin one piece of equipment or another. At one point, one of the mike stands tried making a run for it. But, being the good little prions wardens we are, it was already tied into the sound system. So all it did for awhile was get dragged along the side of the trailer until we could get the drivers attention to stop. The horror ... the horror.....

So we start cruising up the streets, heading to a predetermened spot. Well thats at least what I thought. Tell we passed a shit load of floats and go karts. The driver pulls over and asks "So where are we suppose to go?". And heres the catch, not a single person knew on the flat bed. So it turned out we where just cruising around in hopes of just stumbling into your spot. Well, luckily some one had a cell phone, and called the candy ass who set up this circus in the first place. Well he finally shows up and informs us we have to travel back like three blocks. So with a lot of jerky turns and rocking flat bed, we finally reached out destination. Now as we sat there, I started getting the distinct feeling, nobody but my friend knew why I was there. Just for the record, a few days before the parade I asked him "ok you want me on the float, but is that cool with the rest of the band and the owner of the truck?" . Yeah its kewl he tells me. I asked him that day three times walking there and sitting in the factory wating to get moving. He continues to tell me its kewl and don't worry about it. So when we are waiting for the offical launch hour of the parade, I come to find out that he didn't pass this tiny bit of information on to anyone else.

"Oh pardon me, I know the flat bed is filled with band equipment and all its band memembers. PLUS the DJ from the dance club that the float was advertising. And I know there is already some other people who are ridding along and we practically don't have room. So I thought it would be cool to tell my friend he can ride along without asking if the guy who owned it cared!!!"

GREAT!!! Fookin pig fucker!

So finally he asks and the guy says its cool. Now I was told my only stipulations where, I don't get in the way, don't throw any of the inflatable toys out the crowd, and wear a hulla skirt. Sure thats fine with me I.......HULLA SKIRT!!! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WITH THIS SHIT!!!! Well cause the dance club is called Tiki, they have this heavily Hawaiain style to the place. So I got to wear a fucking hulla skirt huh!!! *grumble* numb nuts

So as we are wating the band decides to tune up there equipment. Test out how everything sounds, and if the lead guitarist's cordless plugs worked and what it would sound when the whole band from the side walk. Thats about when the VJ showed up, with his sad little name. Turn your last name into a single letter, damn thats sad. So he is sitting there trying to be apealing while cracking jokes at everyone. Nasty, boring jokes that just amused the shit out of him. And the worst thing is, if someone wasn't around to hear it the first time, he tells it again. And if another person shows up later, and missed it the first two times he told. Yep you guessed kiddies, he fucking tells it again. Got news for you buddy, wasn't funny the first time and it gets worse and worse the more you tell it. He kept going back to jokes about me being this scary guy. What the fuck!!! Why the hell do I get that so much. Ok so I always wear dark clothes, in this particular day I was wearing black jeans and a real dark red t-shirt with my silver chain wallet gleaming in the sunlight. Ok so I was wearing sunglasses, and you couldn't see the melicious ideas making my eyes shine brightly. Ok I got long dark hair and earrings, and I was preaty quite. *Grins* well not to completely complain, but the scary thing paid off in the end. Everyone on that flatbed but the band and ME, didn't wear a hulla skirt despite what they said. Ha Ha, thats right bi-otch!!! Be afraid of me, gets me out of wearing a fucking hulla skirt. So a few mintues before launch time, they start trying to figure out where everyone is going to be standing. Well being the wrench thrown into the works, I was regulated with "what ever space is left its all yours buddy". So I have to sit two feet over to the side of the drummer. Close enough to have my freakin ear drums vibrattting everytime he beat on those damn drums. Well I can't completely complain. First off I get to sit my ass down for the next two hours rather then standing there looking like an idiot, nearly tumbling head over toes off the side everytime it jerked to roughly. Also the drummer is preaty fucking cool. He was the same drummer from the Memorial Day Estravganza that rocked out in each band, good back up singer too. Plus I got to see up close and personal what it looks like to be right behind the drums in the middle of a gig. Went pracitcally deaf in my left ear for three hours, but well worth the cool points hanging with a band in front of thousands. Now normally this is a small ass town, until tourist season rolls around that is. Fucking town population went up two or three times the numbers on the fourth of july. So we traveled at a snails pace down the main road, rocknig out to some old tunes and some new tunes. A sea of dumbfounded faces stared back at me, that drooling look of a patient after he recieves the morphene drip. Damn there was a lot of people there. And at one point when the street gets divided by some islands, they audience was like at the farthest three feet away from my leg dangling over the side. Almost booted some kid in the head because of that. Well thats what you get you little brat for now watching where you're running. My cool points went down considerably when some old hag with a squirt gun shot me with water in my face from where she sat on the side of the road. She started cackling like a mad man, whooping that she got one.

Hope you're having fun you fucking maggot.

But the coolness points went up considerably when our float *and ours alone* decided to cruise the beach while the band still played. Which brings me to a point I have to make.

Fuck your car stereo. Fuck your 12", 15", 24" Woofers tweeters sub woofers and what other fucking wierd ass names for stereo equipment. I don't give a fuck if your vehicle is so packed with speakers, you can't fit another living person in your car. I don't care how pimp of a ride you have. Nothing and I meant NOTHING will ever beat cruising downtown then the beach strip with your own live fucking band. You just can't buy that kind of cool easily.

As we cruised the beach I noticed this guy with a fucking load of pizza's walking up and down the strip. I didn't really think about it, other then damn he must be fucking hungry. Well it turns out he was giving out free pizza up and down the strip. It was so to good to be true, at times he had to practically beg people to take them, handing out more and more then he originally was giving out. Shortly after we left the beach strip and headed towards the dance club, the cops blocked off any more traffic into the beach. Aparently they reached there max load real early in the day. Well we hit the dance club and started unloading the equipment into the club to set up for the "after the fireworks" gig. While unloading the flat bed, everyone and there freakin grandma came up and started begging for one of the blow up toys. And I swear a couple dozen people in a row all came up and asked if they could have one of the monkeys. God damn things where selling faster then a penny pussy. Lucky for some of them I wasn't one grabbing for the blow up toys to hand out them. Would have planet of the apes flash backs and start yelling "GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME YOU DAMN DIRTY APES!!. Well after a few hours of unloading the trailer and settnig up in the club.*which I must make a point, if I ever hear "taking care of business" ever again it will be to soon. Damn I wish they would tune there fucking equipment to a different song* we headed out on the quest for a bag. Which was so easy, since it turned out there was so much weed and acid circulating around down town you could have gotten an entire Gratefull dead concert fucking baked out of there skulls and trippin like there was no tomorow. The weed came in a multiple diffent tastes, from home grown to some real good stank bud. The acid came a multitude of colored gell tabs. All this floating under the noses of all the city and state cops patrolling up and down the main drag and the beach. Aaaaaahhhhhhhhh you got to love the drug community at times, especially when there so industrial like that. With in mintues we are hooked up and we run to the nearest place to light up. I'm not quite sure how much we smoked, sort lost count after the fifth or eighth one, not sure. But I felt fucking fantastic. Especially when my friend became my saviour of my munchies as he orders two large meat filled fucking pizza. Fuck that vegetable pussy shit, give me meat, and extra cheese. Thats right asshole, through some extra greese on there so I can hear my arteries clogging as I sit there an mow contintely. Well ok I like some vegetables on my pizza, love the sheet out of peppers and onions. But since I didn't pay for it, and my friend is highly allergic to a ton of vegetable, send him to the hospital kind of allergy *the god damn bi-otch ... SUCK IT UP WUSSY!* I was forced to eat all meat and extra cheese pizza..... oh poor me. Well after quite a few hours of killing brain cells and filling my arteries with built up grease. I head home and told him I would meet up with him when the club would open. Well I'm sitting home, so stoned I can barely get out a coherent sentence without laughing. I decided "eh fuck it...like I really want to see the fireworks". So I decided not to walk my ass down the crowded harbor and even more crowded beach. I hate fucking crowds. This is where I find out how much my apartment truelly rocks. Sitting ni my chair in my living room, I can see fully the fireworks from my front window. Damn that was the most comfortable I have ever been watching fireworks. Now if they would just change the parade route to the old thanks giving day parade route. My window would be sitting right above the parade. Damn, that is truelly lazy of me, I got to do something about this soon. Now here is a sucky part, the weed and the massive headache knocked my ass out and I slept through the entire gig. Oh well, I heard they sucked anyways *grins at those of you who would be offened by that. You know I'm kidding, so stop pouting damn it!*

So thats the end of my fourth of july story. Cruising the beach with a live band, being so scary I get to ditch out on the whole hulla skirt shit, going deaf in my left ear for ROCK N ROLL BABY!!!! Preaty fucking fun day, if you ignore all the fucking idiots that couldn't drive a straight line with a fucking train on a straight away.

Well I'm outta of here kiddies. One last bit of news on my life as it sadly goes. I GOT JURY DUTY MONDAY!!!!! Shit, I hope like hell the settle my case out of court or I swear when there making jury selections. I am going to purposely biased myself against the client.

"Yeah I think you assholes should free Charlie Manson. Oh and legalize Marijuahana and out law Renault Alliances from being street legal. I fucking hate that car. Oh what do I think about that guy? That asshole over there, he fucking did it, I saw him with my own two eyes. Pssssstttt what did he do again?"

*shrugs* Well ok maybe I won't do that so I don't get my ass thrown in jail for contempt of court.

Fucking wussy, can't rock the boat now can we.

Yea whatever mother fucker...we are out of here.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003