They Live

Yay...Anenigma is back. Was going through with drawls here. Good thing Uncle Booby has been around. Now if those two went on vacation at the same time. I would be like that heroin addict who gets thrown in to jail and force to Detox in his cell. Throwing fits, screaming and shaking...you know.......more then usual.

So I watched Fear Factor tonight, and I got to say this. A lot of these scary stunts I would be willing to do. Cover me in snakes or rats, put me in a harness and swing em busting through a wall. Hell put me on a metal beam way up in the air and tell me to walk across it. Shit, would be preaty damn scary, but its 50,000 dollars more money then I have right now..which isn't much. But the second you want me to eat some funky shit AND not puke. I'm out dude. Get that shit out of my face. The contestents had to eat two boiled buffalo balls. Let me repeat that so you feel this not just read it. THEY HAD TO EAT TWO FUCKING BUFFALO NUTZ!!!! Joe Rogan, I like yeah dude. Thought you where funny in new radio. But if you ever DARE put a platter of buffalo nuts in front of my face and tell me to eat two. You better have your running show on and an escaper waiting for you. They have been eating the nastiest shit on that show lately. Last week sheep eyeballs now buffalo nuts. Whats next, a little raw cow dick, how about some sheep teats. Now eating living crickets, which is nasty in a creepy crawling around in my mouth get a leg caught in my teeth way, isn't so bad in comparison. Now I have a real low gag reflex, always have always will. When I was kid I would projectile vomit at the drop of a hat. Get the wrong ideas in my head with a mouth full of food and I say bye bye to my lunch. Which unfortunetly my brother *who was very demaneted and pervers those day* knew this and took advantage of it all the time. Any time I got a mouth full of noodles when I was eating chicken noodle soup. He would quietly say in my ear in a sing song voice *they turn to worms when they get in your mouth." That would set me off and I would hurl right in my bowl of soup right there. The mother fucker conditioned me to HATE noodles with a passion. Up tell two years ago, I couldn't get myself to eat a straight spaghetti noodle without gagging. Hell I have to cut the shit up into tiny pieces in order to not kick my gag reflex in. Yes I know.....they don't turn into worms when they get in my mouth. But damnit!!! Everytime I eat that shit I can't help getting the mental image of my mouth full of worms. You got to love older brothers and the different psychosis they breed into you. Well my gag reflex isn't as bad today as it USE to be. But there is NO FUCKING WELL IN HELL I'm eatting that shit. I don't care if you pan fry that shit with sautated onions in a nice brown sauce and seasoning. If you get that shit near me I'm gonna hit yeah tell your teeth shoot out your ass then my head spins around 360 degrees as I spew pea soup all over yeah........just a fair warning.

Man, my dreams have been getting funky as shit lately. And I don't seem to remember complete versions of them, just bits and pieces of them. Which just makes it THAT much more confusing. Like sitting at a poker game with John Wayne and Clint EastWood *both in there spaghetti westerns style outfits* playing to see who becomes the owner of Telly Savila's infamous lolly pop. Or, sitting in some farm house with this LONG ass kitchen with a bed in the corner. Some guy laying there with a hose punched through his chest into his heart, and some woman sitting on the other end of the hose sucking his blood out him. You would think I was thinking "shit she shouldn't be doing that" Well no way coochese, you would be thinking to normal there. Instead I was thinking "I just know she is up to something, like try and drink TO much of his blood. But if I find the SLIGHTEST inkling of proof theres foul play here. I'm reporting her to the coven of three witches on this shiznit." Then some monster truck with really bright lights rolls up out front being driven by Bruce Willis. Or my dream of being the lazest super hero in the world. No matter how lazy I was, everyone ran to me for help.

Distraught Woman "Super Chrome Super Chrome!! You got to help me! My cat is stuck up in a tree!"

Super Chrome "Eh, but Farscape is on. Come back in an hour and check on what I'm doing then."

Angry Police Chief "Super Chrome we need your help!!! The world is being over run by umpa lumpas and Willy Wonka is tied up in the chocolate factory being slowly lowered in a vat of ever last lung stopper!"

Super Chrome "JESUS!!!! Can't you see I'm trying to take a nap here! I need my SUPER HUMAN beuaty sleep mofo. Bags under the Super dude's eyes is very unsightly!"

Jessica Alba of Dark Angel "Oh Super Chrome. You look so sexy in your tights and your cast iron Scooby Do fruit of a looms. Take me now you Super Stud!"

Super Chrome "He...well a Super dude has got to do what a Super dude has got to do. Here where this wonder woman costume for me."

He he....so maybe I made a wee bit of this up.... but trust me....the real dreams are a tiny bit more ..eeeerrrrr confusing.

LATER

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003