Fight Club

Well, yours truly *I'm talking about me, for the perputually confused* was reviewed the other day on Diary Reviews.

I recieved a 84 out of 100, which I personally think I could have gotten higher if wasn't for my shit for spelling and horrible grammar.

Yeah I know, I suck, I've learned to live with it.

For my layout, they seem to really dig the new look of this here diary. Now, not to get all ego driven here, but let me whip that bad boy out right about now.

*lets his drooling, crazed ego out of its cage, clutching the leash desperately to keep it at bay*

DOWN BOY! BAD EGO! BAD, BAD EGO!!!

anyways........

I'm personally really proud of the look of my lay out, it looks sleek in a very Blade Runner kind of way. Yes I did get some help from Gawain on the tables, and yes he has helped me numerous times in the past, but majority of the HTML coding was my work, and all the images where mine *well, not all the banners in my links, but you get my point.*

Now, about the content of my page, let me point out a few key things they said about moi....

ahem...

I have never before seen anyone write diary entries so long and so regularly- let alone a guy!

Yes I'm a bit long winded........ok a lot long winded......ok ok....so I babble more then a church lady with teretz syndrom gossing up a storm.

ok, line two...

He's got his own brand of satire, I think, and is enjoyable if you're into it.

Jeez lady, you got a crush on me, cause you got to be in love with me with that much affection just oozing from that sentence.

heh, kidding........

Yeah, I'm like pate', if you aint got that aquired taste, I'm a bit hard to swallow.

Read that sentence again, but this time don't keep in mind I'm talking about my comedy......sort of puts it in a different perspective doesn't it.

84 out of a 100 aint bad, but I'm betting it would have been higher if I waited to get reviewed after I put a new addition to my web page I have been working on.

Oh yeah, by the way to all you, since I let the cat out of the bag already., some time in the near future you will be seeing a new button on my tool bar labeled "F.Y.B.B.". So watch out for it, I'll warn yeah when it gets here. I'm hoping to get big chuckles from it.

I think I got my ass beat down in my sleep!

I woke up in the middle of my sleep with shooting pains in my right wrist. You know the kind, when you know you have slept on that hand or arm wrong. So I managed to get it in a comfortable spot, and fall back to sleep.

A few hours later, I wake up to a splitting headache, my neck and upper back are sore as hell, my lower back has shooting pains running through it, and there is blood on my big toe!

I swear, I think I was ambushed in my bed and got a fresh can of whoop ass opened on me.

That, or I'm sleep walking and I joined a fight club and was slapped around by Meatloaf with "bitch tits" tell I screamed like a little girl and tapped out.

After all, Edward Norton found out he was Tyler Durten while he slept. So that would make me Edies part in the movie AND I turn into Tyler Durten while I sleep.

Does that mean I get to make hot monkey love to Jennifer Aniston then?

I'd break her like a dry twig in the middle of a heat wave.

but enough about freaky sex........

Took over a hour and four horse sized pills of pain killers to get rid of the headache and soreness, though my lower back still hurts like a mofo. Feels like I got a group of umpa lompas down there playing bass on my spinal cord.

First I'm pate' and I'm hard to swallow, now I got umpa lompas forming a mosh pit in my lower back, next thing you know I'll be talking to my dick.

"Hey Willy, hows it going buddy?"

"Not to bad aye, a bit cold in here. Turn up the heat man, the twins are shrivling like two raisins."

"Shit, sorry buddy, gotta any other requests?"

"Yeah vato, quite rubbing me so often, I'm chaffing like a mofo!"

"Quit your bitchin, you know you like it. Got anything else to spew out!"

"Yeah if you rub me a few times I do......but seriously. Get me a piece of that singer Shakira, vato....she is dead sexy and she can move her hips in a way that will have me churning inside her like a spoon in a witch's culdron."

"Ease down slappy before I get Anenigma to use that vice on you!"

"Alright man......just chilllllllllllllllllll, no need for any of that."

How many other diaries do you get that the writer talks to his penis in it.

Not many I'm guessing.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003