Almost Famous

Well, I went and saw my friend spanky play a live gig this Saturday, and I got to say...what?? Speak up, I'm still deaf from that.

For some fucked up reason, we always sit at this two tables when we see them play live in that bar. Its on the second level, and its the closest seats to the stage where the band is. The problem with it is they left speaker system of the band is right in front of us, and for added extra ear blasting hell, one of the bar's speakers is directly over one of the tables.

Which means the only way you are talking to anyone, you have to practicaly wrap your lips around there ear and shove your tongue inside, and maybe they will hear you, just maybe. Of course, this doesn't stop one guy sitting with us trying to hold in depth conversations with several people including me, from around six feet away. So no matter how many hints he got, he just wouldn't get the fact we couldn't hear shit he had to say. He didn't notice EVERYONE else leaning right into someone's ear to speak to him, the constant "what?" over and over still didn't get through to the gerbel on a exercise wheel he calls a brain. So after a point, I said fuck it, he is to stupid for reasoning, so I just started smilling while nodding my head then chuckling softly after everything he said.

I could have been doing that while he said anything.

DUMBASS BAR DWELLER: You know, I had an accident yesterday and boy, does my ass ever hurt.

ME: *nod, nod, smile* uhuh..heh.

DUMBASS BAR DWELLER: So I went to the doctor about it, and thats when I found out I had terminal cancer, and I'll be dead by the end of the week.

ME: *nod, nod, smile* uhuh...heh.

DUMBASS BAR DWELLER: Which has put a crimp in my life's goal, to resurect Adolph Hitler, give him super powers, then unleash him and his biologically inhanced super soliders on the world for him to dominate and rule the planet. I am two weeks away from completing the formula needed for this project.

ME: *nod, nod, smile* uhuh...heh..true..true.

As you can see, I could have sold my soul to him for bag of mexican jumping beans, then to have him sell me to some experimental labratory to pump me full of drugs then having me impregnate house hold pets while they tinker with my DNA so they can build a newer, better pet for the average american family, and I'd just be nodding my head and smilling away.

Some time after the gig, we all had the obligatory "who the hell was that guy?" and everyone thinking he was someone elses friend, but to find out no one at our tables had a clue who the hell he was. Which really does suck cause I was sitting there trying to be polite cause I thought he was one of my friend's friends, when he was in fact a stranger who's mind I could have been fucking with all night between sets.

Ah well, opurtunities lost.

Between sets, there was a DJ there, I mentioned him during my fourth of july float entry, he was the prentious ass who thought all his jokes where funnier then shit, especially the more he told the same one. Any time the band wasn't playing, he was to play music videos on all the large screens in the place. So he starts of preaty good, some sucky dance music, then a nice big block of Ozzy and Limp Bizkit and these Powerman 5000 cover of a Franky Goes to Hollywood's Relax, which absolutely fucking rocked.

Of course, that was short lived as more people came through the doors, then he decided to stick to nothing but dance mixes, rap with a dance beat, and R&B.

I was in shitty music hell.

One song, and I shit you not about this, the ENTIRE song was nothing but instructions on doing a dance. The only voice you heard was this guy telling each step he wanted you to do for something called the cha cha dance or some shit like that. Thats all he did, talked about stomping feet and slidding and put a back beat to it....thats it! I swear this is the seventh sign of the apocalype! That or that guy sucked a lot of dick to get that video.

So some how I avoided being stupid drunk despite not eating dinner then drinking four double shots of Southern Comfort, three beers, and half a Tom Collins *which in itself is half gin*. In fact, I barely even caught a buzz of the shit, apparently my tolerance is higher then I remember. Which is good and bad, good cause then I aint doing something the next day people look at me and say "Dude, you know what you did last night?". Bad cause if I'm going to bother to drink that much, I should at least catch a buzz that makes me feel preaty good damn it.

Nope, no buzz, only a headache from sitting so close to speakers I could feel my rib cage rattle, and a need for a couple rolaids after the burning of the whiskey. Which by the way, made me feel older then fuck that I was all aching for a asprin and rolaid cocktail, followed by a long nap. In a few years I'm going to have to come packing a walker, cause if I feel that old then, I'll be needing something to help me haul my ass out of there.

Which is SSSSOOOOOOOO attractive to the ladies. Long haired freak with a walker...oh yeah...chick magnet.

Well christmas is on its way, oh joy oh joy I love shopping during this time......noting the sinacism in that sentence since you cann't hear my voice.

Personally, I love christmas time, its a great time of the year. Fresh snow, lights everywhere, the general mood in the air, its preaty nice.

The shopping on the other hand, I'm about ready to purchase me a shotgun for that. Cause the only way I'm getting out of a store in under a hour, I'm going to have to wave that shotgun around to see some results.

Me personally, I don't like wandering around stores, I'm a goal orientated shopper. Make a list, on paper or in my head, of all I need in there, then set out as quick as possible to allocate the said purchases and get home in a flash with less cash. Occasionally I stop and observe some sales I might have missed out on, or when I have extra cash, check out the movies and video games section. Other then that, I'd like to be out of there in less time then it takes to watch the God Father trilogy.

This probably stems from all the years I spent in stores, looking at all the wicked things I wanted, but never having the money to afford it.

Of course, I'm still waiting for those years of lack of money to be over with already.

So, its nearing christmas, and now I'm going to have to go through crowded stores with my ninja like reflexes, and open up a couple cans of fresh whoop ass on the slower of the herd.

OH YEAH BABY!!! GOING TO KICK SOME ASS X-MEN STYLE!!

ahem...excuse me.

Thats why I'm going to try and make all my christmas shopping in one freaking day, cause its bad enough I already have to go food shopping for the month in about a week, but to head back out there to pick up presents for my family. My god, I'll go insane if I have to go back more then a couple times.

I wouldn't be hard to spot, I'd be the long hair freak stanind in the middle of the isle, face bright red, mumbling and spitting incoherent words as I rip my hair out in large clumps.

And don't even get me fucking started on the lines to the cashier lines. Lets just say I have learned my lesson and this year I'm coming to the store equiped with camping gear.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003