Anonymos

Alright, a bit of confession time here, I managed to stay on the wagon of "non-smoking" for roughly five hours after I put up my last entry.

Yeah, I'm strong like bull...as weak minded as one too.

Well, lets just set the mood for the begining of this day.

Ok, not the begining since, well I didn't manage to get to sleep tell after my cigarette discretion, but calling it a begining is much easier then figuring out what the fuck it is.

After I put up my new diary entry, I then read my regular diary reads, check out a few other sights, then head off to bed.

So I light a few candles, slip on the black silk sheets, spray a little cologne around, put on a little soft Barry White in the CD player.

Yes, I am one of the last self fufilling romantics....self fufilling being the key words...heh.

So, once I get done slapping the one eyed, purple helmeted yogurt slinger around for a few hours....why I hired that guy to wear a purple helmet and fling yougurt around my apartment I will NEVER know. Must have been the missing eye, I felt sorry for the bugger..heh

As I'm laying there, feeling very relaxed and very set to fall asleep, I feel something I am very familiar with do to many past bouts of insomnia.

I felt myself go from ready to pass out to wide fucking awake in the snap off my fingers.

Which is my brain's way of telling me...

"Hey fuckwad!! You expect to go to sleep now?"

After the fifteen minutes of non-stop laughter in my head, and my brain catches its breath while clutching its preverbal sides...

"Nope fucker, we aint sleeping. I have decided we shall particpate in a hour of flipping through early morning broadcasting to prove ONCE again how shitty it all is while you wonder who the fuck watches this shit. Then, we shall partake in some playstation fun or watch a movie, I have not decided yet...now be up with you lazy fucker. A half hour of laying here JUST about to fall asleep is good enough for you."

So fuck it, if I'm going to be up a lot longer then I want to be, then I'm cooking some mother fucking breakfeast.

I'm real edgy without sleep if you haven't noticed.

So I cook up a package of sausages I found in the freezer, and some scrambled eggs which I decided to spice up a bit. I diced up a red onion, some fresh basil, freshly ground pepper, onion salt, and a bit of garlic powder. While cooking up my sausages, I slapped a hash brown leftover from another meal, cooked it up then cut it up to toss into the egg colage I had going.

Whoa, some purty colors hyuck hyuck.

A few pieces of toast with that and I was set and ready to munch on this tasty breakfeast then watch Unbreakable.

The meal was tasty as hell, filling too. And guess what I wanted more in the world after that...

A blow job from Jessica Alba!

Ok, what was the SECOND thing I wanted more then the world.

To ride Jenifer Lopez's ass like a bucking bronco while screaming YEHAWWWWWWWW!!

oooooookkkkkkkkkkkkk fuck this list thing, I'm just going to say it.

I FUCKING WANTED A CIGARETTE BAD!!

I mean "high power rifle and nearest clock tower" bad if I didn't get one.

So, on a scrounging expedition starting in the nether regions of my couch, I managed to get enough money for a pack of smokes.

At about this time, its nearly nine in the morning, so I figure the store at the corner should be open by then. Sure there winter hours during weekdays doesn't open tell eleven, but on Saturdays its normally around nine oclock that he opens his door up.

So, just as the clock strikes nine, I run downstairs with no jacket on to get me the cheapest pack of cigarettes he has and be back upstairs happily puffing away while watching Bruce Willis become a real life hero and Samuel L. Jackson with the ugliest hair cut since Flock of Seagals.

I reach for the door and.....FUCK!!

Still locked!

I look at the recent schedule he put up on the window and it seems 11am is the earliets he opens on any day of the week.

FUCK!!!

Two more fucking hours tell they open.

You think this is a sign?

Don't answer that, I have a feeling the answer means no cigarette for me and well...FUCK THAT!

So I'm starring at the door, fantasizing about smashing the window open and snatching a pack, but since I live RIGHT FUCKING behind the police station, it wouldn't be benifical to me spending a life on this side of the bars.

So I start walking back to my stairs and head back up to my apartment.

Which it turns out I just couldn't get myself to do cause the two hour wait will kill me. So I started walking down the street hoping I come up with a plan for what to do.

The closest place to me that is open and sells cigarettes is a five block walk away, but my body is exhausted from not sleeping, well at all in a 30 hour period of time. So I keep walking in hopes I run across SOMEONE with a cigarette I can buy off them.

Nope, no such luck what so ever.

So I keep walking down the street, still feebly hoping for the best.

Now mind you its cold out and there is snow and I'm not even wearing a coat.

As I was formulating a plan in my head, I realized I had already walked half way to the gas station that is open.

Fuck it, I'm walking the whole way damn it!

So with no coat, my tube of fun and testies of terror retreating back into my body, I walk to the gas station.

Yes, I FINALLY got a pack of smokes, it took almost every penny I have but FUCKING HAVE ONE!!!

But wait, the fun aint over yet folks....

ME: What is the cheapest pack of full flavored cigarettes you have?

CASHIER: That would be GPC *Generic Priced Cigarettes* and I think there just under a buck.

Nope, not under a buck, tree near three bucks. What the fuck was running through here head when saying just under a buck, I have no clue. Maybe she was having a flashback from 1987 or something.

ME:Ok, so how much is it for a pack of full flavored Basics then?

CASHIER: About a quarter more more in price.

Basics, still not the best cigarette, but not bad either. Where as GPC is about the equivalent of smoking someone's ass. So the choice was simple.

ME: GPCs please

hah, kidding.

ME: Basics *counts out change on the conter* can I get a pack of matches with that too.

CASHIER: Sorry, we don't give packs of matches out.

ME: What?

Well fuck me in the goat ass, this is the biggest load of HORSE SHIT I have ever heard!!

Of course I was thinking that in my head, but to nice and to actually say it, though give me another hour of nicotene fitting and you bet your sweet bippy I would have said that.

Its bullshit because every other gas station INCLUDING THE ONE FROM THE SAME FUCKING COMPANY AND SAME NAME AS THE ONE I'M STANDING IN, THATS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN, give out free matches when you ask.

Nope, cause my fucked up freaky weird luck comes into play and I have to be in the ONLY gas station who doesn't do this.

So I eye the disposable lighters longingly, knowing I'm not going to get one with four cents.

And my zippo, sitting snuggly and safely......back in my apartment.

Oh for fucks sakes...

So, walk back the five blocks in the cold to my apartment JUST so I can hapily puff away and watch a movie.

Oh how pathetic is that.

You see, when I fall off the wagon, I don't want it to be as simple as oops, I slipped on a wet spot, and go tumbling off to the ground.

I'm a gluton for punishment I swear.

If I don't forget, I'll come back tomorow and tell you how the gig went.

Right now I'm hoping to catch up and a few weeks sleep.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003