So as I mentioned yesterday, I went on my monthly grocery shopping extravaganza.

I call it an extravaganza, cause otherwise it just doesn't sound all that intersting. Its the word 'extravaganza' that gives it that pinash, that flare it just needed.

Had my PR people working on it all week...heh

So, I tasted the sweetness of having access to a vehicle on my day of.....SHOPPING EXTRAVAGANZA!!!

You see that.....that sentence had zip all because of EXTRAVAGANZA!

Ok, I think I bleed that joke for all its worth.

Once again I got lucky enough that I could pull a ride from Dragonhawke and Prego, your favorite pregnent spaghetti sauce.

And amazingly enough, this shopping trip was primarly frustration free. In fact, things just seemed to be going my way. Which makes me paranoid, cause then I'm waiting for something nasty to happen like being hit by a bus or KC and the Sunshine band makes a huge come back.

Oh christ, it felt like someone just walked over my grave when I just said that.

And once again, I must reiterate I am the pimp daddy of grocery shopping savings. I spent roughly a hundred and thirty dollars and saved about fourty bucks, almost a third of the money I spent. And I only had one coupon in all that worth two dollars.

Oh yeah, I'm da pimp and I'm fully aware of it....don't be messing with me or I'll be forced to pimp slap you into the next nostalgic fad.

Yeah, I can take a wild guess none of you give a flying rats ass at my pimp status in the grocery shopping savings.

Well, unless Martha Stewart reads this diary, but I'm thinking she has better things to do like knit a coozy for her car or make a seven layer cake out of moldy cheese biscuit crumbs.

Part of my savings came from a deal they had on Taco Bell dinner kits. Now orginally I wasn't going to do this deal because those Taco Bell dinner kits have the smallest freakin shells. Then I just said fuck it, its the only mexican food thats on sale and man do I crave me some mexican food. That and I got a recipe for how to make taquitos that I wanted to try out.

So I get to the "international foods" aisle of Meijers, and theres not a single soft shell taco dinner kit left in the aisle. Well I hunt down an employee and I get up in his face screaming, "WHERES MY SOFT SHELL TACOS BIOTCH!!!" while waving my switch blade around.

*read that last sentence for the truth, which would be me finding the employee and politely pointing out the lack of dinner kits on the shelves*

Turns out, there is no Taco Bell soft shell dinner kits in the store what so ever. They where having to truck in a new shipment of it.

So whats this guy do, he offers to mark down another brand to the sales price of the Taco Bell dinner kits. So he grabs some Old El Paso Dinner kits and slaps several hundred price tags on it to cover over the bar code.

Taco Bell dinner kits sale price - 2 for $4.

Old El Paso dinner kits regular price - $3

Six Old El Paso dinner kits at the sales price of Taco Bell= $6 savings.

The second that employee was out of site, I broke it down and got down with my bad self right there in the aisle while doing my James Brown impersonation. Which I'm telling your right now, seeing a white boy like me do that, even I find it hilarious to watch.

On top of this, I found the biggest mother fucking bag of Mike and Ikes you are going to see outside of a wharehouse factory.

When I go grocery shopping, I like to hit the bulk goods and get me a good sized bag of Mike and Ikes as a little treat. I only do this once a month so I make it a preaty good sized bag.

So as I'm shoveling some in a bag, I look up and just happen to catch a glimpse of this giant green bag sitting on top of one of the bins. At first I really didn't pay attention to it, not recognizing what it was at first. It slowly dawned on me...hey wait a minute, thats a HUGE ass bag of Mike and Ikes'!

Five pound bag, no price tag on it. So, once again I'm forced to hunt down an employee. So he spends like fifteeen minutes running around the store looking for someone who has a clue how much it costs. Finally he comes back to me with a price of five dollars for the five pound bag.

hhhhmmmmmmm the bulk Mike and Ike's cost two dollars a pound.

Gee, this is a REAL tough decision to make.

So now I have this HUGE ass bag of Mike and Ikes. I'm torn between feeling like a complete glutton or putting that thing up on my entertainment center with its own stand and light like a trophey.

My god do I love me some Mike and Ikes'.

After my trip, to pass the time away, Prego, a friend of hers, Spanky, Willow, and I decided to play a game of Monopoly that Prego picked up at a garage sale for a buck.

It starts off preaty slow for me as Prego and Willow are zipping around the border buying up the land quicker then Enron went bankrupt.

Then some how things got turned around when I came to find myself with not only the most property, but the only one with an actual Monoply.

I had to fight a strong urge to not hold my money and property up and say bling bling!

Oh god, I've been reading to much shit on the internet I swear.

Ok, I got the concentration of a crackwhore right now and I'm about as funny as a tumor so I'll sign this one off and say have a good weekend folks.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003