Dragonhawke, Prego, and I where all playing a board game called Axis and Allies.

For those of you not familiar with it, its a strategy war game based on World War II.

So we are sitting in my living room, the board set up on my coffee table. Now normally you need about five people to play this game, but I know the game preaty well. So I played the Axis while the two of them where playing the Allies.

Well, my coffee table is preaty far from my table, so in order to reach the board, I must lean forward off my chair.

Not a big problem, a minor incoveniance for me.

Except here is the clencher...

I don't know what I eat or drank, but man I had some serious gas problems that night. So, every time I leaned forward, it seemed to apply some preasure on my bowels and....well... I like to say its my ass be argumentive.

Normal people would say I'm farting up a storm.

Like fucking clock work each and every time. I lean forward off the chair, my ass slightly raised in the air, and my butt checks are flapping with the breeze.

Whats worse is I was running two different countries here, and there turns where practically back to back.

So, I'd lean forward to move my German army around...

pfffffffffttttttttttttttttttt

excuse me.

Its done, I wait for Russia to get done. Then, I'm leaning forward once again to move my Japanese army around.

pppppfffffttttttttt....pop.....poppoppop

christ!....sorry, excuse me.

I couldn't stop it for the life of me. Just when I would think my ass was done arguing with me, I'd lean forward and it would emphasize its last point whole heartedly with me.

I'm begining to think Weetabix has her talking uterus, me, I have my talking ass. And what an asshole it is....

heh....sorry....bad pun.

Now, the only thing I have to be thankfull for that night was the fact they didn't stink.

How could I tell they didn't stink? Well, other the fact I couldn't smell them. The paint wasn't pealing off the walls, the food wasn't spoiling in my kitchen, Dragonhawke and Prego didn't run screaming from my apartment, "OH GOD THE SMELL!! GOOD GOD THE SMELL! OH, THE HUMANITY!"

*as you can see, I use "oh, the humaninty" every damn chance I can.*

Well, as disgusting as me farting all night is, at least its not as disgusting as those damn Lisa "left eye" Lopes Autopsy Photos is.

BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

Snuck in that hit jumper right in the end of my entry.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003