Thanks to that I now have a brand new, more user friendly, less likely to analy rape you while pooring sugar in your gas tank kind of message board.

Now thats class folks.

My last message board, which will remain nameless and linkless, seemed pretty good when I first got it. Which came with a free 30 day trial gold membership with the message board. Which sounded cool to me, but I really couldn't see what the big deal was about this "gold membership" on the board.

Then it expired and I got a real good feeling what its like to not be a gold member.

For any of you who has visited my message board in the past you would preaty much know how bad it was. Those of you who haven't bothered it, let me try and sum it up in cheap seven grade poetic form...

Thank you, thank you. Thought up that one all by myself. I'm just so special that way.

So now with a much more easy to use message board I'll be seeing a lot more of you jumping on there and conversing about the strangeness I'm up to today.

Of course if you don't all go there and the board is as dead as Walt Disney. Then I'm going to have to go back to my old message board and blame the lack of messages on there because of how shitty the board is.

Must apeaze my ego...its thinking of revolting and joining up with Jackie Chan. Why? Cause its sick of my pesimistic shit and is looking to bust into movies kung fu style.

Oh joy oh fucking joy of joys!

My new computer is here and just itching to be put into use. All I have to do tomorow is set it all up and I'm ready to go with a computer vastly superior in all aspects then this piece of shit computer.

To sum this up in a way that doesn't turn all computer geek lingo on all of you since pretty much I'll probably fuck up somewhere and call my video card or CD rom by the wrong specifications or brand name and get shit from it from all the 3l33t or however you say it.

Lets just set up each of these computers in situations more familiar to us bipedal senchent beings.

Scenario #1: First Date

Old Computer: *shows up wearing dirty slacks, checkered short sleeve button up shirt half tucked into his pants, hair a horrible, greasy mess. Thick, black rimmed glass held together at the nose piece by fifty feet of duct tape* Er um....sorry I didn't get a chance to shower. I was really busy playing a game of yahtzee and forgot what time it is. Ok...so how does going to a Star Trek convention then eating at Wendy's afterwards sound to you? Wait, let me get my pocket protector and my Daddy's visa card and we'll be on our way.

New Computer: *strolls up causally wearing a pimped out black suit and a white silk shirt neatly pressed. An aroma of musky cologne wafts off him mixed with his body chemistry that makes a very apealing combination. Barry White playing softly in the backround as he casually pushes back one stray hair to the rest of his well brushed hair. Flashing a pearly white smile, eyes twinking in the soft light that accentuates just perfectly* Pinch me cause this can't be real. No way the woman of my dreams could walk out from my subconcious, apear in front of me, and be even more spectacular then I could ever imagine. The world would accuse me of being a greedy man for having such a beautiful, lucious lady on my arm. Think what they would say if they only knew how amazingly inteligent and witty you are all at the same time. I'd have to wisk you away to some unknonw place in fear of losing you to a mob of men clamering for just a single look from you. Oh, did you say you can't wait tell after the dinner to get me out of these clothes. Well who am I to protest the words of such an angelic creature that is you. Oh my of course we can find a quiet place for me to make mad passionate love to you before we get home.

Scenario #2: Eating out

Old computer: Sorry the speaker isn't working so well right now. Can I take your order? Why yes we do have a ninety nine cent menu.

New computer: Of course we have the perfect table for you right between Jack Nicholson and Harrison Ford. I hope you don't mind being so close to the three piece band. We find the soft classic music adds quite nicely to each candle lit dinner. Now if you would excuse me I'll just go fetch your waiter to bring you the complimentary bottle of champagne and cavier.

Scenario #3: Internet Conection

Old computer: You have mail!

New Computer: Dedicated T3 line for each of our richly deserved clients along with a web page with a GIG worth of memory, 24/7 helpfull tech support, and nightly back rub cause we know that chair aches your back so. What, price? Oh, for you its free.

As its plain to see. I'm much happier with this new computer.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003