Yeah, I have the sneaking suspicion all the uber geeks who run my ISP have the same thing going on. With a connection that sucks ass as much as this one does, I can�t really blame them.

Wait, I can blame them, after all they are the assholes who are suppose to be giving me my internet connection smooth and consistently. Unfortunately there client recognition program gives me more fits then when Fernando was the bastard it is before the reformatting and new modem.

I prepay a few months at a time so I�m not worry about sending out a money order every month to keep my connection. So usually this guarantees me a few months where I receive a bill that really is just a reminder we�ve taken off another month�s worth of your last money order. Good, another few months I�ll have to send another one in.

I sent one last month; I shouldn�t have to worry about it for awhile. So why was I checking my connection periodically during a five hour period of time and getting the same error I get when I forget to pay my bill in time and they shut it off?

Client recognition programming that smokes the ganja, that�s how.

I know I have my username and password right, it�s the same damn one I�ve been using for two years now. As proof, I connected with the same damn username and password hours later and finally it didn�t tell me, �doesn�t recognize your username or password� error.

Yes I know the common response to this will be, �Chrome, dude, get a new ISP then!�

Seriously, as much as this one can suck ass, it sucks ass just a little bit less then its competition. For the most part it sucks less because I know people who use other connections in town who have just as many or more problems as I do. Add on they�re paying roughly twice as much or more then me for what turns out to be a lesser �package deal�.

Or, �Dude, seriously, cable modem, stop being a cheap fuck.�

Um, sounds good, really does except for one problem. The cable company has a monopoly here in town and you are sure as shit going to get it in the ass lube free because of this. Hence why it costs around a hundred bucks for cable *non-digital* and the slowest cable modem speed you can get.

It�s bad enough my cable bill *for non-digital* right now is around forty five bucks a month. I really can�t afford to have it go up two hundred and fifty percent just so I can download porn in less time then it takes to get a bill passed through Congress.

So what exactly am I going to do about it?

Bitch, whine, piss, and moan about it, but that�s about it.

Oh and be stuck on a dial up modem that the closest I can come to �decent� porn is this

Nice, but gets old pretty fast.

And I�d like to dedicate this particular link of perversion to Weetabix aka �she of the boobie cleavage that looks like Cameron Diaz�s ass.�

Right now I would go into details about my fucked up sleep patterns, but even my body is confused on what to do.

See my body can�t seem to decide if I�m caught in the middle of a short term case of insomnia, or a long term case of hibernation. It�s a bitch to get to sleep within a thirty hour period of time, but once I finally do manage to get that sleep, no matter how much I�m still yearning for more. The kicker, once I�m fully awake the insomnia is back on ba-by. So as much as I would crave for a cat nap a few hours later, just aint happening.

Now doesn�t that just sound like fun!

Consistently tired yet can never manage to get to sleep tell it�s least convenient for me.

Add on the fact its cold, I�m down to my last three cigarettes *and two very powdery ones, only those who roll there own know the hell that is*, a half bottle of Pepsi, and a need to go shopping the day before Thanksgiving.

So if you happen to read �crazed man storms small town Meijer, death toll highest in corporation history� in the newspaper. You�ll know it is me tired, wired, and desperately in need of a decent cigarette and some serious bubbly, cold, delicious Pepsi.

I think I�m going to go stare at the link I gave earlier and hope big, bouncy boobies force me into a baser, more docile state of mind in hopes I don�t shove a turkey baster up someone�s ass tomorrow.

Have a good holiday folks.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003