You see where the emphasis is in that sentence. For the bold impaired that would be the word went.

I relapsed like an ex-crack head after hanging out with Whitney Houston for a week. Apparently what I thought was done just turned out to be the drive by shooting version of it. It was nasty, painful, and blindingly quick. Then I hit �the eye of the storm�, the twister being the constant flushing of my toilet, for about a day. After that the bastard came back at me with a vengeance. Sort of like an Arnold Schwarzenegger sequel.

Shit Storm 2: The power of the poo!

Seriously isn�t it bad enough Hollywood now makes sequels of every last freakin movie it comes out with. Do we really need this kind of marketing scheme with diseases?

Just as I�m thinking I might gain back simple things like energy levels, the ability to eat solid foods, the property of my own ass which I can take more then ten feet away from a toilet. It all comes back on me like an old school Trekkie after telling him Picard was better then Kirk.

Because of this I haven�t actually slept in my bed in almost a week. Seems being all stretched out and comfortable was a cue to my bowels to reset the dump clocks to every five minutes. So I�ve spent the last five maybe six days sleeping in my recliner. One reason it�s right next to the bathroom and two because laying back in that curved, comfortable, yet somewhat awkward to sleep in position put a pad lock on my bowels. This meant I could get sleep in longer increments then five minutes a piece. The irony of this is that since it wasn�t nearly as comfortable as sleeping in a bed, and the ability to have the TV on while I slept, allowed for only two to three hour sleep blocks at a time.

Because of this I was up hours I normally am asleep for. This meant watching a lot of day time television and one incident, which I blame on the sickness, of willingly watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I was delirious I tell you, fucking delirious!

Though this also meant I got to watch all four of this weekend�s play off games. Well I watched three of them then fell asleep half way through what is being called the biggest come back in play off history, damn it. See I�m wide awake and the Giants are kicking ass. I pass out and minutes later the 49er�s are stomping a fresh mud hole in there ass.

Coincidence? Yeah, I�m pretty sure it was.

I�m now at the tail ends of this sickness, at least I�m hoping I am which a very good thing is. My freezer is practically empty and I was supposed to refill it sometime last week. Actually the day I was to refill it was the same day the sickness came over me then Enron�s bankruptcy.

Speaking of Enron* nice segway there* I can�t fucking believe there is already a TV movie coming out about it. Sadly this will probably be about eighty percent of America�s way of finding out what was up with that whole Enron business.

Listen, America, we got a problem here. You need to be entertained and let�s face it the news doesn�t cut it for you. So here�s my idea on how to settle all this. Don�t wait tell they come out with a TV movie about it before you know what�s going on. Watch farce news shows like The Daily Show at the very least. You�ll be more up to date on the news, even if only on need to know if it�s comedically worth basis, and it�s a lot like watching a stand up comedy special.

Well that is the end of this diary entry. As soon as I can go outside my apartment, which looks to be in a day or two, I�m treating myself to a few things. I saw T-bone steaks on a great sale and if it�s still there a buy one get one free DVD collection of Stir of Echoes and The Ninth Gate.

A week of not being able to eat anything substantial and watching shitty afternoon television while spending more time on my toilet this year then the last half of last year.

I think I earned my right to pamper myself with a juicy steak and some good movies.

It's about time - Wednesday, Jul. 07, 2004
An Honor for Chrome - Friday, Feb. 20, 2004
A great loss - Monday, Oct. 20, 2003
a terrible announcement. - Tuesday, Sept. 09, 2003
Chrome speaks: - Friday, Sept. 05, 2003